Baby, Oh Baby!
by Enchantress101
Summary: **Repost** What Harry wants, Harry gets, and right now, he wants a baby more than anything. What lengths will he go to to get one?And what role does Snape play in all of this?MPREG, Slash of the SS/HP kind, RW/HG, RL/SB and more.
1. Chapter One

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (01)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:** tobygirl2020@yahoo.com  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Slash MPreg Severus/Harry  
**Rating:** R  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
**Author notes:** I've noticed the lack of SS/HP fiction on this site, and decided to post my fic here. Don't worry, everyone's legal and all!   
  
If you read, then please review. Comments are wonderful . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*~* Baby, Oh, Baby! *~*

Chapter One

"I want to have a baby."

Silence reigned supreme over the room as the six words left Harry´s mouth. He shifted nervously in his chair and hesitantly met the startled gazes of his two best friends. _Okay . . . Maybe that wasn't the best way to start the conversation . . ._

Hermione sat a mug of steaming hot coffee before her husband of one year, Ron Weasley, with a loud clank, causing the dark liquid to slosh over the rim. Ron didn't seem to notice as the spilled coffee ran down the table and into his lap. No, he was too busy struggling to regain the ability to speak.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence Ron cleared his throat. "E-excuse me? What was that? I don't think I heard you correctly."

"I _said_, I want to have a baby," he repeated as steadily as he could.

Hermione and Ron shared a glance, and Hermione's hand slid unconsciously to her own stomach which was a little rounder than usual. Harry recognized what was in the shared look and crossed his arms over is chest, pinning a glare on them.

Harry would admit that he was a bit jealous of the loving relationship between Ron and Hermione and wanted something like that for himself. He'd dated a little, but was unable to find that special person. "There's no reason to feel sorry for me, okay? I-"

"No, no, that's great!" said Hermione, kicking Ron's leg underneath the table. He just glared. "I think adoption is a _wonderful_ id-"

"I never said anything about adoption."

Hermione blinked. "Oh . . ."

Ron snorted and sipped at his coffee. "I hate to be the one to break it to ya, Harry, but babies don't exactly grow on trees, you know. You've got to have a woman to do the other part, and, the last time I checked, you weren't exactly into females."

So Harry was gay, and had been for a while. It didn't bother any of his friends, probably because they'd gotten used to seeing Seamus and Dean sucking on each others faces all over the Gryffindor common room. He'd `come out' in his seventh year, shortly before Voldemort's defeat, and the news spread through the Hogwarts Houses like a wildfire, sparked by Lavender Brown's wagging tongue. This, for a reason unfathomable by Harry, did not put a stopper on his `popularity rating'. Everyone _still _wanted to be his friend, girls _still _flirted with him (because he looked so `cute' when he blushed, according to Padma), Colin and Ginny _still _recruited members for their `soon-to-be-official' Harry Potter Fan Club, Malfoy was _still _and annoying git, so forth and so on.

When word spread to the general public (how it got there, no one knew), Fred and George Weasley's `Lightning Bolt Line of Harry Potter Candies', dedicated to Harry in thanks for the money, out sold Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans that year, making the twins filthy rich.

Harry guessed that the wizarding world worked in mysterious ways . . . or was probably more open minded that the Muggle world.

"I'm not," said Harry. "But after some research, I discovered a recently developed technique that allows same-sex couples to become pregnant. I've spoken to a doctor, and the process sounds relatively simple."

Ron frowned. "Are you SURE about this Harry? There's no need to rush into fatherhood. You're only twenty one years old."

Well, he certainly didn't _feel _that young, not after everything he'd been through. Harry sighed. "You wouldn't understand, Ron. You and Hermione have always been a part of a loving family and now I want that for myself." _I want to be able to give this child everything I never had when I was growing up._

Hermione smiled supportively as she hovered over the back of Ron's chair. "Does that mean you've met someone special? When can we meet him?"

"Er . . ." Now THIS would be the hard part. "Not exactly. I've been looking into some sperm donors-" Harry rolled his eyes as Ron faked several coughs and gave him a look that said `grow up'. Ron grinned sheepishly. "Like I was saying, I looked into some sperm donors, but . . . that didn't interest me. I'd like to at least _know _the guy."

Ron suddenly looked a little uncomfortable and said, "Hey, don't look at _me_."

Hermione slapped him on the back of the head. "Don't be an idiot, Ron! Really, this is _serious._"

"Well, so was I!" he cried.

"Just . . . don't speak anymore, okay? Drink your coffee like a good little boy . . . that's it, just like that," muttered Hermione as Ron returned his attention to his mug. "Now, did you have anyone in mind?"

"Well . . . ah . . . Hermione, you better sit down for this," said Harry nervously. He waited until she'd sat before continuing. "You see, guys . . . I was thinking about someone . . . I'd really like to have him be the father of my child . . ." He winced. That sounded a little strange, considering who he was talking about . . . "I just don't know if he'd agree . . . And I'm not sure how I'd ask him . . ."

"Stop stalling, Harry," ordered Hermione. "Just tell us who he is already!"

" . . . Professor Snape."


	2. Chapter Two

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (02)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:**  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Harry Snape MPreg Slash  
**Rating:** R  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby and, like they say, where there's a will, there's a way! What happens when he asks Snape to be his you know what donor?  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Baby, Oh Baby!

Chapter Two

"Well . . . ah . . . Hermione, you better sit down for this," said Harry nervously. He waited until she'd sat before continuing. "You see, guys . . . I was thinking about someone . . . I'd really like to have him be the father of my child . . ." He winced. That sounded a little strange, considering who he was talking about . . . "I just don't know if he'd agree . . . And I'm not sure how I'd ask him . . ."

"Stop stalling, Harry," ordered Hermione. "Just tell us who he is already!"

" . . . Professor Snape."

"Oh my," gasped Hermione.

Ron spat out his coffee, sending long streams of liquid from his mouth and across the table. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and jumped up. "WHAT THE **FUCK**?!! God_damn_ it, Harry-"

"RON!!" Hermione shouted, yanking him back down into his chair. "I don't like this anymore than you do, but as friends, we should hear Harry out, okay?"

Ron grumbled something that sounded like 'old greasy bastard' under his breath and sat down. His face was just as red as his hair and he looked furious.

Harry took in a deep breath. "Okay. Ahh . . . where should I start?"

"With why him?" grumbled his best friend. "Snape, Harry? SNAPE?!! The same man who terrorized us and our friends for seven years of our life?! The same man who put you down and picked on you for no good reason at all? The _same_ man who-"

"Saved my life a couple of times AND helped me defeat Voldemort?" interrupted Harry in a slightly irritated voice. "Yes, that same Severus Snape. You guys don't know him like I do."

Hermione didn't know what to say. Harry wanted a baby for all the right reasons, she knew, but the method at which he was going to obtain one worried her. Out of all people . . . Severus Snape? She knew that they had worked together on missions assigned to them by Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix, and it was common knowledge that Snape had been there for the Final Battle, but exactly how close had they gotten?

At age twenty-one, she STILL couldn't imagine anyone being . . . romantic or intimate with Snape. He was too old, too greasy, too cold. It just didn't happen.

"He's got some good qualities. Strong, brave, self-confident, extremely intelligent, a powerful wizard . . . everything I'd like for my child to be."

Hermione frowned. "But Harry . . . he's so . . . _old_! And are you sure he'd do this? I mean-"

"I know there are no guarantees," said Harry quickly, "but it's worth a try. It wouldn't hurt to ask."

Ron snickered. "Oh, yeah? I can imagine him giving you one heck of a curse for just asking! Look, I've got Oliver Wood's Muggle phone number. Last time I remembered, you had a crush on him." His red eyebrows began to move up and down suggestively. "Call him up and-"

Harry flushed wildly. "I NEVER had a crush on Oliver! I don't know who told you that, but . . . nevermind. You're just trying to get me off of the topic."

"Damn right I am! I can't believe you want SNAPE to be the father of your child, Harry. I mean, it's strange enough, thinking of you with a swollen belly and all . . ." Ron shivered. "But you want your child to have SNAPE'S genes?! Hooked nose, greasy hair . . . argh . . ." He began to envision some alien-like Snape baby and gagged. "Your kid would come out looking hideous."

Harry scowled. "You don't know that."

"Besides, Ron, it's not all about looks," Hermione said, swatting at him. "Don't be so vain."

"Okay, okay. I suppose Harry's a good-looking bloke, so his good genes could cancel out Snape's . . . not that I approve or anything," Ron added quickly.

Hermione shook her head warily. Why had she married him again? She didn't even know anymore. "Harry, are you prepared to explain to your child when he or she gets older why he or she has no mommy? Or why there's only one parent instead of two? I imagine that it would be pretty . . . upsetting for a child to know that his other parent didn't want him . . . or her."

"Of course I've thought about it! But having one loving parent is better than none, like I had." Harry was getting angry. It seemed as if they were tying to find every possible reason as to why he should NOT have a child, instead of standing behind him like friends were supposed to. "Look, if you guys don't think I should do this, then say so. Don't beat around the bush."

Ron leaned over the table and looked directly into Harry's eyes. "I don't think you should do this."

Hermione groaned and hit him again. "Don't listen to him. I just think that adoption or waiting until you found a loving spouse would be a better idea. Provides for a more stable environment and all."

"There WILL be a stable environment, Hermione."

"Well, what's wrong with adoption?" she countered.

Harry sighed. "I'd like to have a baby of my own flesh and blood. It's not really fair that quote-unquote normal couples are able to experience the joys of childbirth while homosexual couples can't. This procedure is like . . . an answered prayer! And I want to take advantage of it!"

Ron burst out laughing. "Gee, Harry, you sound like a spokesperson for gay couples or something!"

Harry jumped up out of frustration. "Fine! Fine!! If you won't take this seriously, then I'll just do this without your opinion!"

"Wait, wait, I'm sorry, man." Ron grabbed his friend's arm and sat him back down. "Okay . . . here's what I think. Do what Hermione says. Wait for someone to come along and _then_ get this procedure done, or just adopt. It'll be easier that way- for everyone."

"Maybe I don't want to take the easy way out," said Harry stubbornly. "Thanks for your input, but I'm going to go through with this anyway. I just wanted you guys to know what was going on, that's all. You can't change my mind."

Ron threw up his hands. "Whatever. If that's what you want to do, then . . ." He let out a huge sigh. "I'm behind you. Just . . . don't expect me to like Snape or anything. That's pushing it."

Harry grinned. "Thanks. Now, all I have to do is break the news to Sirius and Remus . . ."

Hermione's mouth fell open. "You mean you haven't TOLD them?! Sirius is going to _flip_ and you know it. He HATES Snape."

"Yeah, more than I do," Ron put in. "Well, you'll tell us how everything goes, right? I mean, if Sirius doesn't kill you first . . ."

Once Harry was gone, Hermione and Ron sat in silence for a while, thinking of the strange conversation they'd just had with their best friend, wondering if they'd said the right things, if they'd handled the situation properly . . . until Ron said,

"Hermione, dear . . . why are my pants wet?"

Harry made a quick stop at his apartment in London to collect himself before Floo-ing over to Sirius's house, where Remus also lived. The two had 'gotten together' shortly after Peter Pettigrew was caught and was forced to confess to blowing up a street full of Muggles, along with giving away the secret location of the Potter's whereabouts to Voldemort.

There had been no Azkaban for him. Just the Dementor's Kiss.

A nice and formal, _public_ apology was made to Sirius from the Ministry of Magic, but Harry's godfather didn't seem to think that was enough for all of his years of solitude in the wizard prison. He sued the Ministry for a large sum of money, apparently for not investigating his claims well enough and pinning the blame on him. There was a quick settlement that left Sirius and Remus living quite comfortably, with tons of money to spare.

Harry was glad that his godfather and Remus were finally happy, but most importantly, happy _together_.

With his goal in mind, Harry Floo-ed over to Sirius's home.

They were expecting him- he'd sent an owl indicating his estimated time of arrival, and were sitting in the comfortable living room, practically draped over one another. It was cute, but Harry really didn't want to see his forty-something year old godfather being intimate with someone.

"Ahem," he interrupted softly, brushing a bit of soot from the sleeve of his shirt.

Remus nearly fell out of Sirius's lap and flushed. He scooted over and straitened out his clothes. "Oh, sorry about that Harry. We didn't hear you . . ."

Sirius just grinned. "Sit down, sit down! You said you had something important to tell us . . .?"

Harry sat across from the two lovers and watched as Remus began moving closer and closer to Sirius. Their hands joined together, as if they'd moved out of their own free will. Harry felt a sharp pang of jealousy deep within his chest, but pushed it away. "Yes, I do. Well . . ." _Hmm . . . I guess it couldn't hurt to open up the discussion like I did with Hermione and Ron._

"I've decided to have a baby," he said, mentally crossing his fingers.

Both men looked startled. "A . . . baby?" asked Remus, his voice squeaking when he spoke the second word.

"Yes, a baby."

"Adoption?" This was from Sirius. "Harry, don't you think you're a little bit too young for a child? You're only-"

"I know, I know. But I'm ready. You and I both know, Sirius," Harry stated seriously, "that just because the war is over doesn't mean there still aren't people out to get me. I don't want to miss out on anything in life. I want to be a father."

Remus gave Harry a smile, remembering how happy James had been when he'd found out that he was going to be a father. He'd never seen his friend so pleased. "James was so excited when he found out that you were on the way, Harry . . ." said Remus in a slightly dazed voice. Harry beamed.

Sirius frowned. "I don't know . . . How far along are you in the adoption process?"

_Oh, boy, here it comes. _"Umm . . . you see . . . I'm not exactly _adopting_ . . . A medi-wizard who specializes in giving infertile women the chance to have a baby has created a procedure that would allow two males to have a baby of their own. That's what I plan to do."

"What? Is this safe? Has it been _tested_ properly?" barked Sirius. "And who exactly are you planning to be the other male?"

Ron and Hermione hadn't asked anything about safety, but he was prepared to answer. After all, he'd sat with the medi-wizard for hours upon hours, going over every aspect of the procedure. "As for it being safe . . . the risks are like any normal pregnancy, but it hasn't exactly been tested on _humans-_"

Sirius wrenched his hand away from Remus's and clenched them in his lap, trying very hard not to loose his temper. What was Harry thinking? He wanted to do something that wasn't even tested yet? "No. Absolutely not. You don't know _what _could go wrong!"

Harry shook his head. "But no one will know if it'll actually work is SOMEONE doesn't try! This isn't just about me. If this works . . . if I deliver a healthy, normal baby, imagine how many other people in my position could enjoy fatherhood! It could be a medical breakthrough!"

Sirius scowled. "What if something goes wrong, huh? You would've survived Voldemort, the most dangerous wizard who ever lived, only to be struck down by some medical folly!! I don't think so!"

Remus, on the other hand, thought that it was a great idea. Maybe it was because he liked the thought of having a baby himself . . . But Sirius didn't seem to approve. He wondered what his lover thought about children, particularly one of their own . . .

Remus patted Sirius's thigh. "Calm down. I think it's a great idea, Harry. You seem to have put a lot of thought into the whole thing."

"Oh, I have. I didn't make the decision over night."

"So, who do you have in mind as the other father?" questioned Remus. "Have you finally met someone?"

Harry gulped. He briefly considered moving closer to the fireplace, in case a quick exit was necessary, but decided that if Sirius wanted him that bad, he'd just jump in after him. _Be brave, Harry. After all, you kicked old Voldie's ass, so you can do this._

"Actually, I was thinking about a . . . er . . . a sperm donor. I DO have a specific person in mind . . ." Harry drifted off. "Umm . . . please don't go crazy or anything, but I was considering Professor Snape."

Three . . . two . . . one . . .

"WHAT THE **FUCK**?!!!"


	3. Chapter Three

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (03)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:** tobygirl2020@yahoo.com  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Drama  
**Keywords:** Slash Harry/Snape mpreg  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
**Author notes:** I am finally updating this on astronomy tower. Fanfiction.net deleted this fic from its site for no good reason, so, until I can get that corrected, I will post here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*~* Chapter Three *~*

"Actually, I was thinking about a . . . er . . . a sperm donor. I DO have a specific person in mind . . ." Harry drifted off. "Umm . . . please don't go crazy or anything, but I was considering Professor Snape."

Three . . . two . . . one . . .

"WHAT THE **FUCK**?!!!" exploded Sirius, getting to his feet. "Are you fucking _crazy_?!"

Harry winced. It was the second time he'd gotten that reaction. "I-"

"You can't be serious," said Sirius incredulously. "Okay, I can live with the baby thing, that's fine. But this . . . oh no! This is too much! I mean, you want Severus Snape to be the_ father of your child_?! Think about this Harry, okay, just even a _little_ bit."

"I HAVE! I've thought and thought and thought . . ." Harry's voice softened. "But I still want Professor Snape to-"

"Harry," interrupted Remus gently. "Severus . . . he wouldn't . . . I mean, Severus . . . he may come off as a bastard, but-"

"Come off as one? COME OFF AS ONE?!!! He IS one!!! He HATED you, Harry!!" cried Sirius as he paced around the room like some sort of caged animal.

Harry made a face. "He never HATED me."

A look of shock and disbelief crossed Sirius's angry face. His hands began to make movements that looked a lot like he was attempting to strangle something, or someone. "Hold me back, Remus, hold me back because I SWEAR I'm gonna _hurt_ him for saying something SO stupid!"

"Look, he TOLD me so! During a mission," Harry replied.

Sirius gave a very dog-like growl before leaping clear over the table between them. Harry jumped up and darted out of the way just before his godfather grabbed him. "And you _believed_ him?!" he roared, approaching Harry with a deadly gleam in his eye. "You _believed_ that greasy, spiteful, hooked nose demonic little bastard?!"

"Now, now, Sirius. Calm down . . ." muttered Remus, but he was completely ignored.

"What reason did he have to lie, Sirius?" protested Harry as he kept a good enough distance from Sirius. "Besides, you're one to talk about spite!"

"And, if I remember correctly," Remus cut in, "you were the one who give him that hooked nose-"

"That is TOTALLY irrelevant!!" he spat at his lover before returning his anger to Harry. "What exactly happened between you two on those missions? Did he try to force himself on you or something?"

"Wha- NO!" Harry looked mildly disgusted. "If he did, do you _really _think I'd be talking to you about-"

"I don't know! I HONESTLY don't know! Maybe he brainwashed you or something!"

"Brainwash . . . that's absolutely _ridiculous_!"

"And so is wanting SEVERUS SNAPE to father your child!!"

"You just like to carry grudges, Sirius! I bet if it was almost _anyone_ else, you wouldn't be having such a hard time with this!"

Sirius didn't want to admit that Harry was right, but he was. Not like he was going to tell him, though. "Surely, Harry, there's someone else," he gasped desperately. "A-a second person you had in mind, in case Snape didn't agree."

Harry appeared thoughtful. "Well . . . there WAS someone . . ."

"Yes, yes? Who?"

"Draco Malfoy."

Sirius saw red again. "WHAT?!" He lunged forward.

Harry laughed and danced out of the way. "Just kidding, just kidding!" Remus chuckled behind his hand as Sirius began to look a bit embarrassed at his tendency to overreact.

"Damn it, Harry, don't SCARE me like that! One shock is enough for the day. Now . . . I heard from Ron and Hermione that you had a crush on a _nice _boy . . . what was his name?"

"Oliver Wood?" suggested Remus.

"Yeah, that's it!"

Harry blushed furiously. WHEN did this rumor start? WHY hadn't he heard anything about it? Most importantly HOW did it start? He'd never . . . _Oliver_ had never . . . NEITHER of them had ever HINTED at wanting more than a friendship with each other . . . Then again, Hermione had told him once that he was blind to most romantic on-goings at Hogwarts. Could he have missed something? Probably, but that wasn't important at the moment. "I didn't have a crush on him! Oliver and I are just friends!"

Remus grinned. "Ron said that you met him for dinner last week at a fancy French Muggle restaurant in London. Sounds a bit . . . _romantic_ for a friendly outing, don't you think, Sirius?"

"I'd have to agree with you there, Remus," said Sirius slyly. "TOO romantic."

"I-it wasn't MY idea. Oliver suggested the place, not me! And you two are doing the exact same thing that Ron did, trying to distract me. Let's get back to the topic, shall we?"

"Okay," said Sirius sternly, going back into 'battle mode'. "No, you are not going to ask Snape to father your child, you will forget that the stupid idea came into your mind, you will go out with Oliver Wood-"

"Don't give me ultimatums! I'm not a child, Sirius. Not anymore."

Sirius snorted. "Really? You're not? Only a _child_ would rush into something like this without giving it the proper amount of thought."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I HAVE? And you won't stop me. I'm going to do what I want! I'm tired of having decisions made for me!"

Remus cut in., realizing that they were about to go back to anther round of bickering back and forth. He was developing a bit of a headache, too. "Sirius, can I talk to you in private, please?"

"Actually, Remus, I'm having an _important_ conversation right now, so- OUCH!! HEY!!"

Remus dragged him out of the living room by the back of his shirt and shoved him forcefully into the kitchen. Sirius whirled around and glared, pacing like an angry dog. "Please don't argue with Harry anymore, okay?"

"Why not?! I'm not going to let him do this, Remus, I just CAN'T!"

Remus sighed heavily and lowered his voice so that Harry would not overhear him. "Look, what I was TRYING to tell Harry before I was rudely interrupted was that Severus Snape isn't that kind of person, to just let someone have his child and not care for it. Clearly you don't remember that whole mess back in our sixth year, when that Slytherin girl _claimed_ that Severus knocked her up. Remember how _willing_ he was to take care of _both _of them, but especially that baby? You didn't see the look on his face when he found out that it wasn't even his . . ."

Sirius snorted rudely. "Yeah, that's because it meant that his girlfriend was screwing around with someone else."

Remus sighed exasperatedly. "That is NOT the point! What I'm trying to say is, Severus will _definitely say no_. So just let Harry ask him, he'll decline, and that will be that."

_And I won't look bad in Harry's eyes, because I let him do what he wanted. _" . . . Fine, he can ask. Now send him away before I change my mind and knock his block off, okay?"

"Whatever, Sirius." Remus went back to the living room where a very nervous Harry was standing next to the fireplace, his hand awfully close to the pot of Floo Powder sitting on the mantel. He gave Harry a reassuring smile. "Sirius says you can ask Snape if you want to."

Harry let out huge a sigh of relief. "Thanks for whatever you said to calm him down. I really appreciate it."

"Ummm . . . Look, Harry . . . are you _sure_ . . ."

Harry looked past Remus, at a spot on the wall. "I wouldn't expect any of you to understand. He's not a bad person, really. We've talked, I've told him some things I've never told anyone else. He listens, he understands. He's told me a little about himself, which explains why he is the way he is. Professor Snape just puts on that act because he doesn't want to let anyone in. He hasn't exactly said that, but I know."

Remus looked extremely doubtful. "Well . . . "

Harry gave him a quick hug and said, "I'll head over to Hogwarts now. Wish me luck."

"Good luck . . ." Remus watched as Harry Apparated into Hogsmeade. _I think you'll need it._

The werewolf then returned to the kitchen and sat at the table across from Sirius. "He's gone. Went over to Hogwarts to speak to Snape."

Sirius just grunted.

"Sirius . . ."

"Hmm?"

" . . . what do you think of babies?"

*~*

Harry was more nervous than he thought he would be as he walked down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry towards the dungeons where Severus Snape's private chamber were located. It was the weekend, and Snape, being as antisocial as he was, was bound to be there.

Harry had been there only once before, during his last year of Hogwarts, when he and Snape had returned form a mission. Being as stubborn as ever, he'd refused to have _anyone_ attempt to heal his injuries, leaving Harry to escort him back to his chambers where he could tend to them himself.

He hadn't known what to expect, but the old-fashioned dark wood furniture in the living room had been a pleasant surprise. Everything _matched_, the room's accessories had obviously been chosen with care, and, from what he could see, there wasn't a _spec_ of dust around.

Seeing the evident astonishment on Harry's face, Snape had snickered and gruffly said, "What did you expect? A cave?"

And Harry had replied that a cave would be more suitable for a monster like him. With a smile on his face, of course.

They'd shared a few chuckles over that one . . . before Snape passed out and sent both of them to the floor, nearly crushing Harry in the process.

Harry was so caught up in his memories that he didn't see a familiar person coming at him from the other direction.

"Lost in space again, Potter?" chided Draco Malfoy ash e came to a stop, his usual smirk in place.

Harry looked up and stopped, too. "Malfoy! W-what are you doing here?"

Draco just looked over his shoulder, then up and down at Harry. "More like _I_ should be asking _you_ that question, hmm? Are you lost? You _do _realize that you're heading to the dungeons."

"Er . . . yeah . . ."

The blond looked a little shocked at his reply, but quickly regained his composure as usual. "Oh. Going to see Professor Snape?" What else was in the dungeons? "What for?"

"Is it any of your business?"

One slim eyebrow raised. "Getting a bit defensive, aren't you? I just asked a simple question. You must have something to hide."

"No I don't," replied Harry a little too quickly. It bothered him that Draco could was always sure of himself, always so poised, never at a loss for words, while Harry had always been the opposite. Evidently, things were still the same. Harry cleared his throat, anxious to change the topic. "What are _you_ doing here? I thought you'd never come back after you graduated."

Draco shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly. "I've got nothing to hide, Potter, so I think I'll tell you. I want to become Professor Snape's apprentice."

"His _apprentice_?"

Malfoy put on one of his innocent looks and stared almost demurely down at the floor. Then he said softly, so soft that Harry nearly missed it, "Professor Snape is a _very _knowledgeable man. I'm sure there are some . . . _things_ . . . that he could teach me." Then came a sly grin and a roguish wink. "If you get my drift, Potter."

He did, but he wished that he didn't. Malfoy was interested in their old potion's teacher? Well, he wasn't really one to talk. After all, he wanted to have the man's baby. Nonetheless, Harry turned red. "I . . . I don't know what to . . . er . . ."

"Twice my age or not, Potter, he's one right sexy devil! But don't go telling him that, all right? I take pleasure in challenges, and, I must say, this is going to be a tough one!" Draco straightened his clothes, although they did not need it in the least. "Later, Potter, as we will probably meet up again in the future. We do have a knack for that sort of thing, don't we?" With that, he waltzed off down the hallway, leaving Harry to stare after him. Some miscellaneous ghost stuck her head out of the wall and whistled as he went by, and the blond just winked back.

Harry shook his head and continued on his way, thinking back to Malfoy's words. _Later, Potter, as we will probably meet up again in the future. We do have a knack for that sort of thing, don't we?_

He knew exactly what he meant. There had been one time, back during one of Harry's first missions, when he'd met up with Draco at a Death Eater gathering. The blond had (reluctantly) led Harry to safety and diverted the people who were after him, giving him enough time to escape. Several more events such as that one led Malfoy to join Dumbledore's Order. "I've already risked my neck for Potty and the side of Good," he'd mused, "so I might as well make it official."

Once Harry was outside of the wall that hid the entrance to Snape's lair (one stone a tiny shade darker than the rest surrounding it signaled that he was in the correct place), Harry tapped on it with the end of his wand. "Professor, it's Harry."

The wall slid back and admitted him into Snape's chambers. He was standing there in the entryway, a thick book in hand, with his usual scowl in place. "What do you want?"

"To talk."

Severus let out an exasperated sigh and motioned for Harry to follow him back to his study. "I had no idea that I was so popular, Potter. Draco was just down here to see me, although I must say your visit is more unexpected than his."

"Yeah, I, er, ran into him in the hall. He wanted to be your apprentice?" They went into the study where Snape sat behind his desk and Harry sat in front of it. He shifted nervously in his seat and folded his hands in his lap.

A smirk. "A sly one, he is, but I'm far more sly. I know what he really wants."

_Oh. My. God. _Harry blushed AGAIN. "Umm . . . what?"

"I've seen that gleam in his eye far too many times when he wants something, which, may I remind you, is all of the time."

"Are you going to let him? Be your apprentice, I mean?"

Severus looked thoughtful, as if he were really considering it. "I suppose, if only to teach him a much needed lesson. He has promise. He could be a great potion's master."

"I'm sure he could," Harry murmured.

"You wanted something, Potter?" When he got no reply, Severus glared. "Speak up, boy, I don't have all day."

"Oh, right!! Well, I . . . um . . . I came to ask you something. Something very important. Ahh . . ." Harry didn't want to burst out with, 'I wanna have your baby, so gimme your goods' or anything like that. No, this was a more _delicate_ situation, and therefore needed a much more _delicate_ approach. But how should he . . . what to _say_ . . . how to say it . . .

"Well, Potter? You've obviously got something on your mind because it's written all over your face. Go on and spit it out. What's so important?"

"Umm . . ." _C'mon, Harry, c'mon you can do it! Just say it, get it over with, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon . . ._

"Professor Snape, could I treat you to dinner tonight?"


	4. Chapter Four

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (04)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:** tobygirl2020@yahoo.com  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Drama  
**Keywords:** Slash Harry/Snape mpreg  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
**Author notes:** I am finally updating this on astronomy tower. Fanfiction.net deleted this fic from its site for no good reason, so, until I can get that corrected, I will post here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*~* Baby, Oh Baby! *~*

Chapter Four

"Dinner."

"Er . . . yes, dinner."

"You came here to ask me if I'd like to go out for . . . _dinner_."

A nervous, not to mention, fake cough. "That . . . IS what I said."

Severus could not, for the life of him, figure out if this was a joke or not. Out of the blue, Harry Potter, whom he'd not seen for a good six months, waltzes right into his private chambers and asks him out for dinner, as if they'd been good acquaintances or something. As suspicious as ever, Snape leaned over his desk. "What is the meaning of this, boy? I've no time for games."

"I . . . I just wanted to talk, Professor," replied Harry nervously, wishing that Snape wouldn't glare at him that way. "Honestly! It's been a while since we've last seen each other and . . ."

"And what?"

"I . . . well . . . can't somebody be _nice_ once and a while without having to get all defensive?" asked Harry quickly, pretending to be insulted.

Severus snickered. "No, not in _this _world. Now get out, I have work to do."

Harry wasn't about to let him get away that easily. As Snape stood up and walked around his desk, Harry jumped up and stood in his way, hands on his hips. "Come on, why not?"

Severus scowled. "Why should I? I _do_ get fed at Hogwarts, you know. After seven years here, I thought you would've known that."

Harry didn't reply, just stood his ground and raised his chin as if to say, _I won't move from this spot until you say yes!_

The potion's master sighed heavily and moved to the right. Harry just hopped in front of him, still blocking his way. Snape darted to the left, and Harry mirrored his movements. After a few rounds of that, Severus threw up his hands. "Must I hex you into oblivion, boy, to get you to move out of the way?!"

Harry grinned. "No need for that, Professor. Just go out to dinner with me, and that will be that."

" . . ."

"What's it going to take to get you to say yes? You can choose the place."

Glare. " . . ."

"Um . . . okay . . . well . . . how about this. I'll pay. How does that sound?"

Potter was going to pay? Hmm . . . " . . . Fine. Let's go."

Harry released a sigh. He'd expected Snape to pull out his wand or something, but was glad that it hadn't come to that. "Okay! Umm . . . let's . . . go!"

Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Hadn't he just _said_ that? Suddenly he had the feeling that it would be a very long night indeed.

*~*

So Severus Snape allowed himself to be dragged away to Hogsmeade by one Harry Potter, who, he'd noticed, seemed extremely uneasy about something or other, his mouth running about a mile and hour about this and that. Potter, he'd learned, had the habit of babbling when he was anxious. Severus suspected that it had to do with the _real_ reason the boy had stopped by. He hadn't bought the 'I-wanted-to-take-you-out-to-dinner' story one bit, simply because it didn't make a lick of sense. Potter had returned to Hogwarts just to see _him_? Not bloody likely.

Besides the offer to pay for the entire meal, Snape let himself be pulled along because he was curious, yes, curious. What did the boy want of him that could make him so nervous?

Harry took Snape to a new restaurant in Hogsmeade that had just opened a week ago. "I've been wanting to try this place out," said Harry as they made their way through the groups of people. "Ron told me that they've got great food."

They stopped outside of the restaurant, and Snape looked up at the sign hanging above his head and nearly groaned aloud. _It_ f_igures he'd take me here . . ._

It simply read- Dean's.

"Hope you don't mind, Professor," muttered Harry, "but I promised Dean that I'd make an appearance. Good for business and all."

"I can imagine . . ."

There was a waiting line outside the door but Harry, being who he was and all, just pushed to the front and was immediately led to a table by a man in dark red robes with gold trimming. It appeared that the rest of the staff was dressed in the same attire.

In fact, the tablecloths were exactly the same, the napkins dark red and the utensils gold. The chairs were also gold with red velvet cushions, and from there, it went on and on.

Well, at least no one could say that Dean Thomas wasn't a loyal Gryffindor.

"These colors are giving me a headache," grumbled Snape as he sat and stared at everything as if it were diseased.

Harry, however, was enjoying himself. Dean had himself a pretty fancy establishment, complete with a string quartet playing in a corner. _Looks like someone's rolling in the money! Good for Dean._

The war had been particularly hard on him. He'd lost his mother in a Death Eater attack back in their sixth year and had missed many months of school. When he finally returned, the Gryffindors rallied together to show him their support, just as they did for everyone else who'd somehow suffered during those tough times.

Dean practically galloped over to heir table and gave Harry a hearty grin, slapping him on the back. "You made it! Thanks man, I owe you one. This should get more people coming in, once word gets out."

"No problem! But by the looks of that line out there, you're gonna have your hands full!"

Dean beamed. "Yeah, no kidding! Anyway, order whatever you like, Harry, it's on the house! Your guest can . . . too . . . oh, umm . . . Professor Snape! What a nice . . . surprise . . ." He shot Harry a look and received a one shoulder shrug in response.

Snape poked at the fork by his side with a long, slim finger, then made a point of eyeing the red tablecloth. "Nice colors, Mr. Thomas," he said sarcastically. "Highly original."

"Umm . . . thanks? I think? Uh, nevermind. Enjoy and stop by again." He took off into the kitchens.

Harry gave Snape an evil look. "That wasn't nice."

"Since when have I been nice?"

" . . . good point."

A set of menus magically appeared before them and Harry quickly snatched his up and hid behind it. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, taking Snape to a public place to ask such an important question. What if things got nasty and he just . . . lost it? Well, then again, maybe Snape wouldn't try to kill him with so many witnesses around . . .

"You tricked me," Snape was saying, his eyes boring into his own menu.

Harry peeked around the side of his. "Wha . . . what?"

"I said, you tricked me. I came here on the pretenses that I could empty your wallet for dragging me away from the comforts of my dungeon, but you and your celebrity status seems to have won again."

"Serves you right," snickered Harry.

"Mmm. So, Potter, you wanted to ask me something, didn't you?" asked Severus. He folded up his menu and stared across the table.

"Er . . . actually . . ."

"Yes?"

" . . ."

Snape was growing impatient. "Well?"

" . . ."

He reached over and yanked away the menu that Harry was hiding behind. "That's better."

Harry squirmed in his seat. _I wish he'd stop looking at me like that. Like he's gonna swoop down and bite my head off. Which he probably will, once I ask him . . . _"Er, Professor, you see . . . I wanted to know if I could . . . I mean, if _you _could . . ."

Snape watched, slightly amused, as Harry became more and more flustered as the words left his mouth. He wasn't ashamed to say that he took pleasure in frightening people younger than him. Especially young Gryffindors. Snape leaned back in his chair and relaxed. "Yes?"

"Er, what I mean is, I need . . . no, that isn't right!" _Deep breaths, Harry, deep breaths . . . _Harry took a moment to fill his lungs with air. "What I want to know is-"

"Harry! What a nice surprise!"

Snape shot the newcomers a dark look. It was Oliver Wood, the Quidditch superstar, and Percy Weasley, who put in more hours at the Ministry than the Minister himself, his own father. _Just when the boy was about to break . . ._

Harry was almost relieved to see them. He would just have to put off the question asking until later. Maybe by then, he'd have his act together. "Percy, Oliver, hullo!" he said enthusiastically. "Just got here?"

Oliver nodded. "This place is great. Gotta love these colors!"

The three young men shared a laugh, until Snape loudly cleared his throat. "As much as I'd _love_ for this Gryffindor reunion to continue on in my presence, I'd like to order some food now. That _is _why we're here, right, Potter?"

Percy looked surprised, then glanced from Harry to Snape suspiciously. "Oh, hullo Professor. Haven't seen you in years." _And just what are you doing here with Harry?_

Snape just slid the menu in front of his face.

"Um, right," muttered Oliver before turning back to Harry. "Can we join you?"

"Ah . . . sure! The more the merrier!"

Magically, two more chairs appeared and the table grew a bit, allowing Oliver and Percy to sit down opposite each other. A waiter suddenly appeared at their side, and their drinks were quickly decided, but it took nearly ten minutes for them to place an order, mostly because Oliver was trying to stay with his diet regimen and couldn't seem to find anything fitting on the menu. In the end, Snape gave him a menacing glare, he ordered a salad and baked chicken, and that was that.

" . . . very demanding. I need to keep in shape, and that means I have to eat right," Oliver was saying to Harry, who appeared to be listening with great interest. He gave him a once over and continued, "You know, you look like you're fit. We could use a Seeker with your skills, Harry. I know you must miss playing."

Harry looked wistful. "Yeah, I do, but I don't think I could cut the early wake up calls and stuff. Too strenuous, if you ask me."

Percy leaned in. "Well, the Ministry could _certainly_ use someone like you. The place is still a mess, despite my dad's attempts to fix things. People would listen you, I'm sure."

Harry just laughed and shook his head. "Noooo! Office work is _definitely _not for me, but I'd like to help out with anything that you may need. Spokesperson, something like that."

"Well, then, what do you plan on doing for the rest of your miserable little days, boy?" questioned Snape. "Are you going to let your 'Boy-Who-Lived' title carry you through life?"

Percy and Oliver winced, then hesitantly looked at Harry. Surprisingly enough, he didn't seem to be that angry about what Snape had said.

"I really don't know. All of my friends are successful. Hermione's books are on the list for Hogwarts every year, Ron's working at the Ministry, Dean's got this place, Seamus has his night club, even _Malfoy_ has something- a Muggle clothing line."

"Really?" Oliver raised an eyebrow.

"Really! Then there's you two. Lavender, Padma and Parvati are singers, Neville is a leading herbologist, the twins have their joke shop, Ginny's line of hair and skin care products-"

"We get the point," grunted Snape and gulped down his glass of wine. Like he wanted to hear the Gryffindor Success Story over his dinner. Really, it was enough to make him gag.

"What I'm trying to say is," Harry continued, "everyone's seemed to have found their calling. I just don't know if I will."

Oliver gave Harry a sympathetic look. "You will. Don't worry about it. You've got time."

Harry smiled back. "Thanks."

Snape sneered in disgust. _Thank god_ his glass kept refilling magically. He downed more wine and glared at Oliver and Harry.

It was sick.

He didn't want to sit here and watch them _make_ _eyes _at each other all night. It didn't help that Weasley seemed to be pushing Wood's chair closer to Potter's, encouraging some sort of intimacy between them. _A Gryffindor love match being made in front of my eyes. Kill me now._

Eventually, Oliver swatted at Percy, making the red head back off.

Their food came, and (thankfully) conversation was scarce. Once their meal was over, Percy and Oliver made their excuses and left, but not before Wood gave Harry a 'friendly' hug goodbye. By that time, Snape was more than ready to go, and was glad when his eyes were finally free of the Gryffindor colors.

If the food hadn't been as good as it was, he would've considered the night a total waste.

Harry insisted on accompanying Snape back to his chambers. He realized that his two old friends had distracted him from the focus of the dinner. He_ still_ hadn't asked Snape yet . . .

They stopped outside of the wall with the lone odd colored stone. Snape waited for Harry to leave, but instead, he just stood there expectantly.

"Well, boy, if you're waiting for me to comment on the good time I had tonight, then you'll be out here for all eternity. That was the sorriest excuse for an outing that I've ever-"

"I'm sorry about Oliver and Percy," Harry said quickly. "I really had no idea they'd be there, and I couldn't just turn them away!"

Snape just scowled.

"Besides, what would YOU know about going out? I thought you were the dungeon monster," teased Harry lightly.

"I'm nearly twice your age. I think I should know more about things than you."

"Is that so? Well, why don't you treat me out tomorrow night?"

Severus shook his head and tapped his wand on certain stones and darted into his rooms when the wall pulled back. Harry followed after him, despite the glare that he received.

"_What_ on _earth_ do you _want_?" demanded Snape. "Don't you have a home to go to?"

"Come on! You can take me anywhere you want."

"Is that supposed to . . ." Wait a minute. Snape thought back to an article he'd read in the Daily Prophet not too long ago. A devious grin appeared on his face. Yes, this would be the perfect pay back for his hellish night. Mortification and humiliation was in store for the annoying little brat, and hopefully it would finally get him off his back. "Alright Potter, you've got a deal. Be outside the dungeons at six sharp."

Harry was suddenly very afraid. That look on Snape's face was not good, not good at all . . .

*~*

"You did, didn't you? You asked?"

Harry sighed into the phone and threw off his cloak and robes. "No, not exactly."

Ron snickered on the other end. "So you chickened out?"

The first thing Harry had done when he entered his house was phone for Hermione for advice. Unfortunately, she was resting, and Harry decided that she and her baby needed sleep more than he needed her wisdom. So instead he settled for Ron, who'd finally realized that he didn't have to scream into the phone to be heard.

"Well, I WAS gonna do it, but . . ." Harry plopped down on the couch and threw an arm over his face. "Then Percy and Oliver showed up and I got distracted. Or maybe I was just too afraid to ask."

" . . . Woah, hold on a second there. Percy was there with OLIVER? Isn't he YOUR man?"

"NO!! He's not my man, or whatever. I don't know why they were there together, or why they were there at all. But that's not the point. I-"

"Maybe Oliver heard that you were going to be there, and he decided to stop by. Probably ran into Percy along the way and wanted to be nice so he asked him to come along. I mean, we both know that Perce doesn't have a social life at all, so it was probably out of sympathy. Besides, I don't even know if Percy's interested in blokes, or, for that matter, interested in anything at _all_ because-"

"Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we get back to the topic here?"

"Oh, right! Sorry bout that."

"Uh huh. Anyway, since I failed to ask the big question tonight, I convinced Snape to take me out tomorrow night, so I'll have another chance then-"

"WHAT?! You're going out on a DATE with SNAPE?!"

"Not 'take me out' like that! You know what I mean."

Ron suppressed a laugh. "Whatever. So, where's he taking ya? I bet it'll be someplace nice. Herm thinks he's loaded, despite the fact that he doesn't seem to buy any shampoo."

Harry flipped over onto his stomach. "I don't know _where _we're going. But he had that nasty little gleam in his eye. You know, when he's about to do something particularly mean and evil?"

"Ohhh boy, do I know! We were on the receiving end of that look many times, remember?"

"Yeah. Makes me wonder what he has planned . . ."

*~*

Miles away, Remus Lupin was dreaming.

Dreaming of bottles and cribs, pacifiers and baby blankets, rocking chairs and giant stuffed teddy bears. Babies in white diapers danced back and forth in his mind, singing and humming cute little nursery rhymes in high-pitched voices. Eventually he woke and sat up, rubbing the side of his head with the back of his hand groggily.

He had to be loosing it. Dancing babies, baby voices singing, baby things swinging side to side to the rhythm of the songs . . .

Remus was officially obsessed.

He wanted a baby. He _needed_ a baby, or else he was afraid that he was going to loose his mind.

Too bad Sirius had skirted around his question about babies earlier that day, and make up some pathetic excuses to leave the room whenever he brought it up again.

_There wasn't any need for Sirius to act that way. All he has to do is sit and talk with me. If he doesn't want a baby, then fine, whatever, I'll deal. But I can't . . . not until I know what he thinks._

Was he afraid that they were too old to be parents, or that it would be hard on their child to have two fathers and no mother?

Secretly, Remus hoped that Harry got what he wanted from Snape, and had the baby that he was so determined to father. Maybe he could be the child's godfather.

That was probably as close to fatherhood as Remus was going to get.

Author's Note: Aww, poor Remus! Will he and Sirius ever work out their problems? Will Remus have his baby? Will Oliver ever ask Harry out? Is Harry gonna stop being a wimp and ask? Wait and find out!

Almost every Harry Potter story, I'm sure, deals with what Harry does after the war, after he leaves Hogwarts. Among SS/HP pairings, DADA teacher is the most popular choice. What do YOU think Harry should do? I've already got an idea, one that I don't think I've seen before. How about you? What do YOU think Harry should do?

**NEXT CHAPTER:** Snape takes Harry to Knockturn Alley. Where to exactly? You'll have to wait and see! Media sparks rumors and speculation, Sirius gets angry and Remus wants to take matters into his own hands . . .

Please review!! Send e-mails to _tobygirl2020@yahoo.com_ and if you want to be on the mailing list, leave your e-mail address in a review, or sign in. Thanks.


	5. Chapter Five

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (05)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:** tobygirl2020@yahoo.com  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Drama  
**Keywords:** Slash Harry/Snape mpreg  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
**Author notes:** I am finally updating this on astronomy tower. Fanfiction.net deleted this fic from its site for no good reason, so, until I can get that corrected, I will post here.  
Extra long chapter here! That's why it took me so long . . . anywho, thanks for the reviews, but I've got to get back to my other fic, the one I've been sorely neglecting for the past few weeks. What was once my little baby has turned into a real monster of a piece . . . gotta finish it, though!

I must say, I'm growing quite fond of _Baby, Oh Baby!_ though . . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*~* Baby, Oh Baby! *~*

Chapter Five

_Late Sunday Morning_

Ronald Weasley was curious.

Instead of working that day, he sat at his desk, twirling his quill around with his fingers while constantly peeking around the corners of his cubical to see if his brother Percy would just happen to walk by. A pile of paperwork that probably needed his immediate attention sat in the corner, untouched. [1]

The conversation he'd had with Harry the previous night was bugging him. He couldn't figure out why Percy had been at Dean's restaurant with Oliver the night Harry'd showed up there. Was it all a coincidence, or had it somehow been planned? Ron suspected the later.

"Ron, don't you have anything better to do than stare off into space all day?"

Ron jumped and dropped his quill. He spun around in his chair and grinned. Just the person he wanted to see. "Percy! Hi, what a nice surprise!"

The older Weasley gave his brother a disapproving look. Ron was up to something. He could tell by his tone of voice, and the fact that he never greeted him so enthusiastically. "Whatever, Ron. I don't have time for ga-"

"Hey, man, I've been meaning to ask you a question. Harry told me you were at Dean's place last night with Oliver. Somethin' going on with you two, huh?" Ron winked suggestively.

Percy turned pink, then yanked on the front of his robes and forced the blood out of his face. "Don't be silly, Ron. I don't go for guys, and everyone knows that Oliver fancies Harry."

He turned to walk away, but Ron grabbed the back of Percy's robes and pulled him back. "Get back here! So what, were you tryin' to set them up?"

An exasperated sigh. "YES, Ron! Are you happy now?" Percy tried to smack his brother's hand away.

"Well, how'd you know he was there?"

Percy looked around as if he were suspicious of something or other, then bent down to speak in a hushed tone. "Dean was in on it. I told him to contact me if Harry showed up. Unfortunately, he forgot to mention that he was there with Snape." He eyed his younger brother. "You know anything about that?"

Ron pretended to look innocent, which really didn't work. "Who, me? No way! I don't know squat."

"I know you do." He seemed to reconsider, then shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well, it shouldn't have anything to do with getting those two together."

Ron snickered. _Oh, yeah? Would Oliver still want Harry if he knew he wanted to have Snape's child? _"If you say so. But why are you in their business? You usually keep to yourself."

Once again, Percy turned red and began to look uncomfortable. He shifted his weight and glared. "Don't you have some work to do?" he demanded a bit harshly, nodding at the pile of papers.

Ron grinned. "Oh-ho-ho! What's going on? C'mon, you can tell me!"

"Ron, please . . ."

"No, really! Tell me!"

"No!"

"C'mon! You rarely tell me _anything_!"

"Fine! Okay, okay . . . a few months ago, Oliver . . . he . . . well . . ."

Ron leaned forward in his seat eagerly. "Yeah? Yeah?"

" . . . Oliver . . . hooked me up with his cousin, okay? Now back off . . ."

But Ron couldn't. He just couldn't. Percy hadn't been serious about a girl since that Clearwater chick back at Hogwarts. It was a miracle- Percy had another girlfriend.

Ron jumped up out of his seat and let out a cry. "Al_right_, Percy! You've got another girlfriend! What's this- number two?"

Percy winced. "Umm . . . not really . . ."

"What? You've had more? When? _Who?_"

" . . . she's not my girlfriend."

" . . . what?"

"She's not my girlfriend. She's . . . my fiancée." [2]

*~*

The ringing of a phone drew Harry out of his slumber. He groggily sat up and rubbed his face, grumbling underneath his breath about tele-marketers and their early morning calls. Harry leaned over and picked up the phone. "What do you want?"

"Harry! Harry, oh, thank goodness you're there!"

"Hermione? God, do you know what time it is? Why are you calling me so early?"

" . . . Harry, dear, it's one in the afternoon."

"Really?" He glanced over at his clock. "Oh, so it is."

"Whatever. Look, I need your help. The Weasley household is a proverbial mess! There's been some sort of emergency, no one will tell me what's going on, Ron _fainted _at work, people are running around all _over_ the place, I-"

"Wait . . . what? What happened?"

"I just said that _I don't know_!! Get up and please get over here!!"

Click! Hermione hung up.

Harry stared at the phone receiver, then slowly placed it down. The Weasley household in panic was not a pretty thing. He'd seen it before, when the twins, stole all of the Christmas presents on Christmas Eve from underneath the tree and claimed that they'd been vandalized in the middle of the night. Of course, it had all been a joke, but Mrs. Weasley had gone into a panicking frenzy, which cause everyone else to panic, which led a huge mess and hours of yelling and fussing . . .

Did he _really_ want to go over there?

Well, Hermione had said something about Ron _fainting_. Ron was his best friend. He should be over there, trying to see what was wrong, if he was sick or something. Although he really didn't know what Hermione thought HE could do . . .

"Ron, this had better be good . . ."

*~*

Harry Floo-ed over to the Weasely's after he quickly washed and dressed. Stepping out of the fireplace, his arm was immediately gripped by Hermione.

"You made it! It's about time!"

"Where's Ron? And where's this mess you were talking about?" demanded Harry, looking around. Everything seemed to be in perfect condition, nothing was broken or out of place . . .

But he _could _hear the sound of shouting voices coming from the backyard.

"They've moved it all outside. Apparently, Percy told Ron something _so _shocking that he passed out and hit his head on the edge of his desk while he was at work. He's out like a light, but he should be okay. THEN, Percy told his mother what he told Ron and now she's out too." She paused to take a deep breath, then continued with her tale. "Now Percy's refusing to tell anyone else what he's said, and so of course everyone's dying to know. He's climbed up a tree and is shooting hexes at anyone who comes too close. Someone's going to get hurt at this rate!"

Harry couldn't imagine what Percy could've said to get such a reaction from his youngest brother and his mother. Now even Harry was interested. _Hmm . . . I wonder what it could be._ "Okay, Hermione, you stay in here. Don't want the baby to get hurt or anything like that."

She nodded. "Be careful, and get him down from there!"

Harry darted outside and took in the scene. Just as Hermione had reported, Percy was up in a tree, shouting incoherently at the top of his lungs and waving around his wand like a madman, while the twins threw rocks and gnomes at him. Obviously, they thought the whole ordeal was amusing and weren't taking it very seriously. Mr. Weasley was inching closer and closer to the tree with his hands held high. Ginny was kneeling next to her mother, who lay in a dead faint on the ground, gawking up at Percy's unusual behavior.

It was clearly time for Harry to take charge. "Percy!" he called. "Percy, what are you doing?"

The twins flung one last gnome at their brother, then turned to look at him. "Aw, Harry," moaned George, "Don't take away our fun just yet!"

"Yeah! We were just getting started!" came from Fred.

Harry just ignored them and confidently walked closer to the tree, past Arthur. "Percy, I just want to come up and talk, okay? Can I come up and talk?"

He eyed Harry, then nodded, gesturing from him to come on up. "You're not family, so I guess it's alright," he called.

Harry levitated himself up to the branch on which Percy was perched and sat next to him. "Now, what's this all about, Percy? I never thought you'd go off like this."

The red head's shoulder's slumped. He covered his face with his hands and mumbled, "I told Ron that I'd become engaged to Oliver's cousin, and then I told Mom, and they both passed out. This is the EXACT reason why I didn't tell them sooner! I knew they wouldn't believe me, or over react, cause a scene . . . Is it _that _unbelievable that someone would want to marry me?!"

Harry blinked. " . . . uhh . . . not really . . . Well, congratulations!"

"Thanks. At least _someone _has had the decency to do so. And thank you for not passing out, too."

Harry nodded. Okay, so it was a shock, but he didn't see a reason to go hysterical. Maybe it was because he wasn't a Weasley or something. Yes, that had to be it. "Well . . . why don't you tell me more about her?" Harry asked gently.

Percy's face lit up. "Oh, she's _beautiful_! A blonde, nice shape, nice mind . . . oh, she's everything a guy could want! That is, if girl's were your thing, you know," he added on second thought.

"Uh huh."

"Well, she's a assistant for a medi-wizard who specializes in 'new age technology'. Now I hear her boss is giving two guys the chance to have their own children!"

"R-really? You . . . don't say?" Now this was weird! Percy's fiancée was working for the very man who Harry hoped would allow him to become a father! He thought back to the meetings he'd had with the medi-wizard, trying to remember if he'd seen an assistant . . .

He had! A blonde woman, tall and nice looking, a big smile, very friendly, just as Percy had described. He'd only spoken to her once, and she'd seemed very excited to have him in her office.

Talk about a coincidence!

"Her name is Karen, and I love her."

"That's . . . great! How long have you two known each other?"

Percy looked embarrassed. "We . . . er . . . dated for a month before we got engaged. We've been engaged for . . . six months now."

Harry did a double take. "S-six MONTHS?! And you're now just telling your family?!!"

"Well, why do you think I didn't want anyone to know?! Look at this mess! My brother's unconscious, my Mum's passed out, Dad's having a cow, the twins are trying to kill me with a gnome assault, and Hermione's so worried that she'll probably end up hurting herself and Ron's baby, and I'm stuck up a tree tossing curses at my family to keep them away!!"

Harry tried not to laugh. "Well, you've got a point! Look, why don't you just go down and talk to them? What's the worst they can do?"

Percy wrinkled his nose. "They'll be all over me. They'll ask questions . . ."

"They're your _family_. That's what they're supposed to do."

" . . . Right. You're right, I'm just acting crazy right now. Thanks for talking with me, Harry, I really appreciate how well you're taking this."

"Sure, no problem."

Percy looked Harry over and suddenly asked, "What are you doing tonight?"

"H-huh?"

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

_Professor Snape is taking me out. Right, I can't believe I almost forgot!_ "Actually, I am. Why?"

"Oh, no reason. No reason at all."

*~*

When Harry returned to his apartment about an hour after Percy came down from the tree, he hadn't expected to find Remus sitting on his couch, staring blankly at the floor. He looked _absolutely _awful. He had bags under his eyes, his hair was sticking up in places, and his robes hung off of one shoulder.

_Looks like I have another crisis on my hands . . ._ "Remus . . . what a wonderful surprise! What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you. It's very important," he said quickly, his eyes darting around the room.

Harry sat next to him and fixed his robes for him. "What about? Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes . . . no . . . I don't know!" Remus sighed exasperatedly. "Harry, I want to have a baby."

" . . ." _Oh, God, it must be catching!_

"Not just any baby, I want Sirius's baby. The problem is, he won't sit down and talk to me about it! And it's driving me crazy!" he exclaimed. "Do you want to know what I dreamt about last night? Dancing, singing babies!"

Harry laughed. "Really? And I thought I had it bad!"

"Exactly! I didn't get any sleep last night . . ." Remus covered his face with his hands and groaned. "I love Sirius, a lot, but I don't understand what's the problem here . . . If he'd just talk to me . . ."

Harry sighed and leaned back against the couch, eyeing Remus with sympathy. Of course Remus loved Harry's godfather. They were good together, Remus being the other half of Sirius, the (usually) calm and collected part. Those two needed each other like living things need air.

So what _was _the problem?

Harry wasn't quite sure, but one thing about their relationship bothered him. "Remus . . . why aren't you two married?"

Remus looked up. "Huh?"

"Married. Why haven't you two gotten married?"

" . . . that's a good question. I wish I could give you an answer."

"Sirius probably just fears commitment, like most guys," replied Harry wisely. "A baby would definitely mean commitment for him."

"What should I do?"

"You love him, he loves you, so ask him to marry you. Show him commitment isn't a bad thing . . . then maybe he'll sit down with you and talk about having a baby."

Remus considered for a moment, then nodded. "That sounds good. Thanks, Harry!"

"No problem."

Remus jumped up, now grinning and full of confidence. "I should get to work. There's a lot of planning to be done . . . Say, Harry, could you give me that doctor's location?"

"Sure." Harry dug out a scrap piece of paper and a pen and scribbled it down. "There you go. Good luck!"

Remus Floo-ed away, finally leaving Harry in peace. He walked into the kitchen and stuck his head in the refrigerator, searching for something quick and easy for his lunch. _What a day it has been,_ mused Harry as he pulled the makings of a sandwich from the fridge, _and_ _I haven't even gone out with Snape tonight! _He mentally winced. _Wait, that didn't sound right . . . Nevermind. I know what I mean._

Harry was still curious as to where Snape planned to take him.

_Well, whatever Snape has planned, I'm sure it can't be THAT bad._

_Can it?_

*~*

Ron, who'd finally awoken after his small shock, called just before Harry was off to Hogwarts to wish him good luck and a safe return from "the evil clutches of Severus Snape". Harry was secretly hoping for the same thing while he told Ron that there was nothing to worry about.

Harry was a little late getting to the dungeons (for some strange reason, he'd had trouble deciding what to wear . . .), but, after a few quick glances, he didn't see the potions master anywhere in the area. He sagged against the wall and let out a huge sigh of relief. _Thank god . . . I was afraid he'd chew me out for being late, but he can't do that if he's late himself!_

"You're ten minutes late, Potter."

Harry jumped and whirled around. Standing there in a dark corner was Snape, giving him a sly and evil grin. "Jeez, do you have to sneak around in the dark like that?! Oh, wait, I bet it's in your job description, isn't it?"

Snape stepped out into the light. "You, boy, should be more aware of your surroundings. Any half-wit could have seen me standing there. If I were-"

"I know, I know! If you were a Death Eater, I'd be deader than dead by now. No need for that age old lecture again, Professor."

"Really? Evidently, you have yet to learn the lesson-"

"So!" exclaimed Harry with fake enthusiasm. "Where on earth are we going? I've been dying to know!"

"Don't interrupt me again, you annoying little brat!" he snapped, feeling a headache coming on already. Why was he doing this again? Oh, yes, embarrassment and such. He'd have to keep that in mind if he hoped to get through the evening. "And we're going to Knockturn Alley."

"What? What for?"

"You'll see. Now come along before we're late."

Harry'd only been to Knockturn Alley twice- once by mistake, and the other with Hagrid to see to the delivery of some sort of protective beast for the Hogwarts lake after the legendary giant squid was found washed up on shore from causes unknown. Although the twins liked to _claim_ that they'd done something to it, no one really believed them.

_Well, the place hasn't changed a bit,_ thought Harry once they'd arrived. It was still dark and creepy looking, with the oddest shops he'd even had the misfortune of coming across. The cobblestone streets were narrow, which made it hard to weave in and out of the throngs of people walking back and forth. Harry had to struggle to keep up with Snape's long strides. Even at age twenty-one, he had no desire to get lost in the alley.

Harry had been following so close to Snape that when he stopped, Harry kept going and ran straight into him. Snape turned around and glared. "Mind paying more attention to where you're going?"

Harry fixed his glasses on his face. "Sorry about that. So we're here?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "What a brilliant assumption, Potter. Yes, we're here."

He hesitantly looked around and frowned. They seemed to be at some sort of theater, with bright lights and red carpets. Doormen stood at the end of the carpet, taking tickets from wizards and witches of all races dressed in their best robes. Large groups of people stood around, gawking, pointing, and taking pictures along with the press. _Wow . . . I didn't know that Knockturn Alley had a theater! I wonder . . ._

"What's playing?"asked Harry curiously. _To have so much publicity and such a large crowd, it must be good._

Snape grinned. "Look up, Potter. I'm sure you'll enjoy."

Harry was almost afraid to do so, but he slowly raised his eyes anyway.

"No . . . you didn't!!"

"Oh, I did."

Severus Snape had taken Harry to see a play titled 'The Life and Times of Harry Potter at Hogwarts: A Musical'.

Harry began to back up. "Ohhh, no, I'm not going in there! Imagine what would happen if people found out that I went to a play about myself!!"

Snape grabbed him by the back of his robes. "Oh, yes you are. You said anywhere, didn't you boy? You HAVE to go in. Besides, I had to con a LOT of people to get these damn tickets, with it being opening night and all."

"Although I find it _very_ flattering that you'd go through so much trouble for me, I can't-"

"Just keep your head down, cover your face, whatever."

"I don't . . . this is . . . _embarrassing_ . . ."

"It's supposed to be. Come on." Severus grabbed onto Harry's shoulders, pushed his head down and steered him forward, towards the door. Harry smacked his hands over his face and hoped that no one noticed.

They stopped at a doorman, who took their tickets. "Oy, sir, is your companion alright there?"

"He's just fine," said Snape smoothly, squeezing on Harry's shoulders. "The bright lights are hurting his sensitive eyes. Nothing to worry about."

" . . . Right. Enjoy the show."

Snape chuckled under his breath as he led them into the theater. Mission accomplished- the boy was embarrassed. "Having fun yet?" he asked.

Harry removed his hands and glared down at the floor. "No! Come on, let's just get to our seats. It should be darker in there."

Snape nodded and led the way to their seats way up in the balcony, latching onto the boy's shoulders and leading him up several flights of stairs. He was aware that Potter was muttering something under his breath, probably plotting some way to get revenge on him. Severus snickered. "Don't think that I don't know what you're mumbling about down there. I-"

Harry suddenly gasped and whirled around, running smack into Snape's front. "Ohmygod, ohmy_god_, I gotta hide, I gotta hide!" he hissed, waving his hands around crazily.

"What? What are you talking about, boy?"

He peeked a look over his shoulder. "No time to explain. I gotta . . ." Then Harry did the only thing he could think of. He yanked Snape's robes apart and darted beneath them, throwing his arms around the man's waist as the black fabric fell back around both of their bodies. _Oh, god, this is so . . . wrong!_ Harry thought, pressing his left cheek against Snape's chest._ But probably better than the alternative . . . yeah, definitely . . . would cause a . . . terrible scene and all . . . hey . . . he smells really good! Wait . . . what?_

If Snape weren't a master at controlling his emotions, his face would've been on fire at that moment. Harry Potter was pasted up against his body, hiding underneath the security of his robes, clutching at his waist. "Boy, what the _hell_ are you doing?! Have you _gone mad_?!"

"No! And stop talking to me, it'll look funny!" was his muffled reply.

At that, Snape's eye began to twitch. "And you underneath my robes like this _doesn't_?!"

"Whatever! Look, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are here. They'd recognize me even if I had my head down. Mrs. Weasley is like that!"

Snape looked around. Sure enough, the Weasley parents were there, and heading in his direction too. _Just great . . . _"You're right. Here they come," he muttered out of the side of his mouth.

Harry grabbed onto Snape tighter, not caring if he could breath or not. Just as long as he wasn't caught . . .

Snape forced a polite smile as the Minister and his wife stopped to speak to him. He could see their eyes running down to the rather large . . . bump in his robes. Severus grabbed the ends of it and pulled them closed, causing Harry to press even tighter to him.

Arthur Weasley gave Snape a smile. "Professor, what a surprise! I never thought I'd see you here!"

When Snape didn't immediately answer, Harry pinched his side. "Theater . . . has always . . . been a . . ." He paused as Harry shifted against him, " . . . a hobby . . ." Harry shifted again, and his hips bumped against Snape's. The older man forced back a groan and resisted the urge to smack the boy in the back of his head. " . . . a . . . a _hobby_ . . ." Harry then began poking at Snape in a secretive, rather sensitive part of his stomach, snickering softly the whole time while Snape began to shake with held back mirth. " . . . a hobby . . . ahh . . . what was I saying again?"

Molly gave her husband a look. "Umm . . . are you here with a date?" she gestured down to the moving body beneath his robes.

"Yes! Yes, I am. But, she's . . . very shy, you see, and quite busy right now."

Harry began chuckling softly. Busy? Busy?! He knew what any normal person would be thinking at the moment . . . _One would think he'd be a better liar than that . . ._

Arthur didn't want to know what she was 'busy' doing. He grabbed onto Molly's arm and pulled her along. "Have a good night, Professor." They quickly moved away, glancing back only to give him odd looks.

"They're gone," he muttered minutes later.

Harry came out of his hiding place and began laughing. "Busy? Professor, what a dirty mind you have!"

"You were the one who was jabbing at me," he snapped angrily. "It was all your fault. And I thought I told you never to touch me there EVER again!"

Harry knew he was referring to his ticklish spot, which he'd found on accident one night while trying to figure out the extent of Snape's injuries after another rough mission. He'd struggled to get Snape to cooperate and had been forced to drug him a bit to get him to settle down, then began prodding at his side to see if it hurt or not.

Harry had poked and poked until he reached on particular spot. Once he poked there, Snape began snickering and quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. He'd poked again, this time receiving a full-blown _giggle_. Needless to say, he'd had some fun that night before Madam Pomfrey had finally come along and shooed him away.

Harry chuckled. "I couldn't resist. Sorry."

Snape gave him a withering glare. "Let's go, boy."

When they finally reached their seats, Harry was happy to see that it was indeed dark in the theater. He noticed that every seat in the house was filled. _I guess it makes sense. After all, it IS about ME._

A few minutes after they'd sat down, the lights dimmed completely and everyone went quiet. Harry slumped down in his chair and waited for it to start.

It began all right, with Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid dropping him off at the Dursely's and went on to describe his life in the cupboard. Harry vaguely wondered how the playwright, whoever he or she was, had found out the information. He sure hadn't told the public about his childhood, and he really didn't think any of his friends would give out anything like that.

Then the singing and dancing began, and Harry was _not_ amused.

Could anyone say sappy? Cheesy? CORNY?!

When a few older women next to him began crying into colorful handkerchiefs at a particularly 'heart-wrenching' song being belted out by the play-Harry, the real Boy Who Lived sank down even further in his chair and groaned, much to the amusement of Snape.

The play didn't end quick enough for Harry, although he was glad that most of the dealings with Voldemort were left out, for the audience's sake, no doubt. The playwright stuck close to the social aspects of his seven years at the school, which led Harry to believe that the mystery writer had been a student at Hogwarts, most likely in his same year.

When he found this person and hunted him down . . . there would be hell to pay!

As the final song was sung, and the lights came back on, Harry grumbled to Snape, "I'm gonna sue! No one asked for my permission to make that terrible excuse of a play! They must've violated _some _sort of wizard law . . ."

Snape snickered almost happily. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Let's try to beat the crowds, shall we?"

Harry once again lowered his head, and Snape began guiding him through the lingering groups of theater patrons and down the stairs, onto the main floor. When they were less than ten feet from the door, and it LOOKED as if they were free and clear, Harry suddenly tripped and fell flat on his face, nearly taking an unsuspecting Severus and a few other bystanders with him.

Several kind witches and wizards leaned down to help him up, and then someone screamed,

"BLOODY HELL!! YOU'RE HARRY POTTER!!!!!"

Snape yanked Harry up by the back of his robes and set him on his feet. Cameras began clicking and flashing and people began closing in. Keeping a firm grasp on Harry's robes, Severus shoved the people aside and took off out of the theater, ducking into a crowded, smoky pub. They quickly went all to the very back of the place, and waiting to see if anyone had followed.

When no one came after them, Snape whirled on Harry. "Brilliant move, Potter! Now our faces will be all over the papers in the morning!"

Harry rubbed the side of his face that had hit the floor and glared. "Well, Professor, if you hadn't _stepped on the back of my robes_, then-"

"If you'd walked a _little_ faster-"

"If you hadn't been _pushing _me so _fast_ and _hard-_"

"If you weren't so _clumsy_ and _uncoordinated_-"

"If YOU hadn't taken me to there _in the first place_-"

"If YOU hadn't baited me into coming on _another_ date with you-"

"This isn't a date!! And you could've said NO! You're a fully grown man, you know!"

Snape sneered. "It's nice that you've noticed."

Harry blushed. "I didn't mean it THAT way!"

"Oh, didn't you? You were the one who hid under my robes, then started touching me in inappropriate places and _rubbing _yourself against-"

"I was not!" cried Harry, shocked and embarrassed. "I was nervous!"

Severus threw his hands up and growled. "I can't believe I'm standing here bickering with you like some child about things that cannot be changed! What we _should_ be worrying about is what will be in the papers tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

The older man glared and sat down at the bar. Harry plopped down on the stool next to him and attempted to cover his scar with his hair, brushing his dark strands this way and that until it was in the perfect position. Snape rolled his eyes at his display and continued. "What I _mean_, Potter, is that they're going to assume that we were there together."

"But we were."

"Don't be so obtuse. I mean, there together as in a _date_."

"Which it most certainly was not!"

"Yes, we've covered that already." Severus glared again at Harry's seemingly innocent expression. "Don't tell me you didn't notice the . . . disgusting little hints dropped throughout that infernal play?"

Harry shook his head and frowned. "Actually, I was trying NOT to pay attention. I was too busy trying to become one with the seat to notice anything else. Hints about what?"

"The two of us, of course."

" . . ."

"You are the most infuriating . . ." A deep intake of breath and a quick release. "Pay attention! Whomever this playwright is kept insinuating that we had more than a teacher-student relationship going on during your last years at Hogwarts."

Blink, blink. Blink. " . . . really? Well, that's bloody-"

"Ridiculous?"

Harry snorted. "Took the word right out of my mouth. It's so absurd that it's funny!"

"Well, har, har."

"Wait . . . so you don't know who wrote that thing?"

Snape shook his head. "No. The person chose to remain anonymous. It was right there on the ticket."

"HAD to have been an inside job," muttered Harry thoughtfully. Who else would've known every detail like that? Certainly not an outsider.

"You make it sound as if this is all some sort of conspiracy," Snape said, giving Harry a Look.

"Well, it could be for all we know!"

"Whoever wrote the play isn't important right now. The papers-"

Harry nodded understandingly. "Will be all over the story. Well, we can't do anything about that either, so now . . ."

Snape scowled but didn't reply.

"Is that it? The end to my _wonderful_ evening?" asked Harry sarcastically.

"Actually, I could use a drink. Something stronger than what this place carries." Severus then seemed to reconsider. He got off of his stood and towered over Harry. "You can return to wherever it is that you came from now. I don't need you to come along with me."

"Aww, why not? I could use a drink, too!"

Snape looked skeptical. "Can you hold your liquor, boy?"

"Of course I can! What do you think I am, some sort of sissy?"

*~*

After three glasses of wine, Harry was drunk.

Snape watched out of amusement as the younger man struggled to keep his head from slipping out of his palms and striking the table while he downed another glass of wine.

"Snape, this stuff's bloody good," he muttered, picking up the wineglass and peering at the label on the bottle. He squinted, tilted his head to he side, then giggled. "Too bad I can't read right now, or else I'd remember the name of this stuff!"

Snape sipped on this own beverage and leaned back in the wooden chair in which he sat. Obviously the boy had lied about being able to drink -he was already plastered out of his mind. _I suspect that he's never had anything other than Butterbeer in his life. How pathetic._

"And this _place_," continued Harry in a daze, looking around with wide eyes, "this place is COOL! Weird, but it's COOL!" Harry giggled again as a male elf, scantily dressed in what Muggles liked to call hot pants, walked by with a tray and patted him on the head.

They were in some sort of dance club, where the waiters and dancers were attractive male and female elves who, every so often, pulled particularly lonely looking, drunk wizards out onto the dance floor and began grinding against them to the beat of some techno music. No doubt trying to steal the poor, unsuspecting wizard's money, Snape suspected.

Severus only frequented the establishment for their beverages when he was in the need of something strong and did his best to ignore the pretty magical beings who flaunted themselves around the place. One sharp glare usually did away with any advances that he received, although they were few and far between.

_I can't believe I'm sitting in a place like this with Potter,_ Snape thought in mild disgust, glaring at the younger boy as he gawked at more male elves as they walked by. _At least there's a plus side to this. If he's drunk out of his mind, I'm sure he'll have no difficulty asking me whatever it was he started to the other night._

Before Snape could open his mouth, four male elves with insanely long, shiny hair grabbed onto Harry's arms and began pulling him out of his seat and over to the dance floor, giggling and laughing in their strange magical voices.

"Look, Snape," exclaimed Harry, "they want to dance with me! How nice!"

Snape sighed warily and set down his cup. It was apparent that he was going to have to take control of the situation. Getting to his feet, he said firmly, "He'll not be dancing tonight, so go bother someone else."

They pouted and reluctantly let go of Harry's arms, each pausing to give him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. Harry groaned quite loudly. "Aw, Snape, they just wanted to have some fun! You always have to go spoil everything."

Severus took hold of Harry's arms and muttered, "You'll thank me in the morning when you find your purse as full as it was before you left home. Let's go, you're wasted."

Snape dragged Harry over to the entrance where a fireplace, connected to the Floo network, was located while feigning off elves as they tried to flirt with an ever so willing Harry. He couldn't understand why they just kept _coming_ and _coming_. Was it because he was THE Harry Potter, or was there something about the boy that he'd missed . . .?

Snape snorted, looking down at the boy as he stumbled over his own two feet and laughed. _Not likely. He's about as attractive as a . . . as a . . ._

At the moment, with that goofy grin on his face, his hair sticking up more than usual and the drunken gleam in his eye, Harry looked almost . . . enchanting?

Elves were well known for being attracted to beautiful people, both inside and out. Maybe Harry was . . .?

Snape shivered in disgust and quickened his pace. Ridiculous! Stupid, stupid, stupid . . . Harry Potter did not look enchanting and was _not _beautiful, and most certainly not while he was drunk. NO one looked enchanting and beautiful while they were drunk.

He stopped before the fireplace, grabbed some Floo powder and tossed it into the bright flames. "Harry Potter's residence!"

The fire flickered, but nothing happened.

Harry snickered and leaned against Snape's side, grabbing onto his arm tightly. "Silly Snape, I'm not stupid! There's a _spell_ protecting my fireplace. Not just anyone can waltz right in, ya know."

"Are you competent enough to get yourself home, Potter?" demanded Snape, trying futilely to yank himself out of the young man's grasp.

Harry didn't answer, but suddenly clutched at his stomach with one hand and his head with the other. "Uhh . . . I don't feel so good . . . think I'm gonna hurl . . ."

But instead of throwing up, he passed out, right into Severus's arms.

*~*

The only thing Harry was aware of the next morning was his splitting headache. He moaned loudly and rolled over onto his side, clutching at his forehead. What in the world was wrong with him?

Oh, yeah . . . he'd gotten drunk. For the first time in his life, he'd gotten drunk.

And with his old potions master, of all people.

_Oh, the horrors . . ._ _God, my life is pathetic._

Harry grabbed the pillow from underneath his head and began strangling himself with it. He could only imagine what had happened that night. Snape had probably taken advantage of the situation, luring a drunken Harry to his dungeons and trying out new potions on him as if he were some sort of guinea pig. He was afraid to open his eyes. Would he have an extra ear somewhere? Would he be missing a few fingers, have hair growing out of the most obscene places on his body . . .?

Harry told himself that he was being silly, and that it was the hangover talking. Snape wouldn't do anything like that. He wasn't a monster . . . right?

He lifted the pillow from his face and took in a deep breath.

Wait, what was that smell? It was slightly familiar . . .

Suddenly Harry came to a realization- he wasn't in his apartment, wasn't in his own bed, he hadn't been strangling himself with his own pillow . . .

**Then where the hell was he?!**

Harry quickly opened his eyes, only to shut them again. "Damn . . . why are the lights so bright?"

"The lights are never bright in the dungeon, boy. You should know that."

_Who?_ thought Harry. _Snape?!_

Now he knew why the smell was so familiar! He'd inhaled the scent when he'd ducked under Snape's . . . robes . . . Suddenly Harry turned bright red. _Can't believe I DID that! I'm such an idiot!_

"Drink this," commanded Snape, pressing a vial full of clear liquid up to Harry's lips. "It'll make you feel better."

He anxiously gulped down the fluid and, almost instantly, most of the symptoms of his hangover were gone. Harry opened his eyes and a fuzzy image of Severus Snape leaning over him came into view. "Er . . . morning there Professor."

Satisfied that his potion had done its job, Snape got off the bed and leaned against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Actually, it's noon, Potter. Lunch time."

"NOON?! WHAT?!"

"You passed out at the club last night, and I was forced to bring you here. Unfortunately, I did not have a hangover remedy on hand, so I had to brew one during my lunch break . . . which is almost over, may I remind you."

Harry leapt up off of the bed and grabbed his robes that sat folded on the edged of the bed. He jabbed his arms into their appropriate holes while forcing his shoes onto his feet. "Thanks, I'll repay you later. Sorry about that!"

Snape eyed him with little interest. "What's your rush, boy?"

"I'm sure Sirius or Ron is worried about me. I didn't check in with either of them last night . . ."

"I didn't know they were your keepers."

Harry glared. "They worry about me, especially since I brought up . . ." He winced. _Oops! I STILL haven't asked . . ._

"Brought up what?"

Harry dashed out of the room, heading over to Snape's fireplace. "I'll tell you on Saturday when I take you out again!" he called over his shoulder as he grabbed some Floo powder.

Snape gapped. " . . . WHAT?! No, no you don't, we're _not_ making a habit of this, do you hear me?! Potter? POTTER?!!"

He was already gone.

*~*

Harry barely had his foot out of the fireplace when Sirius roared, "HARRY JAMES POTTER, WHERE THE **HELL** HAVE YOU BEEN?!!"

Sirius had stopped by Harry's apartment than Monday morning to speak to him about the front-page article in the paper, and had been very surprised to see that he wasn't there. Never before had Harry _not_ returned home after going out at night, so Sirius had immediately expected the worst.

That Severus Snape had blasted his godson into tiny pieces.

But Harry was just fine, coming out of the fireplace, looking _extremely_ unkempt, face flushed and hair sticking up all over the place. Not to mention that his clothes were horribly mussed and wrinkled.

Remus, who'd decided to accompany his lover, grinned. "Harry! You look as if you just came back from a much needed shagging."

Harry laughed weakly. "Well . . ."

Sirius frowned. "Don't encourage him, Remus! And you, Harry, I can't believe you went out and slept with some guy-"

"I didn't! Jeez, can I get _sit down_ before you ask me a million questions?" Harry plopped down on his couch. He threw an arm over his face and sighed. "Ah, that's better."

"Where were you then, Harry?" questioned his godfather angrily.

" . . . at Snape's," Harry replied truthfully. What else could he say? He was no good at lying to Sirius.

"Bastard!" cried Sirius at the top of his lungs as he waved around the crumpled bit of newspaper he held in his tightened fist. "That BASTARD!! I-"

"Not so loud," whimpered Harry weakly. "I've still got a killer headache, despite that hangover potion Snape gave me . . ."

Whoops. Judging by the looks on Remus and Sirius's faces, that probably wasn't the best thing to say . . .

Remus held Sirius back before he lunged at Harry. "Explain yourself! Explain RIGHT NOW!!" he bellowed.

"I got a little tipsy last night, that's all. No need to go off the deep end . . ."

"That Snape is a dirty pedophile, Harry! I read the article in the morning paper. It says that you two were out on a date last night, at some play together and that you and Snape had a fling while at Hogwarts."

"First of all, Sirius, for him to be a pedophile, I would have to be a child, which I am not. Second of all," continued Harry, "it was not a date, just a . . . friendly outing and third, there was no 'fling'. Some person wrote a silly little play about me and HINTED that something more might have occurred between him and me because of our missions. That's all."

Remus felt Sirius relaxing in his grip and let him go. "I believe you, Harry. I take it you intended to ask Snape your question last night, but-"

"Things got a little out of hand. But I've got another chance. We're going out again on Saturday, my treat."

"I don't know what's gotten into you, Harry," moaned Sirius. "You're getting drunk, hanging around with lowlifes like Snape, and you want to have his baby . . . I . . . can't help but feel that I've failed you in some way." He sniffled pathetically.

Harry rolled his eyes and gave his godfather a disbelieving look. "Oh, no you don't! Don't go trying to make me feel guilty! It won't work."

Sirius threw up his arms in the defeat. "Well, hell! What am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Now if you two don't mind, I'd _like_ to get some rest. Please?"

The two reluctantly left, but not before Sirius thoroughly chewed him out for getting drunk the night before, and with Snape, of all people. Harry trudged into his bedroom and flopped face down on his bed, kicking off his shoes and tossing aside his robes. Not bothering to take off the rest of his clothes, Harry snuggled beneath a thick fuzzy blanket and closed his eyes tight.

It took Harry a while longer to fall asleep than it usually did.

Where was Snape's soothing scent when you needed it?

Author's Note: Expect about one more chapter before Harry pops the big question. I won't make you wait much longer, I promise! Also, I'll let you know who wrote the play about Harry later, although I think it's pretty obvious.

[1] Let's say that Ron and Percy work in the mornings on Sundays. J

[2] Er, I hadn't planned the Percy thing, but let's see where it'll take us, okay?

_NEXT CHAPTER:_ A week passes and Harry treats Snape to another night out, showing him the 'finer' points of Muggle society. Draco gets suspicious, Oliver is catching on and . . . what? Harry's fallen in love?!


	6. Chapter Six

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (06)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:** tobygirl2020@yahoo.com  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Drama  
**Keywords:** Slash Harry/Snape mpreg  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.   
**Author notes:** I am finally updating this on astronomy tower. Fanfiction.net deleted this fic from its site for no good reason, so, until I can get that corrected, I will post here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**H**arry found himself thinking of Snape during the majority of his Monday, and during the weirdest times and in some very inappropriate ways and places. Stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his body drew back memories of being enveloped in the potion master's robes from the night before. As he pulled on a shirt and brushed a piece of lint off his shoulder, he remembered the feel of Snape's hands on his shoulders and the heat they'd brought. Harry shivered and quickly finished dressing.

Harry went into the living room and began to (reluctantly) clean up his apartment. Empty mugs went into the sink for cleaning later, sheets of paper and magazines were picked up and either tossed or set on the coffee table neatly. Shoes and other articles of clothing were dumped back in his room, which he'd also have to straighten later.

As he went to pull his vacuum cleaner from the closet, he mused, _Now why can't my place stay clean like Snape's?_

Harry sprinkled some carpet freshener on the floor and began to vacuum. The floral scent he'd grabbed was assaulting his nose, causing him to sneeze loudly every now and then. The way the substance was irritating his senses made him, for some reason, think back to Snape's pleasant, soothing scent.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!" he shouted, abandoning the vacuum. "Why can't I stop thinking about him?"

_I need to get out . . . that's right, get out . . . I'll go grocery shopping. A nice walk should clear my head._

Harry grabbed his wallet and left his apartment, heading for the small grocery on the corner. It was owned by an old witch from one of the southern sates of America who kept only her six black cats as company. She'd never been too impressed that he was _The_ Harry Potter- one reason why he liked to visit her shop.

Besides the fact that everything was so fresh, of course.

When he walked into the store, the old woman suddenly appeared out of no where and promptly welcomed him before leaving him to shop. She went to stand behind the counter, and he was sure that she was watching his every move with her beady little eyes.

This made it a little hard to shop, but Harry filled his basket with the things he needed and placed his items on the counter. The woman began ringing up his goods while Harry stuffed them into some brown paper bags, just as they did every time he visited her store.

"Nice day, isn't it?" she murmured, glancing past Harry's shoulder hesitantly.

"I guess . . ." What was she looking at? He was tempted to run around and look, but . . .

She ran a box of rice over the scanner several times, totally missing the bar code on the side. "Saw you in the paper this mornin' . . ."

He blushed. "Right."

Suddenly the old woman ducked behind the counter and came back up with several boxes on condoms, placing them before Harry. He turned even redder. "I . . . don't think I'll be needing any of those . . ." he replied softly.

She grabbed his collar and pulled his face very close to the boxes, then bent over so that she was at eye level with him. The old lady picked up a box and turned it over to the back. "Someone's followin' you, boy."

Harry froze. "What?"

The old lady proceeded to talk out a few foil packets with a smile on her face. "Don't look so unhappy, boy! There's nothin' to be ashamed 'bout! Better safe sex than no sex, I always say!" she said quite loudly. "Let me tell you how ta use 'em!"

Harry choked but forced a grin. "Uh huh. Now, about someone following me?"

"Some man came in after you . . ." She slowly opened a packet. "Followed you 'round the store, pretendin' to be readin' a magazine, but looking at you the whole time." She pulled out the rubber and stretched it over her fingers. "Bet he's going to leave when you do."

_Shit . . . Why didn't I pick that up?_ A chill raced down Harry's spine. NOW he could feel the guy looking at him. _Snape would have my head if he knew . . ._

"There are some other fun things you can do with these!" The old lady blew it up like a balloon. "Besta watch yer back, sonny," she whispered before tossing the blow up rubber to one of her cats lying out on the floor. "He don't look too nice."

The old woman dropped two boxes of condoms into his bag before ringing up the rest of his things. "Those babies are on the house. Now run along." They shared a meaningful glance before Harry scooped up his bags and left the store quickly, barely catching a glimpse of the mysterious man. His face was hidden behind a beard and big sunglasses, his hair covered with a hat.

So much for being able to recognize him.

As he headed for his apartment, he was sure that the man was still following him. Harry was so preoccupied with his stalker that he ran head on into someone. A bag tumbled out of his arms and fell to the ground.

"Sorry, I wasn't watching . . ." he mumbled, scrambling for his things. Was the man still behind him? He had to get going- and fast.

"Harry! I was just looking for you!"

"Oliver?" Harry had never been so happy to see him. He let out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank god . . ."

Oliver began snickering as he picked something up off the ground. "Harry? Is there something I should know about?"

Harry picked up the fallen bag. "What are you . . . oh . . ."

In his hand, Oliver held the box of condoms. Harry flushed with embarrassment. "Umm . . . well, you see . . . I can explain . . ."

"What's this? Already open?" Oliver gave him a sly look. "Well, well, well! Harry, you hussy!"

Harry snatched the box away and shoved it into the bag, raising his chin and walking off, knowing that Oliver would follow. "It's not what you think. Really, it's not!"

The Quidditch player took a bag out of Harry's arms and walked along side of him. "Uh huh." Suddenly Oliver frowned. "I saw that article. You wouldn't happen to have another hot date with Snape tonight, would you? Harry, if you're thinking about sleeping with him, I must object!"

"I'm not going to sleep with anyone, okay?" Harry hissed underneath his breath. "And there was no hot date between me and Snape! I've a favor I need to ask of him, that's all. And besides, why do you care if I go shag someone or not?"

" . . ."

"Well?"

" . . . because I just do, okay?! Damn it Harry, NO ONE should loose their virginity to that man-"

"Woah, what makes you think I'm a virgin?"

Oliver blushed. "I just know. You're not the kind of person to have a fling, Harry. I . . . like that about you."

"Whatever."

"Well . . . are you, or are you not?"

"This is NOT a conversation to be having on the sidewalk!" He walked faster until they reached his apartment. Harry unlocked the door and quickly put them back as Oliver stepped in behind him. They went into the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter.

"Okay, we're not on the sidewalk anymore," Oliver said quickly. "Will you tell me now?"

"I don't see why you need to know. I mean, really . . ."

"Oh, I see. So you haven't lost it yet."

"I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to," replied the older man smugly. "It was all in your tone. I can't believe it! At age twenty-one, the great Harry Potter hasn't gone to bed with anyone yet! Amazing!"

Harry scowled and plopped down at his kitchen table. "Shut up, will ya? I don't want the whole world to know!"

"Why haven't you done it yet?"

Sigh. "Would you believe me if I said that I was waiting for the right person to come along?"

Oliver sat next to Harry, wearing a serious expression on his face. "Actually, I do. Like I said, you're just that type of person."

"A goody-goody, right?" he replied sarcastically.

"What's wrong with that? Now that I think about it, I wish I had waited. Really, Harry, it's good that you're doing so."

Harry heard the sincerity in Oliver's voice and smiled. "So, you said you were looking for me . . .?"

"Yeah I was!" He reached into his pocket and drew out two tickets. "These are for the game on Saturday, the biggest of the season. I thought you'd be interested."

Harry eagerly snatched them up and grinned. "Interested? You BET! Thanks!"

"No problem. There are two, so you can invite someone . . . if you want, of course . . ."

_Hmm . . . kinda sounds like he doesn't want me to . . . wait! Snape! I said I'd take him out that day. There ARE two, so . . . there's no problem._ "I'll bring Professor Snape."

"Harry!" cried Oliver. "You shouldn't be seeing him!"

"I'm not _seeing_ him. Look, can we talk about something else?"

"Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

Harry looked around. "Dunno."

" . . . you seemed kinda anxious when I ran into you. What was up? Was it because you had all of those condoms?"

He chuckled. "No . . . look, maybe I should tell you this . . ." Harry hesitated. "I was being followed."

"WHAT?! Harry-"

"Did you see a guy with really big shades, a beard and a black hat on behind me?" questioned Harry quickly.

" . . . yeah!"

"Well, that was him."

"Damn it Harry, you shouldn't be here alone."

"I know . . . so how long can you stay?"

*~*

For the rest of the week, Oliver dropped by in between Quidditch practices, interviews and photo shoots to keep Harry company. There were no more stalking incidences or anything else like that, however, since Oliver starting coming around frequently. Maybe the old woman had just been imagining things. After all, she must've been quite lonely, not to mention bored, with only her cats . . .

Even though there hadn't been an ounce of suspicious activity, Harry still had his cell and home phone number changed, partly due to Oliver's insistence.

Beside all of that, it was the strangest thing . . .

He couldn't seem to keep his thoughts off of Snape, whether Oliver was there to keep him busy or not. He surprisingly found that he was quite anxious to see him again. After all, their dates- er . . . _outings_- hadn't been that bad. Thinking back, they'd actually been . . . fun. And 'fun', by any means, _wasn't_ a word usually associated with Snape.

Harry enjoyed his sarcastic, witty comebacks more than he thought he should. It was so much _fun_ (there was that word again) to argue with him. Something about his age intrigued Harry too. He seemed so wise about some things, just as wise as Dumbledore. And Harry was sure that he could con _any_ woman into giving up her lifetime savings just by using that _voice_ . . .

The more he thought about it, the thought of being attracted to his old potions teacher didn't seem to be all that hideous. In fact, Severus Snape just happened to be the type of man that Harry was looking for.

Harry wasn't stupid though. He didn't think that there was any way in hell that he'd have a chance with Snape. The older man would probably slap him into the next century if he found out . . .

So as Saturday finally came, Harry stood in nothing but his boxers in front of his closet, trying to find something to wear for the 'outing'. He'd decided to take Snape to see some highlights of Muggle living, so jeans would be fitting.

He dressed in some rather snug jeans and a red shirt and grabbed his robes, remembering that they would watch the Quidditch game first.

Minutes later, Harry was standing outside of Snape's chambers, playing with a loose string hanging from his robes. Before he could even knock, the wall slid back and Snape waltzed past him and out into the hallway, dressed in his impressive dark robes that engulfed his body.

"I hope you have Muggle clothes under there," Harry said, eyeing him up and down.

"Of course I do." Severus lifted up one side of his robes to reveal a denim-clad leg. "Now, where are we going?"

"To see some Quidditch. Oliver invited me," replied Harry as they began to walk.

Snape sneered. "Quidditch? These infernal Muggle pants aren't needed for that."

"I know. The rest is a surprise. You'll have fun, I promise."

"I don't have _fun_."

" . . . that's right. I forgot."

*~*

The Quidditch stadium was overflowing with anxious fans of all ages, ready to see the match of the season. Harry and Severus found that they had two of the best seats in the house, located in a section reserved for special guests (or those with enough money to purchase them). Harry was a little shocked, although he figured that he shouldn't have been, to see Malfoy there, sitting not too far them, Omnioculars in his hand.

Harry sank down and turned his back slightly. _Maybe he won't recognize me . . ._

Suddenly Oliver whizzed by on his broom, then circled around and hovered a little distance from his fellow Gryffindor. With one hand he waved and shouted loudly, "Oi, Harry! There you are!!"

"_Oliver!!"_ hissed Harry slightly ducking down.

Too late. Draco had already spotted them. The blond stood quickly straightened his hair and clothes, then sat in the empty seat next to Snape. "What a surprise, Professor! I didn't expect to find you here!"

Snape's eyes followed Harry as he stood and went to lean over the railing to speak with Wood. He noticed the way the older Gryffindor's eyes kept running up and down Harry's figure as they spoke and snarled in disgust. Was Potter that dense? Did he not notice the looks? It appeared so . . . "The boy dragged me along."

"Is that so?" murmured Draco curiously. _Does Potter really have that kind of control over him already? I see the way Severus is looking at him . . . maybe there WAS something to that article! Potter, you no good, lying, scheming Gryffindor! I saw him first!_ He glared at Harry's back furiously.

A few minutes later, Harry left Oliver so that he could join his team in the locker room before the match began and returned to his seat. The glares that he received from the two Slytherins confused him. "What?"

Draco leaned over Snape's lap, slapping his hands on the older man's thighs and hissed, "I'm on to you, Potter! You think you're so smart!"

Harry also leaned forward to peer around the Potions master, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "I have NO idea what you're talking about, Malfoy! Go back to your seat- you're already annoying me."

"Some Gryffindor _you_ claim to be. What is this, some twisted, weak plot of revenge for those years at Hogwarts? You went behind my back, arranging this and that with him! You knew I that I saw him first, you . . . you . . ."

"You _what_?" murmured Harry dangerously. "Sod off, Malfoy, before I throw you over the railing!"

By now, Draco was practically climbing into Snape's lap to get to Harry. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!" he snarled, face flushed with anger.

Harry's hands darted out for Draco's throat, but were quickly slapped away by Snape. He pushed the blond back into his own chair and stood up, facing the two younger men. While he found it quite . . . _nice_ to have two younger people arguing over whom would get to keep his company, he DID have an image to keep up. The looks they were attracting were most certainly NOT good. "If you two could please CONTROL yourselves in PUBLIC?! Or do you not know the meaning of the word, hmm?"

"He started it!" cried both of them at the same time.

"Stop acting like children. If you two can't behave yourselves, then I'm leaving!" Snape almost laughed at the startled, panicky look that crossed Draco's face. Almost. "Will you behave?"

They nodded shamefully like five-year-olds.

"Good." Snape sat back down, just as composed as ever.

There wasn't a word out of either of them for the rest of the game, expect for the occasional cheer or groan, depending on how the team was doing at the moment. Oliver seemed off his game a little, his face marred with lines of worry, but still managed to stop most of the balls from passing him. They won anyway, so it really didn't seem to matter at the time.

When the Snitch was finally caught and the game was over, Draco quickly left, pausing for only a second to give Harry a dirty look.

They exited the stadium immediately upon Snape's insistence, although Harry had wanted to stay for a while longer to congratulate Oliver on his big win. After a tiny squabble, Severus had his way, and they were off to the next destination.

*~*

"I am NOT going in there."

"Oh, come on, why not?"

"Look at it! Everything's . . . brightly colored! What is that racket that they're blaring? The water in that fake waterfall is dirty, not to mention that those plastic animals are hideous! And there are _children_ here!"

"Well, children usually come to places like this, but, once and a while, us grown ups can come and have fun too."

"I refuse. I'm going back to Hogwarts."

"_Come on!"_

"You can't make me!"

Then minutes later, Severus Snape, with some sort of stick in his hand, found himself standing before an oversized hippopotamus, it's large mouth opening and snapping shut continuously. He eyed the green ball at his feet, then the fake animal. "Please tell me the purpose of this 'miniature golf' again."

Harry smirked. "You have to get the ball through the hippo's mouth and into the little hole on the other side. Simple, really."

Snape grumbled under his breath, shifting the stick in his hand. "Damn thing . . ." He timed it just right, so that his ball sailed thought the hippo's open mouth, bounced off of a wall and glided right into the small hole. Harry gaped.

"What? Is that good?" questioned Severus.

"Y-yeah! A whole in one! The objective is to have less shots than me."

"Oh. Well, this doesn't seem to be very hard." He stepped back so that Harry could take his spot. "Do your worst, Potter."

Harry also got the ball through the mouth of the animal, but couldn't seem to land it into the hole after that. "Stupid blocks," murmured Harry as he swung at the ball again.

Severus snickered with amusement. "Simple? What's wrong, you can't figure out a tiny math angle in your head?"

"No! Leave me alone, I'll get it!"

"I'm sure you will . . . by the time I'm as old as Dumbledore." Snape sighed an over-exaggerated sigh. "It is quite obvious that I will have to take control of the situation, or else we'll never make it to that pretty little windmill over there, or to that delicious-looking mountain of Muggle treats, or . . ."

"Okay, okay! _Enough_ already!" Harry gestured to the ball. "Fine, go ahead and do it, since you're so bloody smart!"

"I don't think so. If I do this one for you, I'll have to do the rest as they get harder and harder." Severus slowly walked up to Harry's side. "Hold the . . . stick thing."

"It's a putter, Professor."

Severus gave him a 'just-do-it' look and he quickly did. Harry gasped softly as Severus went to stand behind him, his bigger, rougher hands slid over Harry's smaller ones in a most . . . sensual way. Harry unconsciously leaned back against him.

"W-what next Professor?" whispered Harry softly.

"Relax. You're too tense to do anything properly."

Harry did the best he could, but with Snape standing so close . . .

"That's better. Move to the right . . . a little more . . . there you go." Snape guided Harry's hands back and together they hit the ball with the putter. It rolled slowly, and directly into the hole.

Harry quickly removed himself from Snape's vicinity. "Thanks."

They continued the game without much more trouble and, of course, Severus won rather easily.

*~*

Next it was off to a small dinner-and-a-movie kind of place, where Snape found himself more than a little anxious to finally get a glimpse at the Muggle's version of a moving picture. They were seated at a small round table in front of a huge blank screen, and a waiter quickly took their order. Harry ordered a Muggle dish for Severus, a slice of 'pizza' or whatever it was called, while he himself ordered a hamburger with fries.

"Nice and fattening," mused Harry. "I promise you'll like it."

Snape snickered doubtfully and sat back in his chair, sipping on the wine that he'd ordered. He watched as Harry attacked a brown liquid through a red and white bent straw. "What is that?" he asked curiously, seeing the apparent delight on the younger man's face.

"A chocolate milkshake."

"Chocolate?"

Harry slid the tall glass across the table and gestured at him. "You can taste, if you'd like."

Severus sent him a suspicious glare before hesitantly taking up the glass. After one cautious sip, he was hooked. "This is very good. I suppose Muggles aren't all that bad."

Harry raised an eyebrow as he continued to drink. "Get your own, will you? That one is mine."

Snape passed the glass back to Harry, it's contents now half gone. Where was that waiter? He had to have one of those . . .

Their waiter then appeared beside their table and placed their food before them, along with an extra large milkshake, this one decorated with whip cream, sprinkles and two cherries and with two red and white straws. The waiter winked at them and said, "If you wanted the lover's shake, all you had to do was ask."

Harry promptly turned red and managed to squeak out a meager thanks.

"I supposed we'll share then," replied Snape calmly, plucking a cherry from the cream and devouring it.

" . . . right."

The glass of wine sat abandoned for the rest of the evening.

*~*

"The moving picture-"

"Movie, Professor. It's called a movie, for the hundredth time."

"The _movie_ was thought provoking, something that I most certainly didn't expect . . ."

"Not all Muggles are blundering, incompetent beings, you know."

" . . . entertaining, beautifully scripted and performed . . . I must come back one day."

Harry grinned as they walked down the sidewalk, side by side. He shoved his hands deep down into his pockets, the cool night air whipping at his body and glanced up at Snape's sharp features. It felt surprisingly nice to be in the man's company, to go places and to do things with him. An envelope of security surrounded him, and the stalking incident was now looming somewhere in the back of his mind. Harry inched closer to Snape's warmth and led him around a corner.

"One more stop, Professor, then you can withdraw to your caves for the rest of the night," kidded Harry lightly, casually slowing down his pace.

Severus unconsciously dropped back so that their strides matched, although it was a little difficult to do with his long legs. Was the evening almost over already? It had certainly been more pleasant than their last together, the memory of Potter underneath his robes, pressed up against him still fresh in his mind. Crushing him at miniature golf and his following reaction had been very entertaining, the dinner tasteful and the movie a delight. Suddenly his chambers didn't seem so appealing.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"To a sweets store just around the corner . . ."

Snape made a face. "Muggle treats do not sound all that appealing."

"You liked the milkshake, didn't you? I'm certain you'll find something you'll like."

*~*

The candy store was cold, Snape noticed. And there were those bright colors again, and a lot of white. The tables were funny shaped, not your regular circle or square, but all squiggly. Ice cream was being sold to the left, but after the milkshake, Severus was not in the mood for that.

He stood beside Harry in line, behind a Muggle mum and dad who were buying their already overweight child a bunch of sweets. _Disgusting . . . giving him everything he wants, so he'll grow as big as a house. Muggles have absolutely no sense._

Snape was about to comment quietly on the fact to Harry, but stopped when he noticed that the younger man wore strangest smile as he watched a young mother and father walk out of the shop, pushing a stroller with a napping baby inside. This was not the first time Harry had become distracted by little babies and their parents- as they strolled down the sidewalk earlier, he'd been looking then, and had even stopped to comment to one family about how _adorable_ their son was.

Potter and babies?

Harry wanted to be a father?

Probably. It WOULD explain a lot . . .

Wait . . . could that have something to do with what Harry wanted to ask him?

Snape's eyes flickered quickly as he came to a realization. He saw it now, he knew what Harry wanted . . . So why didn't he just ASK already? It was nothing big, just a yes or no question, and of course he would, but not before making the boy squirm a bit.

_Well, I won't bring it up._ After, it wasn't HIS job. If Potter wanted it so bad, he'd have to grow a little backbone and open his mouth!

He became distracted when it was their turn to order, and he had no idea what to get. Harry seemed very excited when he immediately ordered something called cotton candy, so Severus just got the same thing.

"What on earth is this?" he demanded when the Muggle behind the counter returned with two big bags full of a colorful fluffy mass. "This isn't a sweet."

"Yes it is!" Harry paid and took the bags, handing one to Snape before he tore his open and stuffed a piece of fluff into his mouth. He practically skipped out of the store, leaving the potion's master to follow.

They walked down the street in silence, Harry munching on his treat with Snape watching. _I suppose its safe. Potter's still alive . . . wait a minute. This IS the boy who survived the deadliest curse around . . ._ Severus snickered to himself softly. He removed the tie from the bag and slowly opened it, removing a tiny portion of the lime colored section of the sweet and put it in his mouth.

"What the . . ."

It had dissolved! Right there on his tongue, leaving behind a most pleasant taste. Tasting a bit more, he vaguely wondered if he should save Dumbledore a _tiny_ bit . . .

A shrill noise erupted from virtually nowhere, startling Snape into battle mode. His hand was but an inch from his wand when Harry slapped his arm roughly and grinned. Taking out some sort of small silver box, Harry waved it around.

"Don't worry, it's just this. A cell phone." He flipped back the cover and raised it to his face. "Hello? Oliver, congratulations on your big win! That was some fancy flying!"

Snape sighed heavily and shook his head. Those comments meant nothing- Harry had flown better in his days. If those two were going to mindlessly flirt over that contraption all night, then . . .

Suddenly Harry stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, gripping the phone so tightly that his hands whitened. Severus stopped, too, and watched the younger boy's face carefully.

"Are you sure you heard . . . Okay, okay! I'll- What? Where am I?" He glanced up at the Potions master. "I'm fine, don't worry. Professor Snape is here with me . . . I'm glad that makes you feel better." That was sarcastic. "I'll go straight . . . uh huh. No, that's not necessary, Oliver. Really! You'll only be putting yourself in danger. I'll get him to . . . right. Okay . . . okay . . . bye." Harry hung up and quickly began to walk.

"What was that all about, Potter?"

Harry glanced around cautiously and spoke in hushed tones. "In the locker room, Oliver overheard some guys from the other team talking about some things . . ."

"What _things_?"

"Seems like more than a few Death Eaters aren't too happy about the outcome of the war, and now they're going to try to finish me off. Maybe you too."

Well, that most certainly _wasn't _unexpected. But why now? Or had the plans been in the works for years? "How far along could this be? How much time . . ."

"I don't know. Oliver said that the two guys were discussing some sort of secret meeting for those interested . . . I guess they've just gotten their forces back together."

Snape swore underneath his breath. "I must tell Albus as soon as possible . . ."

"Yeah. You should get back to the castle, I guess."

"What about you?" This came out quickly, surprising Harry and even Snape. What happened to thinking before you spoke?

Harry smiled a tiny smile. "I think you're concerned about me. It's true, isn't it? You worry?"

"No! Albus would have my head if he knew I let you return to your apartment before it was properly secured! That's all, nothing more."

"Sure. If you say so. But I think it would be best if I went to Hogwarts with you."

"Come along then. We'll find a fireplace."

*~*

It felt like the old days, the days where they went out and did missions, then came back and reported to the Headmaster. Dumbledore listened carefully, twirling the end of his long beard with a finger.

"Hmmm . . . you were right to come here for the night, Harry. Perhaps you'll consider staying longer, for your safety."

"W-would that be alright? I mean . . ."

"Of course it'll be alright! Severus will be more than happy to share his rooms with you!"

Snape sat up. "What?! Now, wait a minute-"

"That way, you two will know where the other is, you can keep each other safe-"

"With all due respect, Albus, I can't . . . its not . . . I-"

"Not to mention keep Severus company! He gets lonely down in that dungeon, with nothing but smelly old potions. Of course, he won't admit it, but . . ."

"Albus! I'm sitting right here!"

"What do you say, Harry? How does that sound?"

He looked from Dumbledore's sparkling, encouraging eyes to Snape's glaring ones, then at the floor. Oh, boy . . . "Well . . . That sounds great to me! I've found the Professor to be much better company than I'd originally thought."

"Splendid! You two run along now, and get some sleep. Maybe you can accompany Severus to classes on Monday . . ."

Snape snarled and jumped up, stomping over to he door. "Let's go, boy! You're taking the couch, just so you know!"

Harry grinned. "Fine with me." He took his time getting up, stretching, then shaking Dumbledore's hand. "Thanks again."

The two were halfway out of the door when Albus called, "Harry, how was that play?! What did you think?!"

He stuck his head back into the room and frowned. "It was okay . . . I guess. The singing was extremely corny, though. That needed some work." Snape then yanked him back out into the hallway by the back of his shirt and dragged him away.

Once they were gone, Albus stuck his bare feet in front of the fire, a perplexed look crossing his face. "I thought the musical scores were quite . . . touching . . . hmmm . . ."

*~*

"You. Sleep here. You. STAY here. Don't go in there, there, there or in there, and most _certainly_ not in _there_ . . . don't touch that, that, this, or that . . ."

Harry watched as Snape pointed and gestured to the things that were off-limits . . . basically every single room and object imaginable. "So, what? Am I supposed to not move from the couch?"

"Why, that sounds like an excellent idea! I'm so glad you brought that up!"

"Ha, ha. I hate it when you're sarcastic."

"That's just too bad. Now, a few ground rules. Don't bother me when I'm sleeping. I-"

"Let me guess. You require a certain amount of sleep to obtain your maximum sarcastic-ness for the day."

"Does sleeping out in the hallway sound appealing? I didn't think so. Next, don't touch the liquor. I can't spend all of my days brewing you out of la-la land. The books, no matter how appealing or tantalizing, shall not be touched under any circumstances. They are all in perfect order, just the way I like them and if one, JUST one is moved, I'll know."

"What if I get bored?" protested Harry.

"Do what Gryffindors do best. Look completely lost and blow bubbles with your tongue."

Harry sighed heavily. Maybe he shouldn't have taken Dumbledore up on his offer, but It seemed like the perfect chance to get even more acquainted with Snape. "Can we just go to sleep now? Please?"

"Yes. Go to sleep." He stalked down the hallway and disappeared into a room at the very end, slamming the door behind him.

Harry plopped down on the couch and stared into the fire for a while before curling himself up into a ball, shaking slightly from the cold of the dungeon. He grabbed the thick green blanket that hung over the back of the couch and wrapped it around his body.

Why now? Why did this have to happen _now_? Just when he was about to realize a dream . . . a baby. Could he carry a child while something was stirring? When he might not be around long enough for it to be born, or to see it grow up if it was?

_No. No! Screw them! Voldemort and those Death Eaters have ruled my life for long enough. Every time I made a decision, I had to think of THEM and of what THEY might do. Well, now it's my turn! I'm thinking about ME this time, and what I want._

_And I want this baby. I want Snape's and I will . . . I WILL . . ._

And then a small voice said . . .

_. . . have them both . . ._

Scary. Had he just thought that? He wanted both a baby AND Snape?

Maybe . . .

*~*

A little more than half an hour had passed since Snape left Harry alone on the couch, and now he paced back and forth in front of his dimly lit fireplace, dragging his hand over his face roughly as he berated himself.

_Stupid . . . I could have given more of a fight. This is MY home, and I don't want him here, invading my privacy, my SPACE, my life . . ._

_But he already has, hasn't he?_

_Since our first mission, no, since the day we met, he's been a major factor in the things I've done, so I suppose it shouldn't be that big of a deal now . . ._

_God, I need a drink._

He stalked over to the door and yanked it over, hesitating just before he moved out into the hall. _But he's there . . . sleeping already? I don't want to disturb him . . ._

_What the hell? I'll do what I bloody please!_

Snape walked down the hallway quietly, pausing to glimpse at Harry who lay on the couch in a dead sleep, curled up in a fetal position. He forced himself to keep going, over to his minibar, grabbing a decanter of brandy and a glass, pouring the liquid slowly . . .

Harry stirred, mumbling something soft underneath his breath. Snape jumped, some of the brandy sloshing out of the glass and onto his hand.

"Damn."

He nervously patted at the spill with, shamefully, the end of his robes as the boy continued to move. _Just go back to sleep . . . don't talk . . . please._

" . . . professor? That you?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

" . . . nothin'. This couch is just . . . uncomfortable, s'all."

"Hmmm . . ."

A soft sigh released itself from Harry's lips. "Are you nocturnal or something?" he asked lazily, stiffling a strong yawn.

"No. Not usually. Just when there's a disturbance of some . . ." He stopped a little too late.

"Sorry. I'll be gone by tomorrow, I hope. If the headmaster will let me leave."

"No, I . . .This is the safest place. You should be here . . ."

Harry snickered delightfully. "You feel bad. About what you said. You DO care."

"So I care if you get hexed off the face of the earth. Is that a big deal?" questioned Snape, his back tensing as he glared down at the glass of liquor. What was WITH this boy? Why was he so annoying?

"Yes! I'm surprised! And . . . well . . . flattered, kinda. Severus Snape, showing some concern for ME! Not everyone can say the same."

" . . . you can take the bed, if that'll get you to shut up."

Harry got off of the couch and dragged his feet over to the bar. "You sure?"

"Go, before I change my mind." _Spoiled brat . . . obnoxious brat . . ._

"Thanks. I appreciate it." Harry's arm seemed to purposely brush Snape's as he turned around and slouched warily down the hall. He entered Snape's bedroom and stood in the doorway, staring at the bed. He didn't seem to remember much of the room from when he was there last time, but the bed seemed so familiar and welcoming.

He bounded over and slid underneath the thick blankets, pulling them up to his chin, then rolled onto his side and stared at the other side of the bed, barren and cold. _Poor Severus . . . he must hate to lie here alone every night. I know I hate it . . ._

Harry yawned out loud, then grinned impishly. "Say, Professor . . .!"

"What is it now?" he growled from the living room where the Potion's master was downing his third glass of brandy at the bar.

"There's enough room for two here . . . would you like to join me?"

Severus choked, sputtering and coughing until he turned blue. "GO! TO! SLEEP!!" he roared once he regained his voice. "NOW!!!!"

"Yes, _sir_! Goodnight, _sir_!"

_Damn, damn, damn . . . that sounded all too inviting . . ._

Read? Review!

Author's Note: * Snicker * Sev THINKS he's figured it out! Close, but no cigar.

**_Next chapter:_** After a rather 'small' misunderstanding between our to leading men, Harry pops the question! Snape's undecided (at first), Albus just HAS to add his two cents and, lets not forget what Oliver discovered. THEN . . . certain events in Snape's past will lead him to make a rather startling agreement with Harry . . .


	7. Chapter Seven

Author's Note: Well, this is how far I got before B.O.B! was rudely taken from ff.net. Anywho, here's the latest chapter. Please review! 

*~* Chapter Seven *~*

**H**arry, wearing a plain white shirt he'd pilfered from Snape's armoire, a pair of the man's pants rolled up at the ends and a pair of house slippers he'd also found, waltzed down the halls of Hogwarts in the direction of the Great Hall where breakfast was being served. 

Hopefully he would get there before the students arrived, as he did not really want to be seen by hundreds of eager students in his current state of dress.

As a pitiful sort of thanks for housing him for the night, Harry had decided to bring breakfast to the Potion's master. And, if the day went as planned, maybe he would be doing some negotiating by the end of the day . . .

After some serious thinking earlier that morning, Harry formed a new game plan. He was going to ask. Go ahead and get it over with. 

He just had to be ready for the possibility that he would be denied his request . . . although, to be honest, he hadn't really thought about that until just an hour ago.

_I must've been dead set on it that I didn't even think of that! I'll just cross my fingers for good luck . . ._

*~*

Lying awake all night on the couch had left Snape with more than just a backache and a sore, stiff neck. It had given him some time to think . . . about some previously buried, rather _unpleasant_ memories that he hadn't visited in quite a while. 

It was all Potter's fault. He had created a disturbance in his tranquility, forcing him to go out on that stupid date, taking over the bed the way he had, the comments . . . But it looked as if Potter would be around more often, with the trouble that was (supposedly) starting up. There was no way that Dumbledore would leave his little pet alone and in the cold. No, he would most likely be living somewhere in the castle until things blew over some.

_But with me?__ The WHOLE time? _

Why had Dumbledore suggested it anyway? What was that man up to _now_?

Before he could contemplate Albus' current devious agenda, the stone wall slid apart and Harry waltzed into the chamber, whistling a Muggle tune underneath his breath, followed by a floating silver tray loaded with two plates of hot steaming breakfast.

"Morning, Professor!" he called as he took the tray in his hands and sat it on the table before the couch. "How does breakfast sound, hmm?"

He glared, then took in Harry's attire. "Why so chipper this morning, boy? And are those _my _clothes?"

Harry grinned mischievously. "My clothes were all nasty and wrinkled, so I just borrowed some of yours. I hope you don't mind- I'll wash them later, promise."

Severus felt one of his eyebrows twitch. Infernal brat! He'd been in his _things_? What happened to not touching?

Harry snickered. "Your eyebrow's jumping, Professor. You . . . might want to have that looked at if it persists."

"You . . . are . . ."

The trays landed on the coffee table loudly, and Harry pranced over and plopped himself on the couch. He lifted a lid and sniffed the air. "Let's eat, okay? Then we can talk."

Before Severus had even placed his rear in the chair across from Harry, the boy was digging in, wolfing down piles of scrambled eggs and bacon, while managing to get in a sip or two of tea. Snape just wrinkled his nose at the boy's atrocious eating habits and began eating himself, but at a more civilized pace.

When they were both done, Harry stood up and stretched. "Now, what can I do about some clothes . . .?"

Snape sighed, produced his wand from his cloak and waved it. Harry's clothes, or rather Snape's, shrunk perfectly to fit his body. "Keep them," muttered Snape as he retreated to the back of his chambers.

"A gift? Thanks! Hey, where are you going?"

"To get cleaned up. Then we go to see Albus."

*~*

Their search for the Headmaster turned up fruitless, and had taken Snape much longer then he would have liked. But with students stopping Harry every couple of steps or so to get his autograph and to shake his hand, they hadn't gotten very far. Luckily, along the way, they ran into McGonnagal, who informed them that Albus had taken an impromptu trip into London to have tea with some of his colleagues. 

So Harry and Snape returned to the Potions master's chamber, where Snape ordered Harry to sit quietly while he graded essays. 

Harry gazed through the single window in Snape's living room as he leaned against the windowsill. The usually placid landscape of Hogwarts, now being ruthlessly torn apart by wicked, frigid winds sent chills racing up and down his spine despite the warm blazing fire Snape had started not too longs ago. Harry turned away from the window, listening to the soft pitter pattering of the rain as it struck the roofs of the school.

Snape quietly entered the room, rolls of parchment and a silver tray floating before him. They landed safely on the coffee table and Snape sat, preparing himself a cup of tea. Without even looking up, he muttered, "Well? Sit down already." He nodded to the chair across from him.

Harry hesitantly did as he was told.

"Since Dumbledore has taken a . . . convenient little trip to London, I guess . . . you'll have to . . . to . . ."

Harry grinned. "Stay here?"

"_Just_ until he returns, which, I hope, will be in a day or so, maybe less," Snape added quickly, glaring at the overly exuberant boy over the rim of his teacup. "So don't get too excited."

Harry leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, a tiny smile on his face. He was surprisingly comfortable sitting near Snape, with the soothing fire licking at his bare toes and the rain drumming out a soft tune. "_Ummmmm_, this is nice . . . a guy could get used to this . . ."

Snape choked and set down his cup forcefully, a bit of the brown liquid sloshing over the rim and onto the table. "No you don't! You'll not get comfortable-"

"Too late, I think."

Harry received no reply, just a murderous glare.

Resting a laugh, Harry wiggled his toes and stretched lazily, ideas whirling in his head. Shooting glances over at Snape, who was marking big red X's on a poor student's test, and quite obviously trying to ignore his guest's presence, Harry realized that he _hadn't _been joking before. He could really, _really_ get used to being around Snape. And actually, he _already _was.

_Hmm . . . **hmm** . . . maybe . . .___

Harry straightened up in his chair and cleared his throat. "Ah, Professor . . . that question I've been meaning to ask . . . I think I'm ready."

Snape quickly set aside his papers and leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. An amused look crossed his face, followed by a smirk. "No need to explain. I already know what you want."

Harry's eyes widened. "Y-you do? And . . . you're _okay_ with it?"

"Of course. Although I don't see why you didn't ask Albus to do it. He's much more qualified."

"Er . . . Don't you think he's kinda . . . well . . . _old_?"

Snape glared. "What does age have to do with anything? In fact, I would think his age would be an added bonus to-"

Harry grinned. "Are we on the same page here, Professor?"

"You want me to fill out some sort of recommendation. So that you can adopt a baby," Snape replied simply, waiting for the younger man's confirmation.

Forcing back giggles, Harry said, "Close, but not quite!"

"Well, what is it damnit?"

_Deep breaths, deep breaths . . . here we go! _"I was wondering . . . if you'd, ah, like to donate some . . ." Harry, loosing his nerve, drifted off, looking away.

But Snape was a smart man. He'd caught on by now. "ARE YOU INSANE?!!!" he shouted, leaping to his feet. "YOU WANT ME TO-" Snape's face suddenly went blank as he stopped in mid sentence and just stood there. 

After minutes passed with neither of them uttering a single word, Harry dared to speak. "Um, are you okay?" Snape didn't _look_ okay. His face was paler than usual, his shoulders suddenly slumped over, and his eyes looked lifeless and scary. He'd seen the man in quite a few states, but none like this one.

"Stay. There." And with that, Snape marched out of the dungeons without another word.

Harry sighed and stared into the burning fire. "Maybe this _wasn't_ such a good idea . . ."

*~*

"He wants to have a baby with me! A BABY!" exclaimed Severus Snape as he paced across Dumbledore's office. He'd found the older man after roaming the castle for nearly half an hour, snapping at any student who dared to stray across his path along the way. Sensing Snape's foul mood, Albus led him to his office for tea and a conversation.

"Sit down, Severus," Albus ordered gently. "You're making me dizzy."

He automatically responded by sitting in a huge chair that sat across from the headmaster's desk and ran his callused palms over his face several times. "I don't believe this . . . I don't believe this . . ."

After pouring himself some tea, the headmaster sat back in his chair and prepared himself for a lengthy conversation. "Now that we're both comfortable, you can explain to me what had the students running in the other direction when you came down the hall."

"Potter! It's Potter, as usual!" Severus barked out. "He comes waltzing into my life, taking over _everything_, and then he has the nerve to ask me if I'd like to make a child with him! A _child_, Albus!"

A tiny smile played across the headmaster's lips. "You don't say?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Severus immediately demanded.

"Nothing." Dumbledore took a sip of tea, then continued. "Honestly, Severus, I fail to see what the problem is."

Snape stared as if Dumbledore had gone stark raving mad. "Don't see a _problem_?! Besides the fact that I'm old enough to be his father-"

"Age is nothing but a number," Albus supplied calmly.

"-that we've absolutely _hated_ each other for the years we've known each other-"

"Well, it seems that Mr. Potter has had a change of heart . . . can't you?" 

"-that I was his _teacher-_"

"_Was_ his teacher. Not anymore."

"You're not helping!" cried Snape.

"Well, what do you want me to say? If Harry seems genuinely interested in creating a child with you, in creating _life_ with you, Severus, and he's willing to let you be a part of the new life that you make together, then I don't see a problem." Albus gave Snape a level gaze. "I think that this would be good for you."

" . . . good?"

Albus smiled. "My dear boy, I know about your past. I know that your one chance for happiness was cruelly snatched away from you by the people you believed in . . . Severus, don't you see?"

Severus just shook his head.

"You're being given a second chance, in a strange sort of way. You're being presented with something that everyone wishes they could have, but not all get." Albus mused for a moment. "In fact, I would like a second chance myself. To right a wrong, to be happy . . . Not that I'm not now, of course! But there are some things that I wish I could do over again."

Snape closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. Another chance for happiness? Could that really lie in _Potter,_ of all people? 

The world was a cruel, and ironic, place. But that was nothing new to him.

"What are you suggesting, Albus?"

"Let's see . . . Harry wants to have your child, but I'll bet that you're not going to want to miss a day in your baby's life."

"That's right."

"It's simple! Get married!"

"W-WHAT?!" Snape roared. This somehow seemed even more preposterous than Harry's idea.

"You know, homosexual marriages are becoming more and more common in the wizarding world," Albus said. "You two would make a fine match. I hear that your dates have been quite a success."

"They were not dates! And I can't believe this!"

Albus held up a hand. "Don't give in to your initial reaction, Severus. Look at this from all sides. Do you enjoy Harry's company. Honestly?"

" . . . it's not that bad, I suppose . . ."

Realizing that that was about as close to a 'yes' as Albus was going to get, he continued, "Could you spend the rest of your life with him? A big question, but it is _the_ question, after all."

"I don't know. But I'm . . ."

"Lonely?"

Snape sighed warily. "You know I don't like that word, Albus."

"With Harry and a baby, you'll never be lonely again." Now, here came the simplest question of all. "And do you want a child, Severus?"

"Of course," replied Snape with a tiny hint of desperation in his voice. "You know that."

"So what's the problem?" Albus asked again, gently. "Harry's presenting you with a golden opportunity. Take it, or you'll be sorry."

Snape needed time to digest all of this, to weigh things out, and to make his decision. He slowly got to his feet and gave Albus a nod of thanks. "I'll . . . go and think this over. If you could send a house elf to him and tell him to give me some time . . ."

No need to ask who 'he' was. "Of course."

When Severus was gone, Albus filled his request and grinned to himself. Somehow . . .  he knew what Snape's decision would be.

*~*

A house elf appeared in the living room of Snape's chambers just as he was about to get up and leave. Harry had made up his mind to ask Dumbledore for alternate accommodations while he was at Hogwarts. He could not live with Snape once the man rejected his offer. There would be to much humiliation.

But the elf's message gave Harry a little hope. Severus was going to _think_ about it. Maybe he would agree.

Harry, with a jar of powder in his hand, sat in front of the fireplace and tossed a bit of the powder in. "Ron and Hermione Weasely," he directed the fireplace. "Guys, it's me, Harry."

"Harry, we were getting a little worried!" That was Hermione. "Oliver phoned us, and Sirius, and told us what was up. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm in Snape's chambers, safe and sound."

"Snape's, huh? Did you ask?"

"U-huh," muttered Harry unhappily.

"And, from the sound of things, it didn't go to well. Sorry Harry." There was genuine concern in her voice.

"Hey, I haven't given up yet! I got a message saying that he'll THINK about it! So that's not-"

Suddenly the flames of the fire leapt and crackled loudly, startling Harry. So, someone else was trying to contact him through the fireplace. 

"Hermione, I gotta go. Professor Snape could be trying to contact me," Harry said eagerly.

"Okay. Good luck!" Hermione was gone.

"Hello? Professor Snape, is that you?" 

" . . . THE HELL?!! POTTER?!!"

Harry sat back in disappointment. "Malfoy? How can you be connected to this fireplace?" he asked suspiciously.

Draco snorted. "I've been connected to Snape's fireplace since day one, Potter. He and I have always been very . . . thick."

"Thick, huh?" Harry laughed and grinned. "So why am I the one in his chambers and not you?"

"I don't know what you're doing to weasel yourself into his life, but I'll stop it. You'll see." Suddenly Draco's voice changed. "Look, is Severus there? This is very important."

"No, he's not here . . ." Now Harry was more than a little curious. "I can take a message . . ."

" . . . I suppose so, since it deals with you. I've been hearing things. About Death Eaters uprising and coming after you and Snape-"

"Oh. Yeah, I know."

"And you say that as if it were nothing! Snape's life is in danger, here! They're serious. The new leader, whoever the hell he is, is even inviting members who changed their tune after Voldemort become nothing more than dust to join in on the fun!"

Harry swallowed. So, this wasn't just an isolated rumor. There really _was _something stirring. "What about you? Will they . . .?"

Draco sighed. "I doubt it, but if they do, then I'll do it. See what I can find out. For Snape!" He added quickly. "Not you, Potter."

"Of course, not me. But thanks, anyway."

"Whatever. Just get your ass out of Snape's chambers as soon as possible."

_If I have my way, I'll be in here everyday . . ._ "We'll see."

The fire diminished as Draco departed the network, leaving Harry to think things over. Snape needed to return, and fast, so that they could discuss their other little problem . . .

*~*

It was getting dark by the time Snape returned to the dungeons. He entered his chambers to find Harry sitting on the living room floor with books piled up next to him, bent over one with a strange writing utensil in his hand. Severus cleared his throat to attract the boy's attention.

Harry jumped, then smiled hesitantly. "Oh! There you are! We have a lot to discuss!"

Snape nodded and came into the room, surprising Harry by sitting on the floor next to him. He picked up a book and flipped through the pages. "Doing research on babies and pregnancy?"

Harry blushed. "Yeah . . ."

"You're not going to learn about childrearing from a book, you know. There's more to it."

"I know, but I don't want to go into something without knowing the basics," Harry said, glancing down at the piles of books. "If we're discussing this, does this mean . . ."

Snape didn't say a word.

Harry grinned and was about to give Snape a hug when a very firm hand on his shoulder stopped him.  The older man gave him a 'don't you even try it' look and cleared his throat loudly.

"But there are some conditions. I will not help bring a child into this world, only to not be a part of the baby's life. I want to raise him too."

"O-kay . . ." That was very understandable.

"If we're going to do this, then we're going to do it right. We need to get married."

Harry gapped.  Where had _this_ come from? "Married . . ."

"Married. I want to be a father, too," Snape revealed. "If you're still willing to do this, then . . ."

There was a moment of silence before Harry suddenly grinned. "Married? Let's do it!" he exclaimed, just like that.

Whether Snape looked taken aback by Harry's apparent enthusiasm towards his unorthodox suggestion, or by his actual acceptance of it, he could not determine.  The sight of the sophisticated man sputtering helplessly in surprise was a very foreign image to the younger man- and he couldn't help but laugh.

"You _weren't _supposed to say _yes_," Severus gritted through clenched teeth.

Harry snickered out of amusement.  "Then why the hell did you ask?"

"To scare that crazy idea out of your damn mind!  We can't-"

"I was _very serious_," protested Harry, "on both accounts."  HE eagerly inched forward across the carpet until her almost lay in the other man's lap.  Snape's face adopted a look of sheer surprise and mild discomfort at having the young, attractive man in such close proximity to his person.  "I can make you happy.  Given the chance, I know I could," Harry said in a voice that caused Snape to internally shiver.

Severus forced his mind to concentrate on the situation at hand, and not on Harry's deliciously lithe form that was practically draping its self all over him.  "What do you see me as?" demanded Snape in the most biting tone that he could muster.  "Some sort of challenge, or a conquest?"

Harry looked more than mildly offended.  He quickly sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.  "Let's not confuse me with Draco, okay?" He snapped back.  "I am _not that kind of person, and you damn well know it!" Forcing himself to calm down, he said softly, "Besides, we're _good _together, honestly! We've enjoyed each other's company-"_

"Marriage is not all fun and games! _Especially _with a baby on the way!"

"I _know _that!  And I'm ready to sacrifice the rest of my bachelor years for this.  I hate being alone, and dating has never been my thing, so . . ."

"So there's just me."

Harry suddenly jabbed Snape in his sensitive spot, causing him to double over in his efforts to remain serious.  "Don't say it that way!  You've always been first on my list about the baby.  But now my agenda has changed . . . no, _expanded_, to include you in my life."  Harry shrugged his shoulders.  "That's all."

After recovering from Harry's brutal attack, Snape pinned a critical look on him.  "You know that marriage is forever.  I won't have you crying for a divorce after our first fight.  I'm positive that we'll be having more than a few of those."

"Of course.  I'm in this for life, too.  As long as you promise to try, then so will I." 

Snape nodded sharply.  "Well then . . ."

"Well?  Is there going to be a wedding or not?"

" . . . are you _sure_ you want to do this?" asked the older man in a pained voice.

"I'm more positive about this than I've ever been about anything in my life."

Things had _not gone according to plan for Severus.  He had not expected to come away from this with a marriage and plans for a child.  However, Albus' words flashed through his mind, and he decided that it was time for him to take chances again.  He was, he could admit, getting old, and not many opportunities to recreate the family he'd lost so long ago would present itself.  _

_Carpe Diem_­- seize the day.

And that was just what Severus was going to do.

"Fine.  I shall go to draw up the paperwork necessary for the marriage," Snape asserted.  "However, paper does not travel quickly in the Ministry, so that should give you ample time to make preparations. Tomorrow we shall begin to move your things into my chambers and will speak to this doctor that you've found to perform the operation.  Be prepared to wake early- we've got a lot of work to do."

Harry gapped like a fish as Snape turned to leave.  "Wait!"  

He rushed forward and pressed his body against Snape's.  Gripping the man's face in his hands, Harry stood on the tip of toes and placed his lips over Severus', then took advantage of his surprise and slipped his tongue into Snape's mouth.  In a flurry of movement, Harry's tongue brazenly swept over the roof of Snape's mouth, mingling with the other man's along the way.  After applying one more moment of fierce pressure onto the man's lips, Harry let go and stepped back.

Well, hell. A day of never-ending surprises.  

Gasping for breath, Harry grinned and said sexily, "And that's just a _taste_ of what you'll get on our wedding night!"

That left Snape speechless.  He quickly exited the room, leaving a laughing Harry behind.

*~*

Things, however, were not going as well for poor Remus as they had been for Harry.  Sirius was still skirting around the marriage-baby issue, and Remus felt as if he was about to snap.  

At that particular moment, Sirius was feeling a little randy, and was tugging impatiently at his lover's shirt, making little whiny noises while inching towards the bed.  

Remus decided that it was time to take a stand.  He pushed Sirius away and crossed his arms over his chest, giving the other man a look that said 'we need to talk'.  Sirius immediately recognized the look and groaned.

"Right NOW, Remus?  You want to talk NOW?"

"Yes, NOW!  The bedroom seems to be the only place where I can command your attention these days," grumbled Remus.  "I want to talk to you.  About us."

Sirius pouted and looked away.

"You know what I want, Sirius.  Please, let's try to work this out so that we'll both come out winners."

"What is there to talk about?  I'm not marrying you, and there will be no babies!" snapped Sirius so forcefully that Remus felt as if he'd been slapped.

He didn't understand.  Sirius _loved_ him.  He _had to.  They'd supported each other through out the war, and through Sirius' trial, through everything.  And now he was saying these things . . . these things that sounded like all he wanted to take away from the relationship was the nightly roll in the hay.  Remus had never felt so hurt and alone in his life as he did right then _

"Why? At least tell me _why!" demanded Remus angrily._

Sirius just stalked into the hallway, but the other man followed him.  

"Answer me, damn it!! WHY?!!"

"After a while, Remus," Sirius said in a strangely calm voice, "all this nonsense Harry's filled your head with will go away, and we can get back to our normal, _working_ relationship.  Until then . . ." He slumped into the spare room across the hall and slammed the door behind him.

"Fine, Sirius Black!" Remus shouted.  "You can be a jackass for all I care!  But don't you dare come to me in the middle of the night, wanting to make up! We'll make up with words, not mindless sex, you hear me?!"

He retreated to his own room and lay motionless in the bed, staring at the ceiling.  Maybe Sirius was right.  His dreams for more than he had were ruining the present.  Maybe . . . maybe he would just forget about his dreams.  For what were they if they did not include the love of his life?

*~*

Oliver sat in a tiny café in Hogsmeade with his face buried in _The Daily Prophet_ so as not to attract attention while he sipped carefully at his cup of steaming hot tea.  Supposedly, this was the place where the former Death Eaters would be meeting in just days, most likely in a hidden back room, and he was eager to scope out the place, to see where all of the exits were and such.  He planned on being a spy the night they gathered, collected names that would help put the rebellers behind bars in Azkaban for good.

While he was considering using a cosmetic spell to make sure that he was not recognized that night, to his surprise, Draco Malfoy waltzed into the place as if he owned it, looking quite sharp and attractive, noted Oliver, in his dark slacks and white shirt.  He ordered a cup of tea, blinding one of the waitresses with his dazzling smile, then leaned against the counter, his smoke colored eyes running over the place.  They rested on Oliver, who sat there, looking like a trapped animal.

An evil look crossed his face and he walked up to Oliver and sat at his table, as if he had every right to.  "Well, well, well, isn't this a small world?"

"Nice to see you too, Malfoy," Oliver muttered, sounding anything but happy to see him.

"You'll never guess who I spoke to today, and where he was," taunted the younger man.  "Potter just happened to be in Severus Snape's chambers, and he sounded as if he'd been there all night."

Oliver saw what he was trying to do.  "Oh, I know.  He called me last night and told me.  Surely you know what's going on- Harry just went for precautionary measures, I assure you."

Draco laughed bitterly. "Precautionary measures?  Oh, ho, ho, ho!  I sure hope those two taking using precautionary measures, because they're probably shagging each other as we speak.  Potter's got poor Snape wrapped around his little finger, and he won't stop until he gets the man."

Oliver opened his mouth to protest, but found no words.

"I didn't know that Potter was that good at The Game.  He bested me, and no one's ever done that before.  I guess he deserves Snape and all of his glory."

Besides being momentarily disturbed, Oliver was very upset.  "I can't believe this!  Harry wouldn't . . ."

"Sorry lover boy, but you've lost this one," muttered Draco, eying the other man up and down.  _Hmm . . . what a fine one Potter let go.  Maybe I didn't come out the winner, but I can always take the consolation prize and go home a VERY happy man . . ._

"So, I suppose you're here because of the thing," Draco said leisurely.

Not needing to ask what the thing was, Oliver nodded.  "I'm going to be here and catch every one of those dirty, lying bastards in the act!  They won't be able to skirt this one."

"Maybe we can team up then.  I'll be your inside informant."

Oliver raised a brow.  "You mean . . .?"

"Yep.  Got a formal invite a little earlier in the day.  Apparently the new leader doesn't give a damn who does the dirty work, as long as it gets done." Draco snickered.  "Idiot.  That'll be his downfall, whoever the asshole is."  He got to his feet and gave Oliver a smile that could have literally knocked the socks off of a person and said, "So, I guess I'll be seeing you around then.  After all, it is quite fitting for the losers to become associated."  With a wink, Draco Malfoy stepped out of the café and was gone.

_And let the games begin._

*~*

Next chapter:_ Harry and Snape make more plans, Harry's closet friends and family are informed of the decision, Remus struggles to keep his relationship together, and Draco scores a goal in the game of love! _


	8. Chapter Eight

**Title:** Baby, Oh Baby! (08/?)  
**Author name:** Enchantress101  
**Author email:**  
**Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Drama  
**Keywords:** Slash Harry/Snape mpreg  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Harry desperately wants a baby, and, like they say, where there's a will there's a way! What happens when he asks Severus Snape to be his you-know-what donor? WARNING: Slash of the SS/HP kind, Mpreg  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Author notes:** This chapter isn't like anything that I've written before . . . There is one scene that is sexual, but nothing too graphic. Can't bring myself to write that.

**Chapter Eight **

_Falling out, falling out_

_Have you ever wondered_

_If this was ever more than a crazy idea?_

Lyrics from "Wrong Impression" by Natalie Imbruglia

Snape didn't immediately return to his chambers in Hogwarts after he finished retrieving the paperwork needed to seal his and Harry's decision. Instead he ventured to his little spot in Knockturn Alley, where Harry had gotten smashed and consequentially spent the night in his chambers. As he sat at the bar, he scowled over his strong drink. What had his already pathetic life come to? He could not even sulk in his favorite bar without thinking of the boy, and it was driving him insane.

_I should get used to it, I suppose,_ Snape told himself. _I shall be spending the rest of my life with him._

Severus almost laughed at the absurdity of what he'd just thought. If someone had told him years ago that he was going to end up (practically) engaged, and making plans to have a family with Lily and James' son, he would have laughed himself to death.

Now . . . now, he sat alone, in a very strange bar, drinking an even stranger concoction of several potent liquors with papers requesting a marriage license in the pocket of his robes.

Severus downed his drink and was just about to order another when a rather noisy party of men Snape's age entered the club, immediately moving to the bar for drinks. They all seemed to be milling around one wizard in particular, a wizard who, Snape suddenly realized, he knew. _I wonder . . . can I slip away without him noticing . . .?_

He had no such luck. The man he recognized turned to him and let out a cry of surprise. "Severus! Severus Snape! Who would've guessed that you'd be hanging around a dodgy place like this?"

Snape sighed internally. "I could say the same for you, Jackson. What are you doing here?"

Jackson waved his buddies away and sat next to Snape. "Celebrating! Finally hit it big, Severus! I discovered something that could change the wizarding world big time!"

Severus winced slightly from mild envy. Well, at least _someone's_ career wasn't stagnant. After years, and years, and years of relaying subtle hints to Albus, he had yet to secure the coveted position of DADA professor. "Congratulations," he muttered.

"Jeeze, Severus, how long has it been? Fifteen years? Haven't seen you at any of the good old Snape family reunions." Jackson snickered, giving Severus a knowing look.

Severus scowled at his younger cousin. "I would not be caught at one of those . . . _atrocities_ if the rest of the world suddenly disappeared and that was the only place left to be."

Jackson found this hilarious, and showed it by laughing for an extended period of time. "I've missed your quirky sense of humor, Severus! Really, I have. And so has Julia."

"How has your family been?" asked Snape politely, for the sake of conversation.

The other man beamed with pride and pulled his wallet out of thin air. He snapped it open and a long line of pictures of his family came tumbling out. "There's my wife Julia . . . and the first brat there, he's really smart and'll be coming to Hogwarts soon . . . there's the baby girl who's shown a true love for flying already . . . and that's the dog Woofers . . ."

Snape stared at the family pictures as his cousin went on and on. This . . . this was what he'd missed out on over the years. He vaguely remembered having dreams of the ideal family in his youth, which had quickly vanished long ago . . . But, just as Dumbledore had said, Harry was allowing him to have a second chance at what he'd missed out on, what had been cruelly and unjustly taken away from him years and years before.

"Very nice," commented Snape, truly meaning it although he knew it did not sound that way.

Jackson grinned, accustomed to his older cousin's lack of enthusiasm. "Thanks. Say, what about you? If I remember correctly, you were serious about some girl . . . what was her name? You two finally hook up?"

Severus stared blankly at the counter below him and gritted his teeth. Was _anyone_ in his family besides himself blessed with the gift of tact? "No. Nothing became of that," he snapped.

Jackson winced. "Hey, sorry, I-"

"I must be getting back to Hogwarts," said Snape, getting up from the barstool as if every part of his body ached. Not meeting the other man's eyes, he added, "Someone is waiting there for me," before stalking off towards the fireplace.

Jackson stared after his cousin. _Did Severus just imply what I think he did? Has he finally found someone?_

Harry was worried. Hours ago, he'd ordered food from the kitchen to be brought to the dungeons, so that he and Snape could talk more about their decision over a nice dinner. Now the food was cold- Severus had not returned to his chambers, had not sent a word to Dumbledore or Harry as to his whereabouts, nothing.

Harry paced back and forth in the living room, wringing his hands over and over. "Where is he . . . where is he?"

Could something have happened to him? Did the Death Eaters have him right now? Harry began pulling at his hair with worry and fear. Should he go to Dumbledore? Should he stay, in case Snape came back?

Suddenly the wall peeled back, allowing one Severus Snape entrance into his chambers. His face showed no emotion, as usual, cluing Harry into the fact that he was unaware that he had done anything wrong. However, when Harry, looking very, _very_ upset, launched himself into Snape's 'personal space' in a way that would have made Mrs. Weasley (the older one) very proud, the other man became quite certain that he'd slipped up somewhere.

Harry shook a finger in Snape's face. "Where _have_ you been?! You went to get some papers _hours ago_ and you're _just now coming home_?! Are you _insane_? Do you know how worried I was? With all that's been going on, I thought that you were lying _dead in a ditch_ somewhere, or bleeding to death, crying out for someone to come and-"

Severus' lips twitched, forming something that resembled a smile. "Calm down, boy. You're over-reacting. In case you haven't noticed, I'm perfectly fine." He walked past Harry and over to his wet bar. After placing the marriage papers down on the cold glass table, he reached for a decanter without a second thought.

Harry loudly cleared his throat. "I don't think so. If my nose is correct, you just _came_ from a bar. You don't need anymore."

"Then quit with your excessive, needless bantering," Snape demanded.

Harry made a face at his back. "Well, sorry for being concerned!" They stood in silence for a few minutes before Harry replied easily, "Hey, does this constitute as our first fight?"

Snape snorted and put the liquor back in its place. "Hardly. We're not married yet. And I do think the time you told me to _shut up_ a few years ago would be a better example of a . . . disagreement."

"Yeah, well, you were being pretty rotten, saying those things . . ."

Snape just grunted.

Harry sighed, relaxing the muscles in his body that had been very tight. No use arguing with Severus Snape . . . "I know you're probably not thirsty," he commented wryly, giving the older man a look. "But maybe you're hungry. I had some food brought up earlier . . ."

"Good. Then we can get these papers filled out over a meal."

". . . Actually, just leave them there," Harry replied hastily as Snape moved to pick up the papers. "Let's wait a while, okay? Get to know each other first."

Severus raised an eyebrow. What was this? Was Harry having second thoughts? Before Snape could voice his concern, Harry continued talking as he levitated several silver trays into the room.

"And I've been thinking about something you said to me, about what I want to do with my life," mused Harry, carefully placing the trays on the coffee table. "I don't want you to have to earn all of the money for the baby."

"I'm more than financially capable of supporting you and a child."

"Oh. Is your family rich?" Harry asked easily, taking a seat on the couch.

The older man moved to sit across from Harry. "Quite. We rival the Malfoy family," Snape said proudly.

"Really? Wow."

"Of course, I'm wealthy in my own right . . ."

Harry snickered. "That's all good and well, _Severus_, but I really don't like the idea of sitting around the dungeons all day, doing nothing while you make a living terrorizing students and brewing potions."

Snape uncovered one of the trays and picked up a sandwich and opened it to view its contents before eating it. "In all actuality, I do not think that taking care of a _baby_ is doing _nothing_. Caring for one is hard work and-"

"I _know_ that. So I was thinking of something that I could easily complete at home. How about this?" Harry grinned eagerly. "I could design broomsticks!"

Severus didn't say anything.

"I've been doing some research into broom making and-"

Snape emitted a barking laugh that shocked Harry. "It's too bad you couldn't have done some research for my class. Maybe then you would've made better marks."

Harry made a face. "Well, har, har! Come on, I'm serious here! What do you think?"

Severus sat back in his chair and set aside his sandwich. "It depends if you're any good at it."

"Of course."

"And even if you're not, I suppose people would buy _anything_ endorsed by _Harry Potter_ . . ."

"Hey!"

"If that's what you want to do, then fine," Snape said nonchalantly. "And I suppose you'll need some financial backing . . ."

Harry blushed slightly and looked away. "Well . . . I've still got a little money left from my parents . . . but, I mean . . . That wasn't why I brought it up! I'm not going to be one of those people who constantly bother their spouse about money- I promise."

Severus shrugged. "The men in my family have always established an allowance for their . . . _wives _. . ." he replied with an evil grin.

"Hey, wait! Who said that _I_ was going to be the woman here?"

xOxOx

"_Mrs. and Mr. Ronald Weasley,_

_You are hereby invited to celebrate the forthcoming success of Dr. Jackson Edwards on Saturday, December 20th, at eight o'clock pm in the East Ballroom of The Golden Inn. Formal wear required. Please R.S.V.P. before December 1st," _read Hermione aloud with a confused look on her face. She lay in bed before a roaring fireplace, shifting through the day's mail. This was, by far, the most interesting of them all, surpassing copies of strange accounts sent by Ron's boss from totally random people about even more random things that her husband had to report on at work the next day. Crookshanks, still alive and annoying the hell out of Ron, leapt into her lap and eyed the invitation warily. "Ron, what is this?"

Ron came into the room with a rather large container of ice cream and two oversized spoons. He joined her in the bed and began devouring the ice cream. "Wha' you talkin' 'bout?" he muttered around the spoon.

Hermione gave him a look and yanked the ice cream away from him. "_I'm_ the one craving pumpkin juice flavored ice cream! Give me that! And I'm talking about this invitation. Is this guy someone from your work?"

Ron chose to ignore the fact that he'd been the one who had to go all the way out to Diagon Alley to get the treat and scanned the piece of paper. "Who the hell is this _Jackson Edwards_?"

"Ron, _dear_, I was hoping you could tell me that," she said sweetly. "That's why I asked."

"Er . . . right. Well, I dunno. Never heard his name before in my life."

Before Hermione could comment, the phone rang. She reached over the cat to get the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello Hermione," came a pleasant voice from the other end. "How are you this evening?"

"Just fine Percy."

"That's good. Say, did you happen to receive an invitation in your owl post today?" Percy asked casually.

"Actually, yes? Did you get one too? What is it about?"

"My fiancé, Karen, she works with Dr. Jackson Edwards, and they're having a big bash to celebrate a huge event in a few months, and I asked if you guys could be invited."

"Oh! Well, thanks. What's being celebrated?"

"I wish I could tell you guys. Evidentially, it's top secret, very hush hush, if you know what I mean. It's really big, though."

"Hmmm. Sounds interesting in the least. If it's a big enough story, maybe I could write a book on it, turn it into a best seller . . ." Hermione drifted off.

"Sounds good. I hope you guys can make it. It'll mean a lot to Karen to have her future family there."

"We'll do our best to show up. Bye Percy." She hung up and turned to Ron to tell him what was going on, but when she caught sight of Ron sleeping like a baby with Crookshanks snoozing on his belly, she settled on finishing off the ice cream Ron had gone out of his way to get.

After one spoon of the ice cream, she wrinkled her nose. "Yuck! What was I _thinking_?"

xOxOx

By the time the Quidditch store in Diagon Alley was finally clearing out, it was very late, and Oliver's hands were stiff and sore. Autograph sessions were not his favorite thing to do- they always left him with aching fingers, a headache and a growling stomach, and this time was no different. His team mates began to pack their things and make their goodbyes, but he just rested his throbbing head in his hands and sighed heavily.

He could not believe the news. Harry . . . and _Snape_? It was too weird. Not to mention _insulting_! What did an old man like Snape have that he didn't? _I could give Harry what he wants . . . if only he'd give me the chance! I know it!_ But it looked as if he wouldn't ever get one.

_Harry and Snape?!_

The world was obviously a _cruel_, _cruel_ place.

"Don't tell me I missed the signing," replied a silky voice before him.

Oliver's head snapped up. "Oh, it's just you, Malfoy."

The blond smirked at the dismal looking man before him. Yes, dismal looking . . . but in a _sexy_ way. "Moping over Potter, I see."

"Oh yeah? Well, where's Snape?"

"Touché," Draco replied easily. He slapped a photo down on the table in front of them and whipped out a fancy, frilly quill. "Go on, sign it."

For a while, Oliver was amused and forgot his problems with Harry. "Why, Malfoy, I didn't know you were a fan of mine. Do you go around collecting photos of me? I'm flattered, really," he said sarcastically as he took the gaudy quill and spun it in his fingers carelessly, giving the younger man a once over.

"Don't do that! That thing's bloody expensive," snapped Draco. "And besides, I'm not a fan of yours," he added airily. "I snatched it out of some girl's magazine today while she wasn't looking."

Oliver glared, trying to imagine why Malfoy wanted with a signed photo of him. "If I sign this, will you leave me alone?"

". . . maybe . . ."

Oliver quickly scribbled his signature at the bottom of the photo. "There. Now get lost."

Draco gave an evil grin and stuffed the photo into a hidden space in his robes. Then he took his quill back and said, "Thanks! Now that you've signed your name with this quill, I can send Potter a mushy, _gushy_ love letter in your handwriting! Won't this be fun?"

Oliver was up and around the table in a second. "You wouldn't!"

"Wouldn't I?" Draco commented, raising a slim, manicured eyebrow. "You know I would."

The older man made a wild grab for Malfoy's quill, but Draco was able to raise it above his head before Oliver could get a grip on it using the quick reflexes he'd acquired as a Seeker. When Oliver reached up, he quickly moved the quill behind his back. Oliver's hand followed, resting over Draco's tight fist and his eyes flared with triumph. However, the quill was soon forgotten when Draco stepped closer to him, pressing his body against the older man's. Oliver gasped slightly, shocked by his body's response to Draco's close proximity.

With a devilish grin, the blond let his hand slip from underneath Oliver's, letting the other man's hand rest on his rear end. Draco, looping the arm with the hand that held the offending object around Oliver's neck, began tickling the back of Oliver's neck with the quill's soft feather, he whispered, "I'll think about giving it to you . . . if you let me take you out to dinner tonight."

Oliver couldn't breathe. The blond was so close . . . too close . . . And his hand was still on his ass . . . but, Merlin help him, he was starting to like it. Oliver's hand slowly drifted back to his waist as a river of emotions began to engulf him.

Draco smelled so good . . . like warm vanilla. And those liquid silver eyes . . . _those eyes_ possessed a beauty that rivaled Harry's . . .

_Harry . . . what about Harry . . ._

_What **about** Harry? Harry's got Snape. What the hell does he need me for?_

Here was a warm and inviting body, one who was not denying him or pushing him away. He wasn't going to be stupid and deny the handsome young man's proposal.

"Sure. Why the hell not?"

xOxOx

The rest of the evening passed quickly for Harry and Snape, and soon it was time for bed. Harry, with no night clothes, began to rummage through a chest of drawers in Severus' bedroom while the other man showered. It soon became very clear that Severus Snape only owned black silk pajama sets, so Harry pulled a random one out and began rubbing the fabric in between his fingers. It was cold to the touch, but he was sure that Snape's body would warm it up in no time.

Harry was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Severus leave the bathroom, enter the bedroom, and didn't realize that the man was standing right next to him, watching him, until the silk was rudely yanked from his fingers. "Hey!"

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't commit blatantly _lewd_ acts with my clothing," grumbled Snape smoothly. "I had Madam Pomfrey send down a set of pajamas from the infirmary and used magic so that they would fit you. They're right there." He pointed to the end of the massive bed.

Harry blushed. Like he hadn't noticed the hideous things. He just didn't feel like wearing them. "Aw, come on! I got enough of wearing those while I actually _studied_ here."

"That was certainly no fault of _mine_. So put those on and leave my things alone."

Harry stuck his tongue out and snatched up the clothing, then moved into the bathroom.

Severus sighed and replaced the clothes, then climbed into the bed. He took out a pair of reading glasses and put them on, then took a stack of fourth year essays from the table beside his bed and a blood red quill and began reviewing them. He was in the middle of reading an obviously last minute, half-assed Gryffindor essay when he heard something that caused him to look up from his work.

Harry's soft voice floated from the bathroom, barely audible over the sound of falling water. He was singing a song that was unfamiliar to Severus, and singing it beautifully, much to his surprise. He cocked his head to the side and strained to listen.

"_I'd give you all the things that I'd never get,_

_Give you all I have and have no regrets,_

_Take you to the places I've never been_

_Forgive you all the things that you can't forget, _

_Take away the pain with my healing hand,_

_Wash away your sins and set your spirit free . . ."_

Severus sat back in the bed and mused to himself. Potter just seemed full of surprises today. Who knew that the Boy Who Lived could sing?

"_You can run from me,_

_And you can hide from me,_

_But I am right beside you _

_In this life . . ."_

xOxOx

Draco Malfoy found himself under an assault of kisses the second he stepped into Oliver Wood's flat in London. The former Slytherin was shocked- he hadn't expected such brazen behavior from the seemingly innocent Oliver, and was even more surprise when he felt himself being steered towards a room- a bedroom, to be exact.

Draco used one hand to steady himself against the wall outside the bedroom and the other to gently push the other man away. He stared deeply into Oliver's eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes," he muttered, and then slammed his lips back over the blonde's.

Draco could only moan helplessly under Oliver's onslaught, feeling as if things were getting slightly out of control. This was strange . . . he'd always been the one in command when it came to matters of the . . . _bedroom_ . . . but letting Oliver take over felt surprisingly good. He let himself be pushed onto Oliver's bed, amused and turned on by the other man's eagerness and aggressive behavior.

When Oliver skillfully undid the buttons on Malfoy's slacks and slid his hand inside his pants, working his magic with several knowledgeable fingers, Draco knew that it was going to be a long, pleasurable night.

xOxOx

Remus Lupin hated Sirius Black.

Or at least, he desperately wanted to. This was all very _stupid_! They were both fully-grown men, and yet the man he loved was lying in the guest room across the hall, instead of in his arms. At the moment, they were lonely, miserable, hurting, angry and stubborn. The only way that the torture would end was if one of them relented, and Remus knew that Sirius would never- it just wouldn't be him.

Was Sirius right? Would he have to put away his desire for more aside to salvage their relationship?

Bur it wasn't fair! Why was _he_ making all of the compromises here?

_I should leave him,_ thought Remus angrily, clutching a pillow to his chest like a child. _That'll make him see . . . see that I'm very serious about this, and that he can't always push me around and have his way! _

Remus got off the bed, turned on the light and began removing his clothes from the dresser, throwing them onto the bed in a huff. He'd removed most of his belongings when he heard Sirius ask, "What are you doing?"

He turned around and gave his lover a look. "I'm leaving. If you aren't willing to compromise, then I really don't see how this is going to work between us, Sirius. You can't always have your way."

"Don't do this Remus. This is stupid . . ."

"I _know_! But year after year, I give in to you for some reason or other about _something_, and I'm _tired _of it! Once in a while_, you have to give in_."

Sirius just watched impassively as Remus continued to pack. ". . . Where will you go?"

"Harry."

"Harry will be busy . . . trying to get his baby-" Sirius winced. "His baby from Snape."

"Then I'll go somewhere else."

". . . Wait! Remus . . . don't. I . . . I'll talk."

xOxOx

When Harry finally emerged from the bathroom with a billow of steam following him, Severus looked up again from another student essay and raised an eyebrow at the younger man. "Ahem. I do believe that Poppy included a _top_ with those pants."

Harry, shirtless and grinning, just nodded. "I don't sleep with tops on." He gave Snape a sly look. "Why? Am I making you _uncomfortable_?"

Severus snorted. "No."

"If you say so." Harry slithered into the bed, diving underneath the covers with a heavenly sigh. He cuddled up next to Snape's hip and smiled pleasantly. "I swear . . . where on _earth_ did you find this _bed_? Every time I get in it, I don't want to get out!"

Severus suddenly scoffed loudly, making Harry jump. "The _audacity_ of this Hufflepuff! Does this child _really_ expect me to be able to read such tiny handwriting? I should deduct twenty points for-"

"Don't do that! After all, it only means that this student wrote more than the others," reasoned Harry.

Severus didn't say anything, but scribbled 'minus five' across the top of the essay.

Harry grinned. "Pretty soon, all the students will start thanking me for getting better grades in your class."

"Hmm . . ."

Yawn. ". . . Put the work away, Severus. Let's go to bed."

"Mmm . . ."

"Severus!"

With an exasperated sigh, Harry sat up, took Snape's face in his hands, and leaned over to place a seductive, lingering kiss on his lips. When Harry pulled back, their eyes locked, and he couldn't help but notice the shock and a hint of . . . desire? . . . in Severus' obsidian eyes.

"Bed. Now." Harry ordered before lying back down and rolling over onto his side with his back to his future husband. Hiding a smile and stifling a giggle, Harry felt a wave of an unidentifiable emotion swell up within his chest as he heard Severus put away the papers and extinguish the lights.

"Infernal brat . . ."

xOxOx

Oliver woke slowly the next morning, his head reeling as images from the night before flashed through his mind. He'd had one _incredible _night with Draco Malfoy, of all people, and for some crazy, oddball reason, he was not regretting it in the least. It wasn't _just_ what they'd shared in the bed. Dinner . . . had been amusing, to say the least. Once you got past the blonde's arrogance, he was actually a pretty decent person. After all, he _had_ abandoned his family, wealth and title for the Order . . .

Staring at the wall, Oliver wondered if Draco would be willing to go out with him again.

He rolled over to face the bed's other occupant, only to find that he wasn't there. Oliver quickly got out of bed and shoved on a pair of pants, vaguely noticing that Draco's clothes were nowhere to be found. After sweeping through his flat, he found that the man in question was also missing.

Oliver swore loudly and stalked back into his bedroom. He'd left no note- Draco had just . . . left. What the hell was that all about? Had he been wrong about Draco? _Had_ he just been after a night of mindless sex?

Out of anger, Oliver went over to the bed and roughly yanked off the thin sheet that he and Draco had slept under the night before. His eyes widened when he saw what lay underneath it.

There lay Draco's fancy, expensive quill . . . snapped in two.

xOxOx

Severus Snape stared down at the sinful creature lying carelessly in his bed, totally oblivious to the fact that the rest of Hogwarts was alive and buzzing. Harry was sprawled out across the bed, one side of his face completely devoured by the pillow on which his head rested, legs and arms draped all over the place. This would _not_ do. Hadn't he informed the boy that they would be quite busy the next day? Severus was already washed and dressed, ready to go. With an exasperated sigh, he leaned over the bed and shook Harry's shoulder a little too roughly.

"Wake up," he snapped.

Harry mumbled something incoherent, but kept on sleeping.

"Wake _up_ damn it!"

". . . G'way . . ."

Severus roughly yanked the blankets from the bed, not realizing that Harry's legs were tangled up in them. So when he dumped the sheets on the floor, Harry went with them, a loud THUD sounding as his body hit the floor.

"Well, _now_ I'm awake!" barked Harry, eyes flaring with annoyance. "Jeeze . . . you didn't have to nearly kill me to get me up!"

Severus snorted. "Just get dressed. There are some clothes for you on the dresser. We'll eat a quick breakfast and then start our day. We should begin by going to your apartment and _what the hell are you doing_?!"

Harry, in the middle of undressing, stood in nothing but his boxers as he looked up at Snape innocently. "I'm going to put on some clothes, like you told me to. Is there a problem?"

Severus' right eyebrow began to twitch. "Don't make me regret yesterday's decision," he growled and stalked out of the room.

Harry just rolled his eyes and put on the clothes that had been provided for him. He quickly brushed his teeth (with Severus' toothbrush) and made a pathetic attempt to tame his hair. Then he waltzed of the chambers and met up with Snape in the hall. "All set!"

They started walking towards the Great Hall, aware that several students were staring at them as they walked past. Severus scared them off instantly with his patented death glare.

"Here's what will happen," Snape said underneath his breath to Harry, "you will NOT, under any circumstances, mention our . . . _arrangement_ with any members of the staff. They're all nosy little busy bodies, and will just end up pestering the hell out of me. We will tell them that you are living in my chambers due to the increased threat on our well-being. Is that understood?"

Harry made a face. "Well, if you're that _paranoid_, just grab a couple of muffins off the table while I wait in the hall and let's get going. If we're still hungry, we can eat at my place."

Severus nodded and, when they were at the Great Hall, went inside through the teacher's entrance. Harry stood outside, greeting students as they walked past. It took Snape longer than Harry anticipated to come back with the food, but when he did, Harry was almost blown away as the older man stormed past, his face as red as Ron's hair.

Harry gaped and quickly followed after him. "Whoa! What happened?"

"Here!" He shoved three blueberry muffins into Harry's arms. "_Damn_ that man!"

"Who?"

"ALBUS!"

" . . . Do I even want to _know_ what happened?"

"Meddling old coot . . ."

Harry just shook his head and munched on his breakfast, reminding himself to ask Severus just what Dumbledore had said later on.

"_This_ is where the Great Harry Potter lives?" demanded Snape, taking in Harry's _very_ humble abode with mild disgust. Did the boy have no sense of style?

"Hey! This is a bachelor pad, and this is what they're supposed to look like," Harry said in his defense with a grin. "Hey, you didn't eat anything earlier. Are you hungry?"

Severus wasn't in the mood to test any of the boy's cooking, knowing how awful he was at potions. "Some toast and tea should suffice," said Severus easily.

"Ok! Er . . . I guess you can look around, if your want." Harry disappeared into the kitchen as Severus retreated into the back of the apartment. Harry had just begun boiling the water for tea when someone knocked on the door. He went up to answer it, but paused to glance out the peephole. It was Oliver.

Harry quickly opened the door and let him in. "Hey Oliver! What's up?"

He looked nervous and slightly embarrassed. "Um, can we talk?"

"Sure. Let's go into the kitchen."

The two sat at the kitchen table, and Harry noted Oliver's flushed face and his reluctance to meet his eyes. "What's going on?"

"Harry . . . I'm sorry! I . . . Last night . . . Last night, I slept with Draco Malfoy."

Author's Note: Hahahahaha! I'm evil! What will be Harry's reaction? I'd love to hear your suggestions, so please review!

The song used in this chapter is "In This Life" by Chantal Kreviazuk.

_Next chapter: Well, some of this was supposed to happen in **this **chapter, but this chapter kinda ran away with me. Sooo . . . in chapter nine, people find out, a confrontation between Oliver and Draco (!), Draco gets pissed and more . . . _


	9. Chapter Nine

Baby, Oh Baby!

Chapter Nine

"Harry . . . I'm sorry! I . . . Last night . . . Last night, I slept with Draco Malfoy."

Of all the things that Oliver could have said, nothing would have shocked Harry more than this. The younger man struggled to keep his balance in the chair on which he sat, gapping at his dismal looking friend. Oliver's face flushed and he averted his gaze as he fidgeted with the ends of his robe.

"Oliver . . . Oliver, I . . . I don't know what to say . . ." was Harry's weak response. After all, this was really none of his business . . .

Oliver's face fell as he buried his head in his hands. "Oh, god, Harry, I'm so sorry!"

This was the second time that the phrase 'I'm so sorry' had left the Keeper's mouth. Harry scratched the back of his head in confusion. "You're sorry for what?"

"Betraying you!"

"Huh?"

"Harry . . ."

"You're a free man, Oliver. You can shag whoever you want to!"

"But . . . but . . . Harry, I _love_ you!"

This caused Harry's mouth to drop open. So everyone _was _right! Oliver really had feelings for him! Deep ones, at that. _Oh, no . . . how am I going to let him know about Severus without breaking his heart?_ "Oliver, you can't. Severus and I . . ."

Oliver winced, nodding reluctantly. "Yeah . . . Malfoy told me."

"_I'm_ sorry. People tried to tell me that you were interested, but I didn't believe them," mused Harry lightly.

"Why not? Can't picture yourself with me?" Oliver asked miserably.

"No! No, it's not that! It's just . . . dating you would be like dating _Ron_ or whatever, and that would be too weird!" Harry moved his chair next to Oliver's and placed a sympathetic hand on the older man's back. "You're a really great guy, just not . . ."

"Yeah, I get it."

It was Harry's turn to wince. How could he say this without hurting Oliver's feelings any more? "Don't say it like _that_! I mean . . . you're . . . well . . ."

"Harry, really . . . I get it."

"Oh."

They sat in silence, taking turns sighing and sneaking each other nervous and hesitant glances when the other wasn't looking. Clearly, both young men were unsure as to how they were going to continue their relationship, now that (almost) everything was out in the open.

Harry spoke first. "Well . . . what are you going to do? About Draco, I mean. How . . . what happened?"

Oliver went on to describe how Malfoy had surprised him at a photo signing, blatantly flirted with him- including the deal with the quill, and finally how Malfoy had forced him to go out to dinner that night. Harry went from amused, to embarrassed and shocked, and amused again as Oliver told the whole story.

"And then we went to this great restaurant, had a surprisingly good conversation and then we went to my place and . . . well . . ." Oliver blushed. "You know."

Harry smiled. "Sounds to me like you had a pretty nice date."

"Er . . . yeah. I thought so too. However, when I woke up this morning, he was gone!"

"_No!_ He left? No note, no nothing?"

"Nothing. I must've done something wrong . . . Although I honestly can't figure out what."

"Well, what makes you say that?"

Oliver produced the snapped quill out of nowhere and places it on the table. "This! He broke it."

Harry looked the gaudy quill over, confused. "But how can you be sure of that? I mean . . . couldn't he- or you- have just . . . rolled over on it?"

"Come on Harry! Quills are more durable than that, especially if it's expensive. I mean, he practically bit my head off because I twirled the damn thing with me fingers!"

"You're right. I guess he wouldn't have been stupid enough to leave it on the bed where something could happen to it . . ." Harry's eyes twinkled. "Unless you two were too busy getting it on with each other that you just didn't notice."

"Ha, ha. Not funny. I'm serious here! I want to see him again, but if he's mad . . ." Oliver swept a hand through his hair. "What could I have done wrong? Hell, I _know_ I'm not a horrible lover!"

Harry blushed like the innocent virgin that he was. "No, I'm sure you're not . . ."

Oliver noticed and rolled his eyes. "I swear, you need to get laid, Harry! If I weren't so confused right now, I'd sure as hell make an offer to-"

Harry got up and smacked him on the back of the head. "Don't start! Now, I'm gonna give you the address to where Draco works and the one to his apartment . . ." Harry dug a red and gold address book out of a kitchen drawer and copied the aforementioned addresses onto the back of a napkin. He handed it to Oliver. "There. Go find out what went wrong, make it right, and see if this thing between you and Draco can't be something more."

Oliver broke out in a grin. "Thanks Harry. You're a lifesaver." He stuffed it into his pocket, stood up and attempted to compose himself. After all, Draco would definitely not be interested in a scruffy looking man. After a few minutes of primping, he became aware of Harry's amused gaze on him. "What?"

"Well . . . it's nice to see you moving on . . ." said Harry smiling widely. "I really hope things work out for you, Oliver."

Oliver couldn't help but notice how attractive Harry looked just then, with his hair as unkempt as usual, emerald eyes shinning and a huge, wide smile on his face. His heart clenched at the thought of what he could not have, but he knew that Harry would never be his. With his thoughts going back to the napkin in his pocket, he vaguely realized that in his desire for Harry, he may have stumbled onto something just as appealing . . .

". . . and if I can help you in any way at all, just ask, okay?" Harry was saying. "So if you need or want something . . ."

"Actually, Harry . . . there _is_ something . . ." Oliver came closer to his perplexed friend until they were barely inches apart. "Can I kiss you?"

Harry's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "But . . . Oliver, I-"

"You say that there can be nothing between us, and I just want to make sure before I leave here today. So, let me kiss you, please. I, no _we_ need to be sure."

". . . alright . . ."

Oliver moved in, taking Harry's face in his hands as he placed a gentle kiss on his friend's lips. Harry's eyes remained wide open as he kept his lips pressed firmly together. He wanted to keep it as chaste and simple as possible, so as not to give Oliver the wrong impression.

_If you didn't want to give him the **wrong impression**, then you shouldn't have let him **kiss you**!_ A part of his brain hissed. Yeah, okay, maybe he should've showed Oliver the door when he'd asked for this particular 'favor', but hell, what could it hurt?

The kiss ended quickly enough. Harry took a step back, his cheeks warm with color, and looked up at his friend hesitantly. Oliver was grinning goofily.

"God, Harry, now I'm _glad_ that I shagged Malfoy last night! That was an awful kiss!" he exclaimed with laughter in his eyes.

Harry's face got even redder. He grabbed Oliver by the arm and steered him towards the front door. After yanking it open, Harry shoved him outside and stuck out his tongue. "Go find Malfoy already! Good luck!" Then he closed the door in Oliver's face.

Shaking his head, Harry went back into the kitchen. "Now, what was I doing . . .?"

"You were just about to tell me what the hell you were doing kissing Oliver Wood."

xOxOx

Draco Malfoy had gone into work earlier than usual that day, in order to get his mind off of some . . . things. Work was one of the few things, besides a good game of Quidditch, that Draco could fully throw himself into and forget about everything else. He loved his job- he was able to enjoy and express himself, not to mention make tons of money, at the same time.

Draco was sitting at his desk in his office on the very top floor of his sky scraper office building, sifting through design after design of various articles of clothing when his secretary, a pretty young woman with raven hair, came over the intercom.

"Draco, dear, there's a _young man_ out here to see you," she practically sang. He could _hear _the smile in her voice.

"What's his name?" he asked lazily, tossing a rather horrid design for a suit into the wastebasket next to his desk. "What company is he from?"

There was a brief pause before she replied, "Oliver Wood. He says you two are old friends."

Draco sneered. Old friends? Like hell. One night of sex didn't make them _old friends_. "Send him away."

". . . he says he's not leaving until you see him."

"Tell him to go to hell."

There was a moment of silence in which Draco assumed that Oliver had taken a hint and left. _Good riddance! I hope I never see that bastard again._ However, Malfoy's relief was shot to hell when the yelling began.

"DRACO, OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" shouted Wood as he began banging against Draco's steel door. "I'll stay out here all day if I have to, but you WILL talk to me!"

Draco jumped to his feet, his normally pale face red with anger. He strode across the room and yanked the door open. "Just who the hell do you think you are, huh? How _dare_ you come barging in here like you _own the place _or something, demanding to see me? You have absolutely _no right_!"

Oliver was slightly taken aback by Malfoy's anger. "Woah, whoa! Look, I just want to talk . . . about last night," he added softly.

Draco was aware of his secretary leaning over her desk to get a better view of the action. Sparing her an evil glare, he grabbed the front of Oliver's shirt and pushed him roughly into his office, slamming to door shut behind him. "It seems to me like you came here to cause a scene, Wood," he sneered. "I don't think we have anything to talk about."

"So it's back to last names, huh?"

"Yes." Draco eyed the older man with suspicion. "How the hell did you find me?"

"Harry gave me your address this morn-"

At the mention of Harry's name, Draco's face twisted and on it formed a look of pure rage. "POTTER?!" he exploded. "You went to POTTER this morning?! After last night?! You _bastard_!!"

"I'M a bastard?!" Oliver demanded incredulously. "ME? Last NIGHT?! YOU were the one who left without _a goddamn word_ the next morning, so don't you-"

"It's always about damn Potter! _Saint_ Potter! I wish he'd go to hell, I hope the Death Eaters get him, I hope-"

Oliver quickly advanced on Draco, grabbing his arm roughly and pulling him close. By now both men were seething with anger, both engulfed by the feeling that they had been done wrong the previous night. "Don't you _dare_ say another bad word about Harry! After all he's done for your sorry ass, after all he's done for _all of us_! So just shut your mouth!"

Draco growled and shoved Oliver back so hard that he almost fell to the floor. "If he's so _great_, then why don't you go crawling back to him, huh? Go and screw _him_, because I know that's what . . . _who_ you wanted last night!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Oliver demanded, a scowl on his face. "You whiny little brat! You _knew_ how I felt about Harry the night you came to that store, flirting with me and all of that. You knew!"

_Yeah, and maybe I was stupid enough to believe that I could actually change that._ Draco suddenly felt drained. His eyes fluttered closed warily. "Yes, you're right, I did. Now would you please leave? I have work to do."

"I want to know why you left last night."

Draco laughed bitterly and plopped down in his big black office chair. "You _ass_. Don't pretend as if you don't know."

"I'm serious! What did I do wrong?"

". . . you're pathetic. Pretending as if you're innocent and clueless isn't going to get you _anywhere_ with me. Hell, _admitting_ what you did won't either. _Nothing_ will, so just _get lost_!"

Oliver frowned. This hadn't gone the way he'd planed. He had told himself that he wouldn't yell under any circumstances, but the ridiculous things that had come out of Malfoy's mouth . . . He sighed. "Fine. I'll leave, give you time to cool down . . . but I'll be back. I'm not giving up. I, er . . . I like you, and I hope that we can at least be friends . . . if not more." He fished something out of his pocket and threw it onto Draco's desk, then left.

"Damn, that bastard," Draco swore loudly, glaring at the plain box resting in front of him. "Just _what_ is he playing at?"

xOxOx

"You were just about to tell me what the hell you were doing kissing Oliver Wood."

Harry whirled around to face one very angry Severus Snape standing in the door way of the kitchen, conveniently blocking the only exit out of the room. Harry nervously began wringing his hands together. Severus had _seen_ the kiss?! This was bad news and the mildly possessive look in Snape's dark eyes that made Harry gulp didn't help at all.

"Umm . . . well . . ."

"Maybe I didn't mention this before," said Severus in a silky, surprisingly clam voice as he seemingly glided closer to Harry, who was shuffling around anxiously. "But along with a divorce, I most certainly will _not_ tolerate any sort of straying."

"Straying . . . right . . . no straying . . ." muttered Harry. By now, he was backed up against the kitchen counter, hands gripping it tightly as Snape towered over him. He couldn't take his eyes off of Severus' black ones. "But . . . you see . . . you _totally_ misunderstood the situation." Harry laughed a little.

"Oh, did I?" Severus replied disbelievingly. "You can't deny that you were kissing him."

"Well, _yes_ I _let_ him kiss me . . . which was really a stupid idea, now that I think about it . . ." Harry rushed on. "But that was only because he fancied himself to be in love with me . . ."

"Uh-huh . . . and . . ." Snape lowered his face close to Harry's.

"And he was _trying_ to get over me . . . Draco- he wanted him, you see . . ."

"Right . . . and . . ." Closer still . . .

"And I made the kiss as _horrible_ as I could, so he would loose interest . . ."

"Hmm . . ." Even closer. "And did he?"

"Er . . . I _believe _so. I threw him out and sent him straight to Malfoy! See, it was nothing! Now, I think I should get back to packing-" He tried to slip to the right and away from Severus, but the man placed a firm, but gentle hand on his arm, keeping him in place.

"You're not going anywhere." These punctuated words were said against Harry's lips, sending shivers up and down the younger man's spine.

"Er . . . I'm not?"

"No. When get through with you, you won't even want to _look _at another man ever again."

xOxOx

Remus watched in astonishment as Sirius finished packing his belongings for him. After a rather eventful night of heart-breaking discussions and . . . lovemaking (Remus winced) . . . Sirius was back to his usual impulsive, reckless self. His trademark grin that screamed, "I'm up to something, look at me" was firmly in place as he threw the last article of clothing into the suitcase. He snapped it closed and turned to Remus, still smiling.

"Okay, let's start on my stuff."

Remus just stood there gapping. What the hell had he agreed to last night?

"C'mon, c'mon! Let's go! You were right Remus, this is going to be great." He grabbed his lover's arm and pulled him over to the closet where he began tossing clothes out and onto the floor.

Suddenly Remus had an idea. A deliciously _wicked_ one, of course, but one that would ensure that he got _everything _that he wanted . . .

xOxOx

Oliver Wood was becoming a stalker. He found himself driving past Draco Malfoy's office building so often that a police officer had pulled him over and asked Oliver if he was lost. After assuring the cop that everything was alright, he decided to enter a café across the street from Malfoy's headquarters and sat by a window, drinking tea and pretending to read a magazine, while, in all actuality, his eyes kept darting over the office across the street.

He for a while he sat there until, at about lunch time, he noticed a sleek silver BMW convertible exit the building's parking garage, it's driver speeding down the road like hell on wheels. A silver, high priced car? Oliver immediately jumped to his feet and ran out to his own car, cranking it on and following the BMW. If he was correct, driver inside should be no other than Draco Malfoy . . .

However, the convertible's windows were tinted, just like his own windows, so Oliver couldn't see a thing as both cars came to a stop at a light. Oliver slammed his car in reverse, backed up a bit, and slid his car into the lane next to the other.

To his luck, the convertible's top began to slide back, revealing the person inside. It was indeed Draco Malfoy, looking devilishly handsome in the sports car. He couldn't help but gape at the sexy man, who'd taken the tie from around his neck, removed his jacket, rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt and unbuttoned the top few buttons of it. The sight of Draco like that brought back delicious memories of the night before.

He was snapped back to reality by the honking of horns, realizing that Draco had already sped off, leaving him sitting at a now green light. He drove on, catching up with Draco's car a little up the road. He hung back, so as not to be obvious, and followed the other man directly to his house.

When Draco drove his car into the driveway of his huge mansion, Oliver jumped out of his and greeted the other man as he headed towards the door of his house.

"Draco! Wait a minute!"

The blond whirled around, dropping his keys. "What . . . you _freak_!" he exclaimed, noticing the car that Oliver had arrived in. "Were you _following _me? Have you become some deranged stalker or something?"

"I think so," said Oliver softly. "This is what you're driven me to."

Draco didn't say anything.

"Did you like my gift?"

". . . I haven't opened it yet."

Oliver was relieved. At least he hadn't said, "No you fool, I _incinerated_ it!"

"While I'm mildly flattered that you'd stalk me, Wood," Draco said as calmly as possibly, "I think you should just _back off_. I told you to get lost, and I meant it."

"Come on, I just want to talk!"

"No! Go away!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

Draco looked confused. "What the hell is wrong with you? Can you not comprehend my words or something?" He suddenly laughed. "Oh, I get it. This is some joke, right? You and Potter are probably laughing it up behind my back, huh? Trying to have some fun at my expense! Well, fuck you!"

"What? Why do you keep dragging Harry into this? He has nothing to do with-"

"Oh, he doesn't, does he? Get out of my face, you lying bastard!" With that, Draco swooped up his keys and opened the door to his mansion. He quickly went inside and slammed the door in Oliver's face.

So . . . this had something to do with Harry, huh?

xOxOx

"You're not going anywhere." These punctuated words were said against Harry's lips, sending shivers up and down the younger man's spine.

"Er . . . I'm not?"

"No. When get through with you, you won't even want to _look _at another man ever again."

The impact of those words and the voice in which they were said caused Harry to shake slightly. Oh, lord, what had he gotten himself into? What was Severus going to do to him?

Severus dug on hand into Harry's soft hair and the other slid around his waist, pulling Harry as close to Snape's body as possible. Harry let out a little squeak as Severus swooped down and pressed their lips together. Harry helplessly opened his mouth to Snape's demanding tongue and gasped in surprise as the older man suddenly slammed his hips against Harry's. The man's knowledgeable hands began roaming all over Harry's body.

_Oh, my . . ._ was Harry's only coherent thought as Snape continued his devastating kiss.

Harry found himself enjoying this very much, and showed it by willingly kissing Severus back. But just as he was getting into it, Severus pulled back, leaving Harry confused, disheveled and whimpering.

Severus gave Harry his infamous smirk and whispered seductively into his ear, "Touch another man again, and _that_ is what _you'll _be missing." With that, Snape spun around and swept from the kitchen, robes impressively billowing out behind him as he went.

Harry blinked rapidly, steadying himself against the counter. He just stood there, dazed for a while, until something hit him. Grinning foolishly, he practically skipped into his bedroom and found Severus eying some photos of him and his various Hogwarts friends that sat on his dresser.

"There are quite a lot of pictures of you and Mr. Finnegan," Severus noted a bit harshly.

Harry laughed. "You're jealous! You're jealous of Oliver, and now you're jealous of Seamus! This is great!"

Severus pinned Harry with an evil glare. "I am _not_ jealous of either of the two," he asserted, although deep inside, he did feel a little threatened by Wood. After all, the boy was closer to Harry's age, successful, good natured, and they had a lot in common. Severus did _not_ want to loose this chance for a baby.

"Uh huh. That's why you practically threw me on the counter and had your way with me back there. It's alright- I'm not going anywhere, Severus."

"Since you like staring at those photos so much," Harry said easily, "You can pack those up for me . . ."

xOxOx

"There is no need for you to tell that insane Godfather of yours about our decision right now," Snape asserted as he eyed the paper bag that Harry was carrying into the kitchen, trailing behind him slowly.

"You're lucky, then, that no one answered the _many_ times I tried to reach them." Harry was a little worried. Where could they have gone off to? _"And_ I'd appreciate it if you didn't call him names, and I think we should," said Harry, placing the bag on the table in the kitchen. "I mean, he'll bitch and moan at first, but once he realizes that there isn't anything he can do about it, he'll get over it. And the sooner he gets over it, the better." Harry produced two plates and forks out of nowhere, along with two mugs filled with tea. "After all, I would like to have him give me away at the wedding, since you _insist _on me being the woman here."

Snape opened the bag and pulled out its contents. White boxes. "I hope you're ready for the explosion that's sure to come after we tell him. What _is_ this?"

"Chinese food."

"Chinese?" He immediately began tearing at the boxes with interest.

"Who would have guessed? Severus Snape, Chinese food fiend." 1

Harry was about to dig in when the doorbell rang. "I'll be back in a sec." He leisurely strolled over to the front door and looked out of the peep hole. There were Ron and Hermione.

_Well . . . they're here . . . might as well tell them . . ._

Harry took a deep breath, opened the door and grinned. "Hey guys, you won't believe what I have to tell you . . ."

Author's Note: Cliffy, again, I know. Can't help it. Anyway, unless you guys want me to I won't keep putting the 'next chapter' notes up. Someone got on me about that . . .

1 Okay, I admit I stole this idea from Sushi's "Semper Fi", which is a side story to her fics _Marching Off to War, Home Fires _and, my favorite, _Civil War_, which was yanked off of because of the NC-17 ban. I recommend that you read them, in that order, on her website . If that link doesn't show up, and you want to read it, e-mail me and I'll give it to you. She has seemed to disappear from


	10. Chapter Ten

Baby, Oh Baby!

Chapter Ten

"There is no need for you to tell that insane Godfather of yours about our decision right now," Snape asserted as he eyed the paper bag that Harry was carrying into the kitchen, trailing behind him slowly.

"You're lucky, then, that no one answered the _many_ times I tried to reach them." Harry was a little worried. Where could they have gone off to? _"And_ I'd appreciate it if you didn't call him names, and I think we should," said Harry, placing the bag on the table in the kitchen. "I mean, he'll bitch and moan at first, but once he realizes that there isn't anything he can do about it, he'll get over it. And the sooner he gets over it, the better." Harry produced two plates and forks out of nowhere, along with two mugs filled with tea. "After all, I would like to have him give me away at the wedding, since you _insist _on me being the woman here."

Snape opened the bag and pulled out its contents. White boxes. "I hope you're ready for the explosion that's sure to come after we tell him. What _is_ this?"

"Chinese food."

"Chinese?" He immediately began tearing at the boxes with interest.

"Who would have guessed? Severus Snape, Chinese food fiend." 1

Harry was about to dig in when the doorbell rang. "I'll be back in a sec." He leisurely strolled over to the front door and looked out of the peep hole. There were Ron and Hermione.

_Well . . . they're here . . . might as well tell them . . ._

Harry took a deep breath, opened the door and grinned. "Hey guys, you won't believe what I have to tell you . . ." With a hesitant grin, he stepped back to let his friends inside, closing the door behind them. As they seated themselves on the couch, he took a deep breath, trying to decide the best way to handle the situation.

He was spared the need to say anything as Severus came out of the kitchen and into the living room with a box of Chinese food and a pair of chopsticks in his hand. "Who was it?" Then he caught sight of the couple in the living room. "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley," he said stiffly, sending Harry a questioning glance.

Harry gave him a very significant look that said, 'I'm going to tell them', which sent Snape quickly in the other direction, towards the bedroom. Much to Hermione and Ron's shock, Harry practically leapt on the man, dragging him into the living room and forcing him to sit down across from them.

"You are NOT leaving me with this!" Harry said, plopping down next to Severus.

"If you insist." He said rather nonchalantly, digging his chopsticks into what turned out to be noodles. Expertly manipulating the wood sticks, he was able to places a good amount of food into his mouth without trouble.

Harry was momentarily distracted by Severus' display, but then turned and assessed his friend's confused faces.

"Harry, what is HE doing here?" demanded Ron angrily, fixing the man with a glare. Severus just raised a eyebrow at him coolly in response and continued to eat.

"You see . . . well, Hermione, I did tell you that I'd asked Severus . . . well, you know . . ." Harry blushed. Ron looked a little confused, then widened his eyes. Why hadn't his wife told him?

Hermione nodded. "But from the sound of things, it hadn't gone as planned . . ." But Snape was in Harry's apartment now, sitting there, eating as if nothing was going on, and as if he had every right to be sitting in Harry's living room devouring Muggle food that Harry had more than likely paid for.

Harry couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of Snape eating with the chopsticks. He looked so graceful using them, as if he'd been born with a pair in his hands. And the way his tongue was darting out to meet the noodles that hung from the sticks . . . the same tongue that had taken over . . . _ravished_ his mouth just a couple of hours ago . . .

Someone _help_ him. He was getting turned on, sitting there watching Severus eat with a pair of chopsticks. But after that little . . . er, _display_ in the kitchen earlier, he was now _very_ interested in the sexual side of Severus Snape. Even packing, he'd had a hard time keeping his eyes off of the man as he bent over to put things in boxes, or to lift them up- without the use of magic. He'd removed his robes, rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt . . . muscles in his arms that Harry hadn't seen, or maybe noticed, suddenly became _very _interesting as they worked strenuously.

Harry suspected that Severus' temporary abandonment of magic was all a show, to get Harry flustered and worked up.

_And boy, had it worked. _

Harry knew his face was on fire, and he forced his concentration back to his friends who were now looking at him suspiciously.

"You two are _doing_ it, aren't you?" Ron asked harshly.

_. . . doing it . . .? Oh god, I hope we will sometime soon . . ._ "Er . . . doing what?"

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh. "The baby, Harry! You're going to have the _baby_ together!"

"Oh! Oh, yeah, we are!"

Ron shivered. All he could think about was ugly Snape-babies infesting and taking over the planet . . . "Are you sure you want to do this, mate?" He glared at Snape, who seemed off in his own little world, eating food out of a white box with sticks. It didn't even look like the man cared one bit what was going on, or the _distress_ that Harry seemed to be under at the moment. The _bastard_ . . .

"Yes, Ron," Harry said. "I'm going to do this. However, there is more . . ."

"More? MORE?" Ron demanded. "What is this bastard making you do, Harry?"

Severus finally spoke up. "While I appreciate your defending Harry's honor, Mr. Weasely, I ask that you refrain from calling me names, especially those that do not apply to me. I'm quite certain that my parents were wedded when I was born." With that, he continued to eat.

The three younger adults sat frozen in various degrees of shock. Harry and Hermione were surprised by Snape's use of Harry's first name, and . . . _I appreciate your defending Harry's honor_? Where the hell had all of that come from? Ron's left eye began to twitch in anger, until Hermione began rubbing his leg to soothe him.

Harry finally broke the silence. "Well, guys, you see . . . I . . . Severus and I . . ." His eye caught Snape eating again, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"Why do you keep calling him _Severus_?" Ron spat, his face red.

"Well, there's a good reason for that . . . besides the fact that he's about to be the father of my child. It's like this . . . we . . . we're, um, uh . . . how can I put this? You see . . ." Harry fidgeted, not knowing how to drop the bomb and control the damage that was sure to come at the same time. Suddenly his head snapped around and he glared at Snape. "Well, help me out here, will you?!"

The man's shoulder's began to shake and a smirk appeared on his face.

"Oh, I bet you think this is funny, don't you?" snapped Harry.

"Watching you babble incoherently has recently become a favorite pass-time of mine," said Severus, a noodle sliding into his mouth. "Since you do it so much." The older man's tongue darted out to lick up the bit of sauce that lingered on the corner of his mouth, causing Harry to gulp.

_I can't take anymore of this! _"And will you stop EATING that? God . . ."

"What's wrong, Harry? Getting a bit . . . uncomfortable?" One black eyebrow rose suggestively.

Harry's face nearly caught on fire, Ron leapt to his feet and Hermione's mouth formed a tiny 'O' as she tried to keep the blood from rushing to _her _face. What had she and Ron stumbled into? Were Harry and Snape having a little . . . fling? _No. That's ridiculous . . . isn't it?_

"DON'T YOU TALK TO MY BEST FRIEND LIKE THAT!! AND WHAT ON EARTH DOES HE MEAN BY THAT ANYWAY?!" Ron roared.

"Ron, Severus and I are getting married!" Harry rushed out, avoiding the gaze of his friends.

That certainly took the wind out of the red-head's sails. After a brief period of staring at Harry in astonishment, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and Ron passed out, crumpling to the floor. Harry was immediately at his friend's side, shaking him a little roughly and calling out his name. Severus was just laughing softly to himself.

Hermione got to her feet, rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her swollen stomach. "I swear . . . you'd think that _he _was the pregnant one, with all of the fainting that he's been doing lately!" She had just whipped out her wand when Snape said,

"You can put your wand away, Mrs. Weasley. I do believe that he's coming to. And unless you want to snap your friend's neck, Harry, I suggest you stop shaking him."

Harry blushed and let go of Ron, causing his head to hit the floor with a thunk.

"OUCH! Harry . . . what the hell? Where am I?" Ron asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"On the floor in my living room, you dumbass," Harry said affectionately, then grinned. "You FAINTED."

Ron smiled sheepishly. "Oh, that would explain it then. Someone help me off this floor."

Hermione helped her husband up, eyeing him carefully. He stood there, massaging his head and grinning as if Harry hadn't just given him the shock of his life. "You seem to be in a good mood," she said slowly, "given what Harry just said."

"Said? What? What did Harry say? Is that why I fainted?"

There was a collective sigh from the group, followed by even more snickers from Severus.

"Ron, Severus and I are getting married, so that we can raise this baby together. And don't you faint again!" begged Harry nervously.

". . . MARRIED?! WHAT THE . . . HARRY ARE YOU **CRAZY**?!!"

"Ron, please!"

"Hermione, you talk some sense into him _right now_ or I'll . . ." said Ron, furiously, on the brink of explosion. Ron fully expected his wife to reason with Harry until he realized what a mistake this all was, and showed this by whipping his head around and pinning an angry gaze on his wife.

Instead of immediately lecturing Harry, Hermione appeared to be thoughtfully considering the matter, mentally weighing out the pros and cons of Harry's decision. This did not sit well at all with Ron.

"HERMIONE!! WHAT ON _EARTH_ IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT?! YOU TELL HIM _RIGHT_ NOW-"

"Ron, please!" Hermione interrupted swiftly. She turned to face an extremely nervous Harry and a slightly amused Severus Snape. "Could you two . . . excuse us? I'd like to talk to Ron privately."

"Er . . . sure, Hermione. C'mon, Severus, we can eat in the kitchen while they . . . talk this out." After sparing Ron one last desperate, pleading glance, he ushered Severus into the kitchen where the older man calmly took a seat at the table.

"Sit down and eat," Snape ordered curtly, his dark eyes following Harry's frame as he paced around the kitchen, "before you wear a hole in the floor."

"I can't _eat_ at a time like this!" huffed Harry, tossing his hands up into the air. Despite his words, he plopped down next to Severus at the table and took out a box of his own. Using a fork, he dug into some noodles, simply going through the motions as his mind wandered back to the conversation he'd had in the living room. What could Hermione be discussing with Ron? Did she approve? Disapprove?

"The opinion of your friends matters very much to you," Severus said evenly.

Harry snapped out of his thoughts, slurping up a noodle. "Well, _yeah_. Don't tell me you just figured that one out."

Severus glared. "Don't get smart with me. And I didn't _just notice_. I've always known. However, I think you will find that if you continuously look to your peers for approval, they will more than likely let you down some day, in some way."

Harry frowned. "Are you saying that I _shouldn't_ consult others when I make important decisions in my life?"

"Your decisions are just that. They are _yours_, and yours alone. To seek some form of approval from people who have absolutely nothing to do with the matter at hand is . . ."

"Is what?" Harry asked quietly.

"Potter, I know that for all of your life, others have made choices for you. Dumbledore, Black and Lupin . . . even me." Severus paused to take a deep breath. "Well, you are quite grown now, and one would _think_ that you would _prefer_ to have independent thoughts."

"If I didn't have _independent thoughts_, then I wouldn't have asked you to do this with me," Harry shot back, roughly slamming the carton on the table. "And I don't know what happened to _you_ that made you so cynical about people and relationships, but really, don't blame it on me! And as for my decisions having nothing to do with my friends and family, you're wrong because-" Harry stopped in mid-rant, as if something had dawned on him. "Well."

"What?" Severus smirked. "You know that I'm right."

"No, you're _not_ right," Harry quickly put in. "I _should_ talk to the important people in my life about life-altering decisions, but I _shouldn't _let them change my mind if I'm really adamant about doing something. And I haven't."

". . . I suppose you're correct there. You _are_ rather headstrong."

"I know." Harry looked down at the noodles he'd been eating and began picking at them. "Hey, what was that all about, anyway?"

"What was _what_ all about?"

"The _noodle_ thing, of course! You did that on purpose!" accused Harry with a tiny smile on his face. "You did, didn't you?"

Severus looked away innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, right!"

"I was just trying to eat my meal."

"Uh huh. So what was up with that thing you said earlier? Something about my honor?"

". . ."

"I see. You like to provoke me."

"As of late, I've noticed that you have the most amusing reactions to provocation," Snape said, getting to his feet and moving to the refrigerator. "It's your entire fault, anyway. You didn't have to drag me into there."

"Well, _sorry_, but we're entering a _commitment _here. I just thought that you're want to be involved."

Severus shot Harry a glare over his shoulder, then turned his attention back to the refrigerator.

"Hey, what are you looking for anyway?"

"Ice cream. Do you have any?"

Harry blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I _said-_"

"I know what you said!" Harry stood up and moved Severus out of the way. "First of all, ice cream would be in the _freezer_," he told the older man, opening the top part of the fridge. "And as a matter of fact, I do! Mmmm, _Neopolitan_." He removed the box as Severus conjured up two bowls and spoons.

"What is this _Napoleon_?" Snape suspiciously asked. "Napoleon was a man, not an ice cream."

Harry laughed. "I said _Neopolitan_, not Napoleon. And it's just three flavors in one box. See?" He pulled back the lid to show him.

"Hmm. Why is it called-"

"I have no idea."

Unknown to the two, Hermione and Ron were peeking into the kitchen, straining their ears to hear the conversation in the other room. Ron was horrified- how could Harry be acting so chummy with SNAPE?! None of this was making any sense. He gave his wife a look that conveyed his thoughts, but she just smiled back.

Hermione didn't bother to hide her grin as she stepped into the kitchen, interrupting the little scene on domestic bliss that Snape and Harry had been creating. "I hope I'm not . . . _intruding_ on anything," she said, forcing back a giggle.

Harry, who'd been digging his spoon into the overly frozen ice cream, jumped. His sudden movement sent a chunk of ice cream flying across the room, nearly hitting Severus in the middle of his chest, and would have if he hadn't stepped out of the way at the last moment.

"Umm . . . oops!" Harry laughed. "Sorry Severus."

Snape gave Harry a withering look, and then waved his wand at the already melting ice cream on the floor, making it disappear. He snatched the ice cream box away from Harry and began to eat straight out of it, seemingly ignorant of the other people in the kitchen.

"So, er . . . how are you two with this?" Harry asked nervously.

Ron glared at his wife. "Well, 'Mione thinks that this is a _great_ idea," he spat.

"It is! My main argument against Harry having the operation was that the baby wouldn't have two loving parents," Hermione rationalized. "But if he and . . . _Severus_ are going to be married, and if that's what Harry really, _really wants-"_

The man in question began nodding furiously.

"- Then that's fine. I see no reason why you shouldn't get married. Congratulations, Harry!" The two friends shared an eager hug.

Ron's right eye began to twitch. "I can't believe this! I _can't believe _this! My own _wife_, turning against me! I can't believe that you're going to marry _Severus Snape_! That greasy, snarky, arse licking pedophile!"

"Hey, watch it!" Harry shouted. Snape looked on the verge of breaking, his face twisted in an angry scowl. Good thing his hands were busy with the ice cream, or else they would've been wrapped around his wand by now . . . "How dare you come into _my_ home and call my future husband names?!"

"Well, I haven't called him a thing that he actually _isn't_!" Ron retorted, sticking his nose into the air arrogantly.

"Grow _up_, Ron! I don't want to fight with my best friend. Besides . . ." Harry glanced over and caught Snape's eye. "I'm not asking for your _permission _here. I'm going to do this whether you damn well like it or not! I just thought that you would've liked to be informed, that's all!"

"And we _appreciate_ the fact that you feel that it's very important for you to tell us things like this," Hermione quickly added, seeing that she would have to be the mediator here, since all Snape was doing was shooting death glares at Ron. "Don't we, Ron?"

"Er . . . sure. Whatever. Look, man, is there _anything_ that I can do to change your mind?" Ron asked desperately. "I just don't want you to make a big mistake and then end up regretting it later."

"Thanks for your concern, but I can take care of myself."

"I know. It's just . . ." Ron sighed in defeat. "Well . . . then I guess I should congratulate you. So . . . I _am _going to be the best man?"

_And now for a brief interlude . . ._

"Wow, Sirius, that was . . ."

"Amazingly beautiful, Remus?"

"Well, yes, but . . ."

"You're not regretting it, are you?!"

"NO! Of course not! You . . . you've made me the happiest man alive."

A satisfied smirk. "Well, of course I have! I swear . . . this is the best idea I've ever had!"

"It most certainly is! Then again, that may not be saying much, considering all of the _incredibly_ stupid ideas that you've had over the years . . ."

"Oi!" A playful swat on Remus' behind. "That wasn't very nice! Now turn over, it's my turn to do _you_!"

"So why did you two come over here anyway?" Harry asked, giving Ron a bowl of ice cream before handing the whole box back to Severus. The four were sitting around the kitchen table, although the Snape had distanced himself slightly from the others.

While Hermione happily ate her treat, Ron stared at it as if it were a bowl of roaches. He shivered and gently shoved his bowl towards Hermione, who eagerly snatched it up and dumped his ice cream into her own bowl. Like he wanted to eat anything after Snape. The spoon that Harry had used to scoop the treat up was, he'd noticed, the same one that Severus had been using to eat, and he wanted absolutely _no_ spit transfer going on. Besides, it bothered him enough that Harry and his wife were eating it . . .

"Oh, I almost _forgot_ in all of this excitement!" Hermione exclaimed, eyes sparkling. "You're not going to _believe _this, Harry!"

"What? Is it something about the baby?"

"Nope! Ron got a promotion!"

Harry grinned. "Hey, that's great! Congratulations!"

Ron blushed. "Yeah, well, just so you know, Percy had something to do with it. I know it!"

"Oh, and here I thought that you actually did a competent job at the Ministry," teased Harry.

"Ack! Now you're beginning to sound like Snape! And that's my point- I _don't _do _anything_ at work, so I really don't see how-"

Hermione glared at her husband. "You should not be so willing to admit something like that, Ronald Weasely! Maybe if you'd worked harder, then you wouldn't be sitting here pouting about your brother's kindness!" Ron winced and edged away from his wife.

Snape was smirking evilly at Ron, obviously enjoying his discomfort. _Serves him right!_

"What do you mean, kindness?" questioned Harry after downing a large spoonful of ice cream.

"I bet that Percy was just thinking about the extra expenses that we'd face after the baby arrived, so he probably recommended Ron for the promotion _and_ the big pay raise, so that we'd be able to handle everything. Although I _really _don't know why he'd do that for the brother who teased him for being a Prefect and Head Boy."

"Hey, it wasn't only me! The twins did it too!"

"_Anyway_, Harry, we just wanted to invite you to the celebration dinner tomorrow night we're having at our home," Hermione said excitedly. "_Everyone_ will be there! Even Bill and Charlie."

"Really? It _would _be nice to see everyone together again. Sure, I'll be there! What time?"

"Seven. And don't be late, Harry! I'll send an owl over to remind you a few hours before it starts just so you don't forget."

"I swear, Hermione, you're sounding like Ron's mother more and more everyday!" Harry laughed. "Besides, I don't think you need to go through all of that trouble."

"He's correct, Mrs. Weasley. You do not have to send an owl."

Everyone turned to look at Severus in surprise.

"Er . . . she doesn't?" asked Harry.

"No. I will make sure that we are on time."

"Um, _we_?"

"I _am_ invited, aren't I, Mrs. Weasley?" Snape asked smoothly.

"O-of course! The more the merrier!"

Harry looked at Snape suspiciously. What was he _doing_? _I thought that Severus wouldn't come near a pack of Weasleys if his life depended on it! He must be up to something!_

"Oh, man, Harry, this is _perfect_!" shouted Ron suddenly. Harry and Hermione stared at him as if he'd gone crazy. "Excellent! That would be the perfect time to tell the family the news about you and Snape!"

"Ron . . . why would you want me to do that?"

"_Because_ that'll take the attention off of me! I can see it now- Mom'll be hovering over me all night, kissing and hugging me, Dad'll be slapping me on the back over and over again, the twins will find some way to terrorize me, Ginny, Bill and Charlie will tease the _hell_ outta me, and Percy . . . damn it, he'll be all _smug_, the little bugger! But if _you_ drop your bomb on them, they won't have time to give me a second thought!"

Harry shook his head. "How do you know that they'll act like that? And I thought that you _wanted_ some attention."

"Oh, well, I _did_, way back when! But I don't want to have to go through that again! It was like that when Mione and I told them about the baby."

"Er . . . if Hermione doesn't mind . . ."

"Oh, go on Harry! That'll save me the trouble of finding some entertainment!"

Author's Note: A virtual cookie goes to anyone who can guess what Sirius and Remus are up to! : ) Oh, and don't forget to leave me a review as a birthday gift! And the next chapter bits are back. I find them very helpful in reminding me what I meant to write next.

_Next chapter: We finally find out what happened to Remus and Sirius, Draco and Oliver try to patch things up, and the Weasely dinner party. What happens when you mix one Severus Snape, one Harry Potter, and a bunch of Weasleys? I dunno, if anyone has any ideas, they would be greatly appreciated!_


	11. Chapter Eleven

Author's Note: Okay, so I made a correction here. I got the name of Percy's fiancée wrong. Pps, but, you know, it's been a while . . .

Baby, Oh Baby!

Chapter 11

"You know, you're a real piece of work," Harry commented lightly as he tossed several empty Chinese food boxes into the trash. Just a few minutes earlier, Hermione and Ron had finally gone back to their own home, but only after devouring half the food that Harry had ordered. Now Harry and Severus were left to clean up the mess. Harry didn't really mind—he was still a bit high from receiving the approval of his two best friends, and was in a pretty good mood.

"Am I now?" Severus replied with an eyebrow raised. He leaned back on the counter and sipped his tea nonchalantly, secretly admiring the way the younger man's jeans fit his backside. "Is it _my_ fault that it is so easy to embarrass you in front of your friends?"

Harry didn't answer. "What have you got planned for Ron's dinner?" he asked instead, suspicion rampant in his voice. He was still surprised that Severus had _volunteered _himself to spend an evening with a pack of Weasley children _and_ Sirius and Remus.

The older man managed to look as innocent as a newborn baby. How, Harry had no idea. "Ms. Granger _said _she wanted entertainment . . ."

Harry gave him a look. "You mean _Mrs.Weasley_."

Severus snickered. "After five years of teaching that boy, and from what I witnessed here today . . . I honestly cannot imagine _why_ she would do such a thing to herself."

"Severus! I swear . . . any of that at Ron's party and I'll kick your ass six ways till Sunday," Harry warned as he began to hand wash the dishes. "I'm serious."

"Six ways till Sunday? Idle threats, Mr. Potter will do you no good," he practically purred.

_That voice . . . _"Idle?" Harry scoffed, forcing back a shiver and telling himself to remain focused. "The Weasley's are practically my family, so you'd better be on your best behavior. _No_ more noodle stunts! I'm warning you." Harry launched a handful of soap suds in Severus' direction and laughed with they landed on the other man's head. "Is the soap trying to tell you something about your hair?"

Severus scowled. "Oh, you think that's _funny_?"

With just an evil look from Snape, Snitch-shaped bubbles began flying from Harry's mouth and buzzing around the room. He let out a squeak and covered his mouth . . . which just caused them to pop out of his ears and smaller ones from his nose. Harry's eyes grew big before narrowing into a glare.

Severus just chuckled and placed his cup of tea on the counter before approaching Harry. He took Harry's hands from his mouth and replaced them with his lips.

Harry's knees went momentarily week from both surprise and the tenderness of the kiss. He stumbled back a bit, but found that Severus' hand was there to support him. Snape moved closer and used his tongue to ask for entrance into Harry's mouth; it was instantly granted. The older man's hands wondered down to Harry's backside, which he cupped and squeezed. He growled softly, pleased to find it as nice as he'd imagined.

Harry was so lost in the kiss that he didn't notice Severus' free hand reaching into the soapy water, finding a glass full of the sudsy liquid and lifting it from the sink. His focus instantly returned, though, when Severus quickly stepped back and the glassful of cold soap water was dumped over his head. Harry let out a shriek and went after Snape, who was busy making a hasty exit from the kitchen.

Neither man noticed as the Snitch bubbles floating around the room turned into hearts with wings before popping in a brilliant explosion of sparkling pink and red dust.

xOxOx

"_Look _at this! Just look at this! We are _never_ disappearing like that again, do you hear me, Sirius?" Remus stared at the pyramid of parchment that sat haphazardly on his kitchen table, hesitantly to breathe too heavily from the fear that the owl letters would come crashing down the other floor.

His entire house was a mess. Evidently, without anyone around to receive the letter, many of the owls had taken it upon themselves to either fly around the house in search of a human or take up temporary residence wherever they saw fit. Whichever choice they'd taken, the end result was the littering of bird droppings and feathers all over the place.

"Shoo! Shoo!" Sirius waved some lingering birds away. "Found one from Harry. The _clean_ version of it basically says 'contact me when you get this _or else_.' One's from Ron. We're invited to a party!"

"Great," said Remus. "Let's go contact Harry before we find out what 'or else' means."

The two went into the living room and sat before the fireplace. A minute later they saw Harry's head in the flames, and he looked less than happy.

"Oh! Ahh, Harry, is this a bad time?" Remus asked hesitantly.

Harry's face lit up instantly. "Remus! Sirius! Where the hell have you two been?"

"We just took . . . an impromptu vacation," said Sirius quickly, grinning devilishly. "We'll tell you all about it later."

"You'd better. It was very irresponsible of you to just go off without a word, you know," Harry chastised lightly. "I was worried."

"Sorry Harry," replied Remus, seeing the genuine concern on Harry's face. It _had _been a bad thing for them to do, to just run off without letting anyone know, especially no that trouble appeared to be stirring again.

"What happened to you?" Sirius demanded. "You look all wet."

Harry laughed, amusement replacing worry. "Oh . . . oh, yeah. That was Severus, acting like a child, that's all." Seeing that Sirius was getting upset, and was about to question him about Snape, he changed the question. "You guys are back in time to go to Hermione and Ron's party. Are you going?"

"Sure, we'll be there," said Remus.

"Good, because . . ." Harry looked a little nervous. "Because I'll be making a very important announcement there, and I only want to have to say it once."

Remus and Sirius shared a look, and the same thought. "It must be about the baby," Remus whispered. Sirius nodded.

"What are you two whispering about?"

"Oh, nothing. Sirius and I also have something that we need to say."

". . . uh, okay." Now Harry was insanely curious about what the couple was to reveal the following night. Maybe some clarification on the reason they vanished without a word to anyone? "So . . . I'll see you later, then."

"Of course." Once Harry was gone, Remus lay back on the floor and stared at the ceiling with a sigh, his mind preoccupied with Harry and his baby plans. "So Harry's done it. Snape's going to let him have the baby. I was _so_ sure . . ." He glanced over at Sirius, who had a strange look on his face. His mouth was twitching ever so slightly, as if he were holding back something. "I'm surprised that you don't have something to say about this."

". . . well . . ." was all Sirius managed to say as he tried to keep a straight face.

Remus regarded him suspiciously. "You're okay with this?"

"NO!"

"Well, then, what are you going to do? I'm not going to let you ruin Ron's party by exploding at Harry, so you'll just have to wait and speak to him in private. You'd better be on your best behave—_what is wrong with you?" _ Remus demanded as Sirius dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"I'm _laughing_ because . . ."

"_Because_?"

". . . because if I don't, then I'll _scream_!"

xOxOx

Once Harry was dry and felt that he'd properly reprimanded Severus for his childish stunt, it was off to Diagon Alley for a bit of shopping, much to the older man's dismay. Snape would have returned to his dungeons and left the boy to his own devices but for two things— the obvious being the nagging threat of a Death Eater uprising and possible attack in the near future, and the other . . .

"I'm satisfied with what you've done with the place, but I _definitely_ think the place needs a bit of Harry-fying," Harry said cheerfully, internally laughing at the horrified look on Severus' face.

. . . and the other was that he would _not_ allow Harry to buy anything gaudy to put in his home.

_Their_ home?

Maybe . . . but just thinking about that possibility made his head hurt. He'd consider that a little later.

"If you call what you did with _your_ apartment 'Harry-fying,' then I think I can live without it, thank you very much," said Snape.

So despite his desires to return home, Severus accompanied the younger man. The sun was beginning to set and the Alley's shopkeepers were beginning to light their store, but despite the advancing time the streets were thick with shoppers. Severus was sure now that he'd made the right choice— with so may people around, one could never be too careful.

Harry poked Severus in his soft spot and grinned as Snape's face contorted as he attempted to suppress a batch of giggles. "Let's go in there," he said, pointing to a store selling home accents.

Out of the corner of his eye, Severus spotted the lights in Gringotts spring to life, and with them, an idea formed in his head. One side of his mouth lifted up and he turned away from the store and faced the bank. "Gringotts first."

"Oh, don't worry, I have mon--"

"_I_ have something I need to do. Come _on_."

Curious, Harry followed him into the bank without another word and up to one of the goblin tellers. Was he going to get a chance to see Severus' vault? The one that contained enough riches to rival the Malfoy's?

"I need to get into my vault, please," Severus said, producing the key.

The goblin looked it over, eyed him carefully and nodded. "Right this way."

This time, when Harry moved to follow him, Severus shook his head. "You stay here."

Harry frowned. "But you made such a big deal about coming to Diagon Alley with me! I--"

"Ah, there's Mr. Weasley. I believe he can keep an eye on you."

Harry looked behind him and indeed, Bill Weasley was making his way over to him. "Bill! What a surprise! How long has it been?"

"Too long," the red-headed man replied with a grin, giving Harry a hug. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, Severus wanted to stop in for something—where did he go?" Harry turned back around to find that the potion's master was already gone without him. "Damn! Sneaky bastard!"

Bill shook his head, concerned. "I've been hearing a lot about you and Snape lately . . . most of it I'm hoping isn't true."

Harry grew defensive. "I _like_ Severus. He's not that bad."

A bushy eyebrow rose. "Not _that bad_? Do you hear yourself?"

"You just don't understand. No one does," Harry replied softly, staring down at the floor.

"Understand what? This _infatuation_ you have with Snape?"

"Anything about me!"

Bill winced, aware that the younger man was close to either boiling over with rage or breaking down into tears, neither of which he was eager to see. He'd heard about Harry's infamous temper too many times to count, and crying people made him nervous. "Okay, I'm sorry!" he said hurriedly, awkwardly patting Harry on the back. "I mean, if he's what you _want_ . . . although I can't imagine why you'd want him, then I _suppose_ . . ." Bill gave him a weak smile. "Just, er, don't tell my mother I said that."

Harry laughed and smiled. "Thanks, I won't mention it, I promise. So . . . I'll see you tomorrow night at the party?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss out on the chance to watch little Ronniekins squirm."

"Neither would I." Harry looked around, then down at his watch. What on earth was Severus _doing_ in his vault? "Say, when Severus comes out, tell him I went to that store. He'll know what I mean."

"Sure. Tomorrow then."

Bill watched as Harry left. Why did he get the feeling that there was much more going on than he was aware of?

xOxOx

"So I'll assume, by the sound of your voice, that things didn't go too well with Draco," Harry said sympathetically as he charmed his cell phone to float near his ear. Shopping, he found, was a lot easier with two hands, especially when everyone was competing to grab the best merchandise before it was all gone.

"No," Oliver moped on the other end. "_Apparently_, I've done something wrong according to him, and _apparently_ it has something to do with _you_."

"Damn, doesn't everything?" Harry snatched the last bundle of luxurious, blood red silk bed sheets from beneath the nose of an elderly witch who'd been eyeing them. He gave her an apologetic smile. She glared back. "What'd I do now?"

"How the hell should I know? I mean, it's not like I told him I wanted you to join us in bed or anything."

Harry blushed and ducked behind some floating tapestries. "Merlin, Oliver, I should _hope_ not!" As a group of giggling young witches approached, eyeing him as much as they were eyeing the tapestries, he quickly moved away, scooting over to a shelf of vases.

"Where are you anyway? It's pretty loud . . ."

"In Diagon Alley, getting some stuff to liven up Severus' place a bit . . ." _Opps!_ "Er . . . um, just forget I said that, okay?"

". . . wait . . . fuck, you're _living_ with the snarky bastard?" Oliver demanded.

"Ah, well . . ."

"I'll just take that as a yes. Harry . . ."

"We're _not _talking about me. We're talking about _you_ and how you _screwed up _with Draco," Harry reminded Oliver in a sweet (but fake) voice.

Oliver swore. "How serious are you two getting? Don't tell me you're _sleeping_ with him."

"Oliver, you can't ell me what to do," Harry said angrily. He set the sheet set on top of a pile of books sp that he could pretend to wring someone's neck with his fists. "I'm tire of everyone telling me what to do, that I can't do this, or that, and-- hey! Get back here!" Harry watched helplessly as the old woman he'd snubbed earlier grabbed the sheets and ran off into the crowd.

Harry was ready to start ranting again when someone came up behind him and plucked the phone from the air. He whirled around, ready to fight, but instead squeaked. "Oh, Severus . . ."

The man glared down at him and put the phone to his ear. "Listen, here, Mr. Wood. I put up with enough of you at Hogwarts and I _do not_ appreciate the that way you continuously try to interfere in my personal affairs--"

"AFFAIR?!" Oliver bellowed, instantly misunderstanding the word.

Severus smirked. If the foolish boy was dumb enough to take the word out of context, why _not_ have a little fun? "Yes, _affair_," he purred. Next to him, Harry gapped, a chill racing up his spine. _That_ was one voice he'd like for Severus to use more often . . .

"Now leave Harry alone, and mind your own damn business!" With a wave of his wand, the phone disappeared.

"Oi! I paid a good amount of money for that, you know," Harry said crossly. He was still ticked at both Bill and Oliver for treating him like a child, and was therefore most certainly _not_ in the mood.

Severus could see this and, much to the surprise of both of them, he placed a hand on Harrry's cheek, the touch gentle and brief. "It'll be back in a few hours," he assured the younger man. "Did you find anything?"

This sudden and unexpected public display of affection startled Harry. He placed his own hand on the very spot that Severus had touched. "No . . . some old lady stole the most luxurious sheets I've ever seen right from under my nose . . ." Harry pouted.

"Poor thing," Severus muttered sarcastically. "Come on, let's go home."

Harry smiled, realizing that home was now with Severus. The thought both pleased and frightened him. He had no illusions about domestic life with Severus Snape—it wouldn't be a walk in the park by any means, but to finally be able to have a family of his own . . . any troubles would be more than worth it.

"Yes, let's go home."

xOxOx

Oliver scowled down at his phone as the signal went dead. "Fuck," he muttered, burying his head in his hands. Harry was getting himself into a world of trouble by involving himself with the former Death Eater, and there didn't seem to be anything that he could do to stop him from ruining his life.

"_Fuck_," he said again, this time with more passion.

_Then_ there was this whole issue with Draco he had to sort out, too. What had he done that made the blond so upset? It was driving him up the wall. With few clues from the blond himself (just that it had something to do with Harry), how could he possibly figure out what his error had been and fix it?

He would have to take care of the Draco problem first. The longer he let it go without any resolution, the worse things would get.

So a few minutes later he found himself standing outside of Draco's house again. He looked around, this time _really_ taking in his surroundings and was amazed at how . . . well, _Muggle_ everything looked. A regular house made of brick on an ordinary block of houses built in a similar fashion, a fancy sports car in the driveway, normal looking plants. . .

_Not like Draco Malfoy at all_, Oliver thought, going up to the door and knocking. He shifted his weight nervously as he waited for someone to answer the door.

What the hell was he doing? He had no game plan, no idea of what he was going to say when he came face to face with the other man. He couldn't let things happen the way they did the last time, or else he'd never get anything out of the other man.

No, he had to approach the situation _gently _and _cautiously_—

The door opened.

Oliver stared. "Who the fuck are _you_?"

xOxOx

"Really, Ron, you should've _told _me that your mother turned into a Nazi when it comes to these sort of things!" Hermione hissed at her husband as they began to set the table together in preparation for that night's dinner. "Then I wouldn't have asked her to help us set up."

Ron, still groggy and angry from being yanked off of the couch and out of his peaceful slumber just minutes before by his mother, gave her a glare. "And just where were you when we planned our wedding? Oh, wait, you were one with her! I guess you wouldn't know."

Hermione placed the last plate on the end of the table with a sight. "You know, I'm not quite sure how I feel about being bossed around inside my own home. The party isn't for hours, and she's already got us slaving away, cleaning the place up and everything. Can't you do something?"

Ron gave her and incredulous look as he jammed a bunch of roses he'd conjured up into a crystal vase. "Why would she listen to anything I have to say? Although, technically, I shouldn't have to lift a finger since this party is being thrown for me, you know."

"_You_, Ronald Weasley, should be throwing this party on behalf of your brother," Molly chastised as she came into the room with her wand out. She eyed the table settings and gave a sharp nod. "Good. Hermione dear, you set an extra place at the table."

"Oh, no, Harry's bringing . . ." Hermione drifted off, pursing her lips and looking anywhere but directly at Molly. Ron began to snicker.

"Bringing whom?" Molly demanded.

Ron laughed, no longer tying to hide it. "A guest, mum. A very . . . _special_ guest.

". . . oh. Oh! Is it that nice young man, Oliver Wood? He's such a wonderful young man. I wish Harry would consider him."

Hermione sighed and shot her husband a harmless jinx, which he easily dodged as he continued to laugh. "Ron, I swear, one of these days I'm going to tell Harry that _you_ were the one who spread that rumor about him and Oliver!"

"Rumor? What _rumor_?" he replied innocently. "Besides, I was just looking out for his best interests. He was supposed to _fall_ for the guy, okay?"

Molly was curious. "Then who's his date?"

Hermione smiled at the way 'guest' had turned into 'date.' "It's a surprise." Payback for making them slave away! She glanced at her husband who, she could see, was having similar thoughts. _Ron must be rubbing off on me. _

"You'll just have to wait and see."

xOxOx

The door opened.

Oliver stared. "Who the fuck are _you_?"

A tall, muscular blonde attractive man, but most _definitely NOT Draco,_ stood in the doorway frowning at him . . . with just a tiny towel around his waist. At first Oliver was quite angry that Draco was . . . _entertaining_ another man so soon after their argument, but as he examined the stranger a more closely, Oliver realized that he could see a bit of Draco in the man's face. A relative?

Oliver relaxed a bit. Yes, a relative. Not . . . a boyfriend.

"And just 'oo are _you_?" the stranger asked in a thick French accent.

"I . . . ah, I'm here to see Draco. I'm a business associate," Oliver neatly fibbed.

The man looked confused, scratching his head. "Ah, okay. Come in, I will go and get 'im."

Oliver stepped into the house, closing the door behind him. He watched as the French man went up the stairs and into a room, leaving him alone downstairs.

Once again, the place's interior was quite normal, gleaming hardwood floors, modern style furniture and, what Oliver found strange, on the wall hung paintings in which everything was stationary. Except for the faint smell of boiling potions ingredients that lingered in the air, everything was completely _ordinary_-- he wouldn't have guessed that a wizard lived there.

"Oh, it's you," Draco said dully as he came down the stairs, suspicion in his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Who was that?" Oliver asked, trying to keep any hint of jealousy out of his voice. "The French bloke, I mean."

Draco rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just my favorite cousin that I like to screw when it suits me. _What do you want?_"

Oliver chose to ignore the screwing part, deciding that it was by no means true and was only said to piss him off. Or so he hoped. "I think we should talk. I really, really, really do not know what I did wrong that night. I'm sorry, I was a bit drunk."

"And that's supposed to excuse what you did?" Draco asked crossly, sitting down on the bottom step.

"Well, I—hell, did I _hurt_ you or something?" asked Oliver, truly perplexed.

Draco studied him for a while before answering softly, "Not physically, no."

"Oh. Good."

Draco just stared blankly.

Now Oliver was getting mad. Why was he the only one here making an effort to fix the problem? "Will you just work with me here? I'm trying to find out what I did so that I can apologize, damn it! And I'm telling you the truth that I don't _remember_ doing anything wrong that night!"

Still the blank stare.

"Merlin's balls, what the hell did I do, scream out Harry's name?"

The narrowing of Draco's eyes spoke volumes. Oliver paled.

Well.

_Fuck._

xOxOx

When the first guests began to arrive twenty minutes after the time listed on the invitation, Molly hurried to the front door and was there before Hermione could even get up from the sofa in the living room where she sat with Ron and his father.

All day Molly had been contemplating the identity of Harry's mystery guest. If not Oliver, Harry's supposed sweetheart, then whom? Of course, Ron, who apparently had nothing better to do with his day (he could've been at work _earning_ his promotion, she'd pointed out), found it a good idea to tease her with the bit of information that she desired. She smacked him on the back of the head every time he teased her. He just laughed.

Molly eagerly opened the door, hoping that it was Harry.

"Oh, it's just you," she said out of disappointment.

"Gee, nice to see you too, mum," George said with a grin. "I could go home, you know, if I'm not welcome . . ." He sounded hopeful.

Molly gave an exasperated sigh and yanked him into the house. "Oh, just get in here!" She shut the door behind him.

Hermione came into the foyer to greet her guest. "Hullo, George."

She gave a startled yelp as the twin swept her up in his arms and hugged her, spinning her around. "Hermione! It's _amazing_ how you manage to look so gorgeous despite _all_ of those extra pounds you've gained!" exclaimed George sweetly.

"I ought to--!"

He just giggled as he dodged Hermione's fist.

"Oi, where's Fred?" Ron asked as he joined them.

"Fred? _Fred?_ Why do I always have to be with _Fred?_" George asked, sounding offended. "What, are we--"

"—joined at the hip or something?" finished Fred as he Apparated into the room. "Hello, dear family. Well, George and I, the most important guests tonight, have arrived, so now the party can start! Where's everyone else?"

Hermione gave them a satisfied look. "Actually, you two are the first to arrive."

The twins looked stricken and devastated. Hermione and Ron shared a laugh.

Molly pursed her lips. "G o and sit with your father, you two! Shoo!"

The young adults shuffled back into the living room, leaving Molly to tend to the door.

After a few minutes, more and more Weasleys began to trickle in—Bill and Charlie appeared together, Percy next with his fiancé, then Ginny followed by Sirius and Remus.

However, Harry and his mystery guest were nowhere to be found.

"I say we start without him," Fred declared to the rest of the group. "I'm starving."

George nodded and sent his younger brother a sympathetic look. "He's probably too busy snogging Oliver Wood to show up. Sorry Ron, I guess getting a bit of _arse_ is more important than friendship."

Just then there was a knock at the door. Molly jumped to her feet and was there in a flash. She could hear voices on the other side before she even opened it.

"I can't believe we're an _hour_ late! You promised Hermione that you'd have me here on time and-" That, she could tell, was Harry.

"Oh, so this is _my_ fault? I think most certainly think not." _That_ voice . . . smooth, silky, sarcastic . . . she _knew_ that voice!

Molly yanked open the door and there stood Harry with Severus Snape, of all people, at his side.

"Harry! Severus . . . what a surprise," she said, not knowing to make of their appearance together.

The two came in, Harry looking flustered, his face pink. Severus, however was just as cool as ever, his own face blank.

As Molly took their cloaks, she gave Harry a warm, motherly smile which he returned. "You look good dear. Your shirt is very nice. Is it new?"

Severus snickered rather loudly, causing Harry's face to light up even more. "Um, yes, it _is_ new. Thanks. I am _so_ sorry Mrs. Weasley," Harry gushed apologetically. "I tried to be on time, but--"

"It's quite alright," Molly said, avoiding looking Severus in the eye. "Let's go to the dining room. Everyone's ready to eat."

xOxOx

The group took their seats and anxiously began passing the large bowls and plates of steaming food around and began conversing amongst themselves. Harry, who was sitting to Severus' right, sat stiffly in the chair, aware of the curious looks that he was receiving from the Weasleys. Suddenly he was having second thoughts about revealing his plans to them . . . he couldn't even begin to imagine their reactions.

Distracted, Harry passed every plate full of food that he received to Severus without taking anything for himself, not noticing that his plate was quite empty. He returned to reality when Severus began shoveling food from his own plate onto Harry's. Their eyes met, but Harry could not read the other man. No surprise, when had he ever been able to?

Ron noticed and smirked. _How cute._ "So, mate, do you mind telling us why we had to starve for an entire hour while we waited for you to arrive?"

Harry blushed and stared down at his plate. The entire table went quiet. "Well . . . you see . . . Severus didn't like the shirt I wanted to wear."

"The shirt was ugly," Severus replied with a straight face as he sipped his tea.

"It wasn't ugly!" Harry insisted, glancing around the table. "It was _red-_"

"-and ugly."

"So he banished all of my shirts and I had to go to the store to get another one."

George grinned. "Looks good on you though. I bet Snape picked it out . . . since you have no fashion sense whatsoever."

Several members of the table laughed. Harry just mumbled under his breath, clearly not amused. Severus' long fingers slid over the table to cover Harry's reassuringly. The younger man just pouted.

Molly cleared her throat, eyeing the pale, thin hand covering Harry's that remained there for, in her opinion, a few more seconds than was appropriate. "Okay, now that _that_ is settled, let's eat."

"Finally!" exclaimed the twins as they dug into their plate which we overflowing with food.

The rest of the meal went rather peacefully. Severus was indeed on his best behavior as he'd been instructed by Harry, ignoring the death glares that Sirius was giving him and maintaining a civil conversation with Arthur, Bill and Charlie about their work at the Ministry, pausing every once and a while to ask Harry if he was okay.

_So . . . I DID tell him to be on his best behavior, but he's practically being an angel! _Harry frowned down at his plate as he picked at his food. Severus had to be up to something . . . but what was it?

When all of the food was devoured and the plates magically cleared from the table, Percy cleared his throat and taped the side of his glass with his fork before getting to his feet. The twins made faces at him, but their antics were quickly put to an end by one look from Molly.

"Ah, I'd like to say something if I could," Percy said, glancing down at his future wife. "Er, I'd like to thank my family for being so understanding about my . . . surprise engagement. You too, Harry for . . ."

"Rescuing you from the tree?" Ron suggested.

Percy blushed and Harry laughed. "It's okay. Anytime."

Percy gave him a gratefully look and nodded.

"Are you done?" demanded Fred, only to have his ear's flicked by his twin. "Way to spoil the moment," George said with a grin.

"Well, I'd like to say something," Remus said hesitantly.

Harry perked up. He'd almost forgotten about Remus and Sirius' announcement. "Go on!"

"Um, just a few days ago, Sirius and I took little trip to the Bahamas . . ." He drifted off, blushing.

Sirius teasingly poked Remus in the arm. "Don't try to sugar coat it! Tell them what you did."

"They don't need to know _that_ part!" Remus insisted frantically.

Now everyone was interested, even Severus.

"Ohhhh, do tell, Sirius!"

"Fine, Remus, you leave me no choice. I'll tell them!" Sirius turned to the rest of the table, looking quite scandalous. "So we went to the Bahamas, and on the first night--"

"Sirius, _don't!"_

"—he got me _flaming_ drunk--"

"Sirius!" Remus pleaded as Severus grunted, "Do I want to hear the rest of this?"

"—and tricked me into eloping with him!" Sirius concluded with a cheesy grin. Remus just looked embarrassed.

"YES!" Harry exclaimed. "Way to go Remus!"

"It was the only way," Remus replied solemnly. Everyone except for Severus, who just rolled his eyes, laughed.

"You don't look upset Sirius," Charlie remarked.

"I'm not. I guess I was just afraid of nothing. I feel the same way I did before we got married." Sirius turned to Percy and said, "You've got nothing to fear, don't worry."

Ginny bounced in her seat. "Oh, let's see the ring!" All of the women leaned forward to get a better looked.

Sirius looked sheepish. "Um, you see . . ."

Remus held up his hand and childishly stuck his tongue out at his husband. "You know what they say about payback . . ."

The table went silent, and then Ginny let out a sudden peal of laughter. "A _rubber band_?! _That's _your ring?!"

When Remus nodded in confirmation, the room erupted in laughter.

Severus was in heaven. "Oh, this is rich, Black! A rubber band?"

"Shut up, you." Sirius held his head high. "I didn't have anything else."

"Why didn't you just transfigure it?" asked Arthur.

"Sirius was too drunk," Remus said simply. "He couldn't have cast a spell if his life depended on it."

"Not _my_ fault! Besides, you thought it was _cute_," Sirius said. "Tomorrow I'll take you down to the Gringotts family vault and you can pick out any ring you want. There's enough of them."

"Speaking of Gringotts . . ." Severus said suddenly.

Harry watched curiously as Severus withdrew a suede box from his pocket, opened it and placed it on the table in front of him. "_Sweet Merlin . . ."_ was all he could say.

Severus looked extremely smug. "If we are to be wed, then _we'll _do it correctly."

It took a while for Snape's words to register with the group, but when it did, all hell broke loose.

"Now wait a minute!" shouted Bill, Charlie and Percy at the same time, coming to their feet.

Sirius' face turned purple as he croaked, "Y-y-you two are . . . GETTING MARRIED?!"

Now everyone was talking at once, asking Harry to explain, cursing Snape to hell . . . Ron, however, was just sitting back in his chair, enjoying the spectacle, and Hermione was quietly sipping her tea. It didn't really matter, though. Harry and Severus were quite oblivious to the commotion.

"You . . . yesterday, you went to Gringotts for this?"" Harry carefully removed ring from the box and stared at it, wide-eyed.

"Holy shit," Ginny swore loudly. Her eyes went as wide as saucers as she gapped at the ring in Harry's hand.

"Ah, yes," murmured Snape as the table quieted down and they all stared. "A bit better than a rubber band, isn't it Miss Weasley?"

"A _bit_," Harry agreed. The band was cleaned and polished silver and on it were three precious stones- a large diamond with two smaller emerald stones to it's left and right. "Beautiful . . ."

As Harry moved to put it on, Molly quickly spoke up. "Harry, are you _sure _about this? I mean, you two don't really _know _each other."

Harry paused and looked up. "I think so. I've known him since I was eleven."

Arthur frowned out of concern. "Surely you haven't _liked_ him since then."

A loud gasp came from one end of the table, catching everyone's attention. "That _play_!" Molly exclaimed, looking horrified. "Oh, so it _was _true!"

Harry was momentarily confused, but when he finally caught on, he laughed so hard that he could not manage a reply.

Severus glared at the red-headed, _red-faced _ matriarch, who was fanning herself furiously with a napkin. "I'm insulted that you'd believe such a thing about me," he said angrily. "I can assure you that nothing inappropriate occurred." Severus glared down at the giggling young man next to him. "Besides," he began loftily, "he wasn't much to look at back then."

That shut Harry up. "Oi!"

"Wait a minute! What are you talking about?" demanded Sirius with fire in his eyes.

Arthur placed a hand on his wife's arm and shook his head to stop her from telling the others about the play. No need to incite a riot. "Nothing of relevance, I assure you. Just Dumbledore up to his old tricks again."

Molly still looked suspicious. Harry and Snape's relationship made no sense to her. "So _why_, then? Why are you two getting married?"

Harry glanced up at Severus, who nodded slightly. "Well, Mrs. Weasley, we came to realize that we . . . well, we both wanted something similar. Um, well, we've decided to have a baby together."

Most of the members of the table were dumbfounded. Sirius was confused. Harry was supposed to take Snape's . . . _stuff_ and have nothing more to do with him.

Then what Remus had said about his Hogwarts girlfriend popped into his mind. _Uh, oh. Severus wasn't willing to part with the child, so Harry's forced to live the rest of his life with the slimy bastard to get what he wants. Damn! I knew this was a bad idea._

Karen hesitantly spoke up, breaking the silence. "Oh, Harry, this is so wonderful!" she said with a smile. "When you came into our office to talk to Jackson, I was more than curious about who the other father was going to be. What a surprise, my boss will be pleased."

"Excuse me," Severus said, his voice low and filled with something dangerous. "Did you say _Jackson_? As in Jackson _Edwards_?" he demanded.

"Um . . . yes," the young lady squeaked.

"Why? What's going on? You _knew_ about this?" sputtered Percy, glancing between his fiancée, Harry and Severus.

"Jackson Edwards?" Hermione asked curiously. "Say, Ron, didn't we get some kind of invitation from him for something or other?" Ron nodded, confirming her suspicions.

"Er, Severus." Harry said slowly. "Is everything alright?"

"The bastard," Severus muttered underneath his breath. Then he spoke louder, addressing the rest of the table. "Jackson Edwards is my cousin, who has apparently created a way for two men to have a child and apparently, Percy's fiancée works for him." He turned to Harry, giving him a blistering glare. "You didn't tell me _he _was involved."

"Well, how the hell was I supposed to know? His last name isn't Snape . . ." Harry thought back, then swore. "Wait . . . now that I think about it, he _did _have a similarly hooked nose . . . but I thought Sirius gave you that."

"Who _fucking_ cares?!" roared Sirius furiously. "What I care about is whether, Harry, being with Snape, a greasy, thin, bean-stalk of a man who just happens to be twice your age will make you happy, and Snape, if you're going to do your damn best to _make sure that he is_."

"I assure you, Black, that I have no intentions of harming your godson," Severus said coolly. "I wouldn't hurt the father of my child."

"Just so you know," Harry added, "you guys aren't going to change my mind, no matter how much you yell and scream and kick. You're just going to have to deal with it."

"Well!" Ginny exclaimed with a sigh as she got to her feet. "What an exciting night _this _has been, but, you know, its getting late and . . ."

"Oh, oh, yes," Molly said, eyeing Harry and Severus. "You all are free to go, I suppose."

"Great. I'm leaving before the hexing starts," George said and vanished with a pop. Fred followed suit.

Remus gripped Sirius' arm as they got up from the table, keeping him from leaping over it and choking Snape with his own greasy hair. "You two," Sirius grunted, "had better be at my place first thing tomorrow morning. We are going to have _a talk._"

"Er . . . okay. Fine," Harry said, sighing with relief as Remus led his angry husband away. He then turned to Molly, who still wore a look of concern on her face. "Goodni--"

Harry didn't have a chance to finish his sentence. Severus grabbed him by the waist and Apparated out.

"That was _so_ rude!" Harry said disapprovingly as they entered Snape's dungeon. "Well, I guess that's okay, because you were civil for the entire evening--"

"So, Jackson is the doctor in charge of this?" Severus demanded.

"_Yes._ Is that a problem?" Harry stared at the man as he poured himself a glass of wine. "Wait, you're not backing out, are you?"

"No," Severus reassured him. "Jackson is . . . a good man. I think we can trust him to maintain a good level of confidentiality."

"Confidentiality? You were worried about that?"

"Yes! With the Death Eaters on the move again, they could use that child . . ." Severus drifted off, not wanting to think about it.

"Oh. Yeah. It would be a good idea to keep our plans within the family."

Severus sat on the couch and with the flick of his wand, a fire started in the fireplace. He stared at the flames, occasionally sipping from his glass.

"Severus, let's go to bed. You can worry tomorrow when we have to face Sirius."

The older man grunted and set down his empty glass. He headed towards the bedroom, taking Harry by the waist on the way, dragging him along.

"Well, Sev, if you were _that_ eager to take me to bed, all you had to do was say so and—umph!"

A searing kiss shut him up for the rest of the night.


End file.
